Cause I'm a Redneck Mama
Yesterday was the final installment of Sydney Li’s Birthday 2005. I swear birthdays last two weeks per child when you have to visit this relative and that relative and have the family party and the kids from school party. We actually have to tell the kids their birthday is over now!
Anyway back to yesterday. It was fun. I was totally freaked out but the kids never caught on so that works. No one RSVP’d. We invited ten girls from school, a cousin and her best friend from Preschool and not one person called to say if they were coming or not. I set up for twelve kids and just crossed my fingers. . . . And paced. . . . And called my sisters for support. . . . Oh yeah and wrote up a back up list of family friends I could call if an emergency guest list was needed.
The most important guest was her friend from Preschool. Of course they were the only ones to call and say they couldn’t make it. Her younger brother went into the hospital with a severe double ear infection. The other younger brother had been hospitalized two days ago with bronchitis and the Father had just had knee surgery on Friday. So the mother went to the hospital with the two boys and Daddy got to hobble around on crutches with the girls. I was able to talk him into letting me pick up Chelsea and he seemed relieved to have one less child to chase. It didn’t occur to me until later I should have invited the siblings who were home. I feel bad about that.
Sydney looked precious in her hot pink cowgirl out fit and pigtails. Thomas and I both wore vests. ViVi whipped out a dress I had forgotten about. Leather patches on the shoulders and belt line and faux snake skin made her look very western. One other child showed up. She was a bit whiney but really I was just glad we had “guests” instead of “guest.” Her mom said she was allergic to red dye 40 and couldn’t drink the punch I bought. I have never heard of that. She said it makes her instantly hyper. Huh.
Everyone got hats and bandanas which were very cute. Of course hats flew out the window when Aunt KiKi arrived and would only wear the bandana. Kiki was dressed to the hilt in a men’s western shirt and three inch wide leather belt. She looked like Aunt Jemima with her red kerchief on her head. She had brought baby Penelope. KiKi said she didn’t have time to buy Lolly anything western so she gave her a beef stick to chaw on for a costume. It worked.
But the decorations turned out better than I expected. The three big screen TV boxes I managed to wrangle magically turned into a jail house, a Miss Kitty’s saloon and dancing stage, and a General store with stocked shelves. Of course it rained cats and dogs so everything had to be moved indoors. We had signs to lead you to the party that read “Sydney Li’s birthday corral has been moved indoors. Please curb your ponies.” A sign leading to the stables. Also, a couple of wanted posters for being “6 Xs cuter than the average birthday girl”, “excessive use of brains and beauty”, and “may be found armed and ticklish”.
We made paper bag cowgirl vests that were not only stylish but dry in time to go home with them. Phew. That was a relief. I made ViVi party sheriff and put her in charge of the kids. It made her feel less left out and more special. She hosted a Simon says game that went bonkers with ridiculous antics. Mostly because they knew no matter what they said I was gonna do it. They were five! Somebody was bound to cry when they did something Cowgirl ViVi didn’t say so I had to do everything so it was me too! This was a ridiculous (and good) plan cause Chelsea, the best friend, sucked at this game and would have cried immediately if I hadn’t gotten out more than her. This prompted KiKi to initiate Tooty Ta. Many of you won’t recognize that song unless I have forced you to participate but suffice it to say it was embarrassing and we had to play it many times to see Mama do it alone and even get out for it!
We had to cancel the Sheriff and Varmints game of tag since we were moved indoors out of the rain. We also had to cancel Pass the Hat because Chelsea hadn’t had time to get Sydney Li a birthday present what with all the trips to the hospital and you have to pass your gift to play. With only two guests this would have been too obvious and embarrassing for her. But the biggest hit of all was the country CD aunt Erica had bought. Apparently Ferguson is a closet country music town. Everybody but me knew all the words to every song and insisted on singing it at the top of their lungs. I was in the dark but managed to glean the chorus before the party ended. Who needs games when you have spontaneous karaoke? Redneck Woman, No shoes no shirt no problem, and save a horse Ride a cowboy, were the most popular and may I add the most inappropriate for kids. Oh well. If the kids know the words that mean their parents let them hear it already right?
An hour before closing one more guest showed up. Who does that without calling? I would have postponed games if I knew someone was still coming! But we rounded it out with cookie cake and dress up for the stage so in all I think it was a hit. It was all very Hoosier, redneck, and white trash and I am sure the parents thought we were insane (not to mention the cashier at the grocery store when I made a last minute run for supplies and forgot to de-cowgirl) but Sydney Li said it was just what she hoped for and couldn’t ask for anything more (except for more guests!)
