I'm scared now...
I'm scared for my life that this relationship isn't doing that well at all...Yesterday i was thinking on ways to do something memorable for matt. then when we started discussing stuff all the shit hit the fan....
I guess he doesn't feel the "bond" we had between one another anymore which is bad sign number 1. Bad sign number 2 he almost broke up with me cause he is under so much stress that he can't handle anymore. Bad sign number 3 he's taking stuff out on me. Which this particular thing doesn't bother me cause thats his way of venting. It's going to a be a year in a matter of weeks that we have been going out.
I'm so god damn attached to him, and he broke up with me...I don't know what my state of mind will be at. He says he still loves me. but he feels everything deteriorating in front of his eyes. I mean i'm trying my best to handle my stupid stress which my actions the past week have been uncalled for. I'm hoping that after I knock off my immature behavior that he will come around again. I'm scared he is just going to walk out of my life and never come back...:(
My myspace page yes looks pretty damn emo and says scared with everything all over the place but that is how i feel...I feel lost, scared, hopeless and everything you can possibly imagine. I have put my whole heart out on the table for this relationship and now it could be possibly crushed into a million pieces cause of stress....I don't know what to do.
I assured him that I wasn't going anywhere that I would be there for him when he needed me. That I would be the person he could come to, to vent out his fears and distresses...I've always been that but he is like me that can't find the words to say to the other. he claims he doesn't want to bring me down with him...which isn't going to happen because i've been down that road one too many times.
I'm just going to fight with my all to keep this relationship blooming. I don't ever want to lose what i have with matt ever...he's my everything and if i lost my everything i would be nothing...He's my drug pretty much. I need him everyday to get me through....
but anyways i gotta get going...music is calling me....
christie
I guess he doesn't feel the "bond" we had between one another anymore which is bad sign number 1. Bad sign number 2 he almost broke up with me cause he is under so much stress that he can't handle anymore. Bad sign number 3 he's taking stuff out on me. Which this particular thing doesn't bother me cause thats his way of venting. It's going to a be a year in a matter of weeks that we have been going out.
I'm so god damn attached to him, and he broke up with me...I don't know what my state of mind will be at. He says he still loves me. but he feels everything deteriorating in front of his eyes. I mean i'm trying my best to handle my stupid stress which my actions the past week have been uncalled for. I'm hoping that after I knock off my immature behavior that he will come around again. I'm scared he is just going to walk out of my life and never come back...:(
My myspace page yes looks pretty damn emo and says scared with everything all over the place but that is how i feel...I feel lost, scared, hopeless and everything you can possibly imagine. I have put my whole heart out on the table for this relationship and now it could be possibly crushed into a million pieces cause of stress....I don't know what to do.
I assured him that I wasn't going anywhere that I would be there for him when he needed me. That I would be the person he could come to, to vent out his fears and distresses...I've always been that but he is like me that can't find the words to say to the other. he claims he doesn't want to bring me down with him...which isn't going to happen because i've been down that road one too many times.
I'm just going to fight with my all to keep this relationship blooming. I don't ever want to lose what i have with matt ever...he's my everything and if i lost my everything i would be nothing...He's my drug pretty much. I need him everyday to get me through....
but anyways i gotta get going...music is calling me....
christie