(no subject)
im not so sure i can do this anymore. its all so one sided.
i guess the one-sidedness is mostly because my issues stem from wanting what i cant have...which is him. so where i can be his support and he can call me and vent to me and i can comfort him...i dont ask him to do the same. he cannot comfort me because he doesnt want me.
i dont do it because i think me being there for him will make him want me. i do it because i genuinely care about him...my friend.
he has a paper to write. i should understand that. i should understand that he left because of that and not because he doesnt want to be with me. but my mind doesnt work like that. to me, he left tonight because he got what he needed from me...comfort. he can get the stuff he wants from a woman elsewhere. looks. personality. whatever.
i cant do it.
what do i get from this? i get to feel like im not good enough. not good enough to settle for.
on top of this. i think ive lost my friends. esp lauren.
i cant handle it anymore.
i guess the one-sidedness is mostly because my issues stem from wanting what i cant have...which is him. so where i can be his support and he can call me and vent to me and i can comfort him...i dont ask him to do the same. he cannot comfort me because he doesnt want me.
i dont do it because i think me being there for him will make him want me. i do it because i genuinely care about him...my friend.
he has a paper to write. i should understand that. i should understand that he left because of that and not because he doesnt want to be with me. but my mind doesnt work like that. to me, he left tonight because he got what he needed from me...comfort. he can get the stuff he wants from a woman elsewhere. looks. personality. whatever.
i cant do it.
what do i get from this? i get to feel like im not good enough. not good enough to settle for.
on top of this. i think ive lost my friends. esp lauren.
i cant handle it anymore.