Success right? Hell Yeah!
Anyway back to yesterday. It was fun. I was totally freaked out but the kids never caught on so that works. No one RSVP’d. We invited ten girls from school, a cousin and her best friend from Preschool and not one person called to say if they were coming or not. I set up for twelve kids and just crossed my fingers. . . . And paced. . . . And called my sisters for support. . . . Oh yeah and wrote up a back up list of family friends I could call if an emergency guest list was needed.
The most important guest was her friend from Preschool. Of course they were the only ones to call and say they couldn’t make it. Her younger brother went into the hospital with a severe double ear infection. The other younger brother had been hospitalized two days ago with bronchitis and the Father had just had knee surgery on Friday. So the mother went to the hospital with the two boys and Daddy got to hobble around on crutches with the girls. I was able to talk him into letting me pick up Chelsea and he seemed relieved to have one less child to chase. It didn’t occur to me until later I should have invited the siblings who were home. I feel bad about that.
Sydney looked precious in her hot pink cowgirl out fit and pigtails. Thomas and I both wore vests. ViVi whipped out a dress I had forgotten about. Leather patches on the shoulders and belt line and faux snake skin made her look very western. One other child showed up. She was a bit whiney but really I was just glad we had “guests” instead of “guest.” Her mom said she was allergic to red dye 40 and couldn’t drink the punch I bought. I have never heard of that. She said it makes her instantly hyper. Huh.
Everyone got hats and bandanas which were very cute. Of course hats flew out the window when Aunt KiKi arrived and would only wear the bandana. Kiki was dressed to the hilt in a men’s western shirt and three inch wide leather belt. She looked like Aunt Jemima with her red kerchief on her head. She had brought baby Penelope. KiKi said she didn’t have time to buy Lolly anything western so she gave her a beef stick to chaw on for a costume. It worked.
But the decorations turned out better than I expected. The three big screen TV boxes I managed to wrangle magically turned into a jail house, a Miss Kitty’s saloon and dancing stage, and a General store with stocked shelves. Of course it rained cats and dogs so everything had to be moved indoors. We had signs to lead you to the party that read “Sydney Li’s birthday corral has been moved indoors. Please curb your ponies.” A sign leading to the stables. Also, a couple of wanted posters for being “6 Xs cuter than the average birthday girl”, “excessive use of brains and beauty”, and “may be found armed and ticklish”.
We made paper bag cowgirl vests that were not only stylish but dry in time to go home with them. Phew. That was a relief. I made ViVi party sheriff and put her in charge of the kids. It made her feel less left out and more special. She hosted a Simon says game that went bonkers with ridiculous antics. Mostly because they knew no matter what they said I was gonna do it. They were five! Somebody was bound to cry when they did something Cowgirl ViVi didn’t say so I had to do everything so it was me too! This was a ridiculous (and good) plan cause Chelsea, the best friend, sucked at this game and would have cried immediately if I hadn’t gotten out more than her. This prompted KiKi to initiate Tooty Ta. Many of you won’t recognize that song unless I have forced you to participate but suffice it to say it was embarrassing and we had to play it many times to see Mama do it alone and even get out for it!
We had to cancel the Sheriff and Varmints game of tag since we were moved indoors out of the rain. We also had to cancel Pass the Hat because Chelsea hadn’t had time to get Sydney Li a birthday present what with all the trips to the hospital and you have to pass your gift to play. With only two guests this would have been too obvious and embarrassing for her. But the biggest hit of all was the country CD aunt Erica had bought. Apparently Ferguson is a closet country music town. Everybody but me knew all the words to every song and insisted on singing it at the top of their lungs. I was in the dark but managed to glean the chorus before the party ended. Who needs games when you have spontaneous karaoke? Redneck Woman, No shoes no shirt no problem, and save a horse Ride a cowboy, were the most popular and may I add the most inappropriate for kids. Oh well. If the kids know the words that mean their parents let them hear it already right?
An hour before closing one more guest showed up. Who does that without calling? I would have postponed games if I knew someone was still coming! But we rounded it out with cookie cake and dress up for the stage so in all I think it was a hit. It was all very Hoosier, redneck, and white trash and I am sure the parents thought we were insane (not to mention the cashier at the grocery store when I made a last minute run for supplies and forgot to de-cowgirl) but Sydney Li said it was just what she hoped for and couldn’t ask for anything more (except for more guests!)
Success right? Hell Yeah!