(no subject)
Searching for this home saps a little bit more of my soul every week -_-
So weekend before this past one we went for 5 more places. 1 place in El Cerrito (weren't allowed in, location a bit too scary), 1 place in Martinez (the broker wanted us to pay the full move-in deposit BEFORE she'd show us the place or consider our application...um, no.), 1 place in Berkeley (could have been cool, had no wall neighbors and was right by my old job so the first place I'd feel actually familiar with - but open house was PACKED and we were already overhearing a bunch of "how much past asking should we offer?" from the other seekers when asking was already our max, so we were basically discouraged out of it), 1 place in Benicia (small but cute, new remodeled interior, purportedly little noise, manager seemed to really like me and want me to apply, but no view, pool or anything and a good deal more expensive than the previous ocean view apt that did have those things so the comparison hurt it - and I think R is less inclined to live that far away than he's letting on), and 1 place in concord (another standalone house that we could afford! It had some issues, was seriously isolated location-wise, had a rusted out husk of a carport that was supposedly going to become a garage, weird teensy in-law slapped on the front that would be rented separately, could cause noise problems - but we were willing to risk it and went for it as hard as we could, wrote heartfelt letter, etc. - but were quickly rejected despite meeting every criteria, presumably outbid. That one hurt once again).
R and I had a big discussion that week about our trajectory that left me feeling pretty hopeless. Generally I just do whatever I'm able about a situation, but here everything that needs to change is something completely out of my hands, and backed by mounting pressure, leaving me feeling both stuck and falling, like I'm in an elevator shaft. The week felt like another bottoming out for me, but I fear the real bottom is still to come.
This weekend was a little more of the same...saw a place in Martinez that ended up being a bait-and-switch (model apt. looked nice enough, but price confirmed over the phone turned into much higher price after we drove an hour to get there -_-), and then another place in Benicia that was...well, really not bad. Nicely finished on the inside, enough space (first viable place with closet space rivaling what we have now), no actual view but nice greenery around the back deck hiding the lack of view, non-coin-op laundry in the unit (awesome), access to a pool, and an up-front landlady who told us the rent wouldn't go up and she'd be good to us long as we were good to her and didn't wreck the place, and that understood that pets were family! But unfortunately there were a good few people there as well, we were informed that willingness to move in immediately and possibly to pay more would be likely factors if there was a lot of competition, and now we're feeling really pressured to go at this one hard too, and quickly (we saw it Sunday), which I'd be happy to do, but again I think R really isn't happy with Benicia due to the commute but doesn't want to come out and take it off the table for fear of making me sad. I need clarity here :/
On top of THAT, apparently a guy, real estate agent R works with, told him on Friday/Saturday to "give him a couple days" and he'd "see what he could do" about finding something that we could work with in the city because he considered R family and didn't want us to have to leave. Which sounds amazing but, well, is really easy to say, maybe impossible to pull off. I really don't want to get my hopes up after all the recent heartbreak, but there it goes sneaking around shinnying up my psyche's drainpipe - in some ways despite my cynicism I'm pretty naive -_- Apparently he is aware of our max rent (which is LAUGHINGLY below SF market) and needs for the new place and still told R this anyway. Do we take this guy at his word and wait for him, or do we throw ourselves (and our application fees) at this place in Benicia and commit to that, despite R's commute, since hard commitment is such a factor in competing for the place? Honestly we may already be too late -_-
We were pretty drained from all the driving around and the fear/failure, so our only big excursion last week was a long walk through the burning (uncharacteristic for here) sun to the street food festival at Pier 70 - pretty huge and stuffed with vendors in kind of a post-apocalyptic atmosphere thanks to the giant warehouse and whole roasting pigs (there was a vegetarian protest parade there too, ostensibly over the roasting). I did get to nom on a coconut milk and cilantro battered fried chicken banh mi and jasmine cream tea from Bicycle Banh Mi, mango sticky rice cotton candy from Sugar & Spun, bacon cheeseburger and apple pie lumpias from The Lumpia Company, and a mango mochi muffin from Wing Wings (I'm not a giant fan of their wings but glahagalag that glutinous muffin bite)!
This weekend outside of the home seeking was a trip to Ikea (oh god no they have bulk candy now...the same bulk candy expensive boutiques in SF carry for more than twice the cost...save me!), a viewing of The Gift (it was pretty good - I felt it could have gone further in the plot, and R thinks it suffered a bit from the whole written/directed/starring spreading thin aspect, but I enjoyed Joel Edgerton's portrayal of an awkward dude, I think he got it down very well. Doesn't have to be a visual super-nerd, but just creepy in subtle ways; I have honestly known people like this), and an impromptu BBQ dinner party at my friend J's house, which was awesome...we brought bulgogi and nommed on lots of meats and homemade sides and weird apple pie moonshine and played Cards Against Humanity with her and some of her friends. Very nice to unwind, though after parties my face hurts really bad from all the smiling :P
Also caught The Drop on HBO, and that's also a good watch! I may have liked it a bit more than the Gift (not that they're related) - it seems mainly a study of Tom Hardy's "I don't know if you're smart or stupid" excellently performed and intriguing character. James Gandolfini (RIP - I never saw him in anything till he was already dead, it gives my liking of him this extra I-missed-it sadness) and Noomi Rapace also performed very well, the whole "does every single person in NJ talk to each other in veiled-threat creepiness? If so I am NEVER going there" vibe we got was both hilarious and appropriate to the story, plus the most adorable pit bull puppy ever didn't hurt.
Missed Sunday's programming so I don't yet have an opinion on Fear the Walking Dead (hopeful though!). But I can say I find Playing house really funny, was finally convinced to watch it by Keegan Michael Key's presence and 3 episodes in am enjoying myself despite the fear that the super-close-girlfriends trope would grate...that makes 2 shows on usa (Mr. Robot YAY!) I'm enjoying...at once. what is going on here? Apparently they're moving away from their 'Blue skies Only' programming and allowing some compelling writing in there. Perhaps thanks to the high popularity of writing-focused shows these days other networks will turn towards that and away from quick flash and reality asshattery. If these trends continue...eyyyy!
Also, Seo Kim's comics are delightful! Her book actually made me laugh hysterically out loud many times, to the amusement of R :P