Family Fight
As someone who watched my parents divorce at the age of 13, family was always a sensitive topic for me. I remember when I was 5, my brother was just born, me and my sister who's a year younger would treasure our little brother. As we grew up, we took care of him and played with him. I remember when my sister put make up on him and I put oranges in his shirt and we made him a girl and our parents would be in the living room being lovey dovey. When they started to argue, we would hide in my sister's room as it was the biggest and hug each other and keep the door close. Cause we knew we were all we had left. Whispering small reassuring words to each other, like our family will still be together. At the age of 13, I knew it wasn't going to happen, but when my little brother and sister asking, there was nothing else I could say. When they divorced, we would cuddle in the room with each other and cry sometimes telling each other everything will be ok, but wiping away our tears when my mom came home.
Unlike my siblings, I took the divorce the worst. Instead of a happy and hyper 13 year old and child my family saw as I was growing up, I let depression take over me. I stopped talking during dinners, I stayed in my room all the time, and I stopped talking to friends at school. I started to walk home alone instead of with people around me. My grandma send me to therapy. I remember that day I got home from therapy, she came and gave me some food and was like god will forgive you for not being a good child. I ignored her and ran into my room and locked the door crying. No one understood me, and it took me over two years before my best friend tried and opened me back. And thanks to that friend, I finally saw light again.
Years past, I'm 19 now, my sister 18 and my brother 14. These past two months have been arguments over arguments for my family. My family moved downstairs, me and my sister now share a room, our warm cozy room. First my aunt argues with my grandparents, and because of this argument, my grandpa refuses to talk with my aunt. But Chinese New Year is coming soon, and in all traditional Chinese families, before the new years, everyone in the family gets together and has a big dinner. It's when everyone is happy and there are warm hugs and kisses, but there won't be such dinner for my mom's side this year. My mom got into an argument with my grandma because she was trying to explain my aunt's reasons for the argument. My stupid grandma as always would backfire everything, although none was out of my mom's mouth, it ended up backfiring, so she started to yell at my mom. The argument got heated so I dumped my bowl in the sink and I went in my room closed the door and covered my ears. When my brother came in he sat there with his food and we sat in silence. My sister came in afterwards, and I sat on my bed, letting tears fall. This time around, it was my siblings telling me all was going to be ok. After all, we're all that we have left, each other.
This year, there won't be a end of year gathering in this household. There won't be cheers and laughters for the new years. There won't be kids running around and red envelopes being given. There won't be congratulations and words of luck. All there will be are more noises from arguments and napkins in the garbage because of tears. The feelings of a my heart being crushed once again because of family. The same feeling I had 6 years ago.
Unlike my siblings, I took the divorce the worst. Instead of a happy and hyper 13 year old and child my family saw as I was growing up, I let depression take over me. I stopped talking during dinners, I stayed in my room all the time, and I stopped talking to friends at school. I started to walk home alone instead of with people around me. My grandma send me to therapy. I remember that day I got home from therapy, she came and gave me some food and was like god will forgive you for not being a good child. I ignored her and ran into my room and locked the door crying. No one understood me, and it took me over two years before my best friend tried and opened me back. And thanks to that friend, I finally saw light again.
Years past, I'm 19 now, my sister 18 and my brother 14. These past two months have been arguments over arguments for my family. My family moved downstairs, me and my sister now share a room, our warm cozy room. First my aunt argues with my grandparents, and because of this argument, my grandpa refuses to talk with my aunt. But Chinese New Year is coming soon, and in all traditional Chinese families, before the new years, everyone in the family gets together and has a big dinner. It's when everyone is happy and there are warm hugs and kisses, but there won't be such dinner for my mom's side this year. My mom got into an argument with my grandma because she was trying to explain my aunt's reasons for the argument. My stupid grandma as always would backfire everything, although none was out of my mom's mouth, it ended up backfiring, so she started to yell at my mom. The argument got heated so I dumped my bowl in the sink and I went in my room closed the door and covered my ears. When my brother came in he sat there with his food and we sat in silence. My sister came in afterwards, and I sat on my bed, letting tears fall. This time around, it was my siblings telling me all was going to be ok. After all, we're all that we have left, each other.
This year, there won't be a end of year gathering in this household. There won't be cheers and laughters for the new years. There won't be kids running around and red envelopes being given. There won't be congratulations and words of luck. All there will be are more noises from arguments and napkins in the garbage because of tears. The feelings of a my heart being crushed once again because of family. The same feeling I had 6 years ago.