Living with myself
I have been going through some emotional things deep within me for some odd reason. I thought they were gone but they seem to just float back. Last night I pretty much was yelled at by the one i love the most because of my ignorance and stupid thoughts of my low self esteem within me that always wishes to burst out on occassion. I feel like i'm putting him through the winding circle of hell but i don't know how to stop it. I guess i just need to stop worrying about everything and anything under the sun.
I know he won't leave me because we are going on a year of dating October 5th. It's kind crazy how far we have come as a couple despite all the obstacles i needed to over come. He helped me stop smoking, he helped me become a healthy weight rather than being 20 lbs under weight and becoming major anorexic and being shipped off to the hospital. He helped me elevate much stress from school but i still need to work on that. He has helped me emotionally in more ways than one with my home life, and he has always been there to encourage me through the good times and bad. He is always thinking positively and always boost my confidence up to the max when it comes to anything really.
I really want to do something nice for him. Something above and beyond anything i've done before and yet at the same time make it memorable so he wont forget. I'm just trying to think of something i can possibly do to make that happen. My mind has been churning all night pretty much. I'm pretty sleep deprived thanks to my design classes. I've been kept really busy and its only the 3rd week of classes damn...
I really hope that my stupid little thoughts and turn around behavior doesn't affect us as a couple. The reason i say this is the fact that the bond we have between one another i don't think i could find anywhere else. I don't want it with anyone else. I pretty much would be done with myself if i ever lost him. That's how much i'm in love with him. To some it seems very unhealthy and more like an obsession but i would like to call it mad love. Cause anything i do is mainly for me and him. Every day when i pounder its mainly about me and him. I see him quite a lot and i think what happened last night was me breaking from all the stress deep within. If i feel something I should just blurt it out. I'm always afraid to say anything because i feel it will put more stress on him but in reality putting it off makes it even worse.
well i gotta get ready for work and i gotta eat something too. hopefully i can get this ordeal straightened around and make something memorable for him. I know he cares about me a lot and I should show him how much he cares about me...
have a nice week/weekend everyone
Christie
I know he won't leave me because we are going on a year of dating October 5th. It's kind crazy how far we have come as a couple despite all the obstacles i needed to over come. He helped me stop smoking, he helped me become a healthy weight rather than being 20 lbs under weight and becoming major anorexic and being shipped off to the hospital. He helped me elevate much stress from school but i still need to work on that. He has helped me emotionally in more ways than one with my home life, and he has always been there to encourage me through the good times and bad. He is always thinking positively and always boost my confidence up to the max when it comes to anything really.
I really want to do something nice for him. Something above and beyond anything i've done before and yet at the same time make it memorable so he wont forget. I'm just trying to think of something i can possibly do to make that happen. My mind has been churning all night pretty much. I'm pretty sleep deprived thanks to my design classes. I've been kept really busy and its only the 3rd week of classes damn...
I really hope that my stupid little thoughts and turn around behavior doesn't affect us as a couple. The reason i say this is the fact that the bond we have between one another i don't think i could find anywhere else. I don't want it with anyone else. I pretty much would be done with myself if i ever lost him. That's how much i'm in love with him. To some it seems very unhealthy and more like an obsession but i would like to call it mad love. Cause anything i do is mainly for me and him. Every day when i pounder its mainly about me and him. I see him quite a lot and i think what happened last night was me breaking from all the stress deep within. If i feel something I should just blurt it out. I'm always afraid to say anything because i feel it will put more stress on him but in reality putting it off makes it even worse.
well i gotta get ready for work and i gotta eat something too. hopefully i can get this ordeal straightened around and make something memorable for him. I know he cares about me a lot and I should show him how much he cares about me...
have a nice week/weekend everyone
Christie