Acts of Desperation
Title: Acts of Desperation
Chapter: 28
Fandom: Jackass/Viva La Bam AU
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Ryan/Bam
Warning: Twelve year age difference between main characters…
Disclaimer: Fiction. Learn it, live it, love it.
Word Count: 3073
Summary: Ryan Dunn is a truck driver who chances picking up a hitchhiker…
Dedicated to: nicb0723 because she needed it…
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27
When Bam woke the next morning, Ryan was still huddled beneath the covers with his face scrunched up in a mass of pillows. The sunlight was inching its way across the floor and had just begun flirting with the edge of the bedding. Clearing his throat, Bam rolled off of the bed, and stumbled his way towards the bathroom. He caught a glimpse of his reflection as he passed the mirror and snorted. His already wild curls stuck up every which way and a light shadow was beginning to darken the line of his jaw. With a yawn, Bam situated himself across from the toilet.
Finished with his business, he washed his hands and tried pushing the hair out of his face. “Fuck it…” He mumbled before sleepily making his way back to the bed and burrowing under the blankets next to Dunn.
“Morning?” Ryan’s statement was more of a question as he opened his arms to pull Bam tight to his chest. Barely grunting in response, Bam nuzzled his face into the crook of Dunn’s arm and sighed. Lifting the boy’s chin until they were face to face, Ryan pressed a kiss against dry lips. He felt Bam cringe, but proceeded to deepen the kiss.
Unable to take it any longer, Bam pulled away. “Ew, dude… my breath tastes like ass…” Laughter burst out from Dunn in a flurry of gasps. The doubtful look on Bam’s face only serving to pull more giggles from his chest, Ryan buried his face in the kid’s neck. “What?!”
A final sigh chasing the last bit of chuckles away, the trucker merely shook his head. “Nothing…”
“Bullshit nothing, Ry! What’s so fucking funny?”
“Your breath tastes like ass?”
Bam smacked his lips together as if testing the exact flavor. “…yeah.”
“Have you ever even tasted ass…” Eyes twinkling, Dunn smirked at him.
“Ew!”
Ryan doubled over in laughter again. It took all of five seconds for Bam to get fed up and push him off of the bed with a huff. He landed with a loud thud. Surprised eyes looked up from the floor. “You… you…”
“Pushed your smart ass … ass off the bed… what of it…”
“Why?!”
“You’re laughing your ass off and won’t tell me what’s so fucking funny!” Bam pouted.
“You are!” Dunn mimicked him. “My breath tastes like ass…”
“Fuck you… so I have morning breath…”
An almost sweet smile passed over Ryan’s face. “You really don’t get what I’m talking about do you?”
“No!”
Climbing back onto the bed, Dunn ran a hand over Bam’s shoulder. He glanced at the alarm clock then back at him. “Do you trust me?”
“We aren’t going into the whole trust talk again, are we?”
“No… just… do you?”
“Ryan.”
“Fine, fine, fine…” The trucker raked his eyes over Bam’s still naked form before leering at him. “Get on your hands and knees.”
“What?!”
“Hand and knees…”
“Why?”
“If you trust me, you’ll just do it.”
With a look halfway between a glare and a pout, Bam complied. Once settled he looked over his shoulder. “You do realize I haven’t showered since last night…”
“Yeah, Bam… I do.” With that, Dunn moved to kneel behind Bam. “Face forward.”
“What?!”
“Face. Forward. Brandon.”
“Fucker.”
Ryan chuckled but waited for Bam to look straight ahead. Then with a serious expression, leaned forward and placed an opened mouthed kiss in curve of his lower back. Before Bam could protest, Dunn inched lower. Initially allowing his tongue to barely dip between the twin mounds of flesh, he moved closer and closer to his destination.
“Ryan, what are you doing?” Bam asked nervously; his voice betraying every ounce of doubt and insecurity… and disgust.
“Shh…” Clasping his hands over supple cheeks, he pulled them apart. His breath ghosting over Bam’s entrance, Dunn let out an almost silent moan before pressing forward. When Bam started to pull away, Ryan tightened his grip on his hips and flicked his tongue around the rim.
With a loud hiccup, Bam’s breath caught in his throat. Upon feeling a tongue penetrate him, he let out a strangled moan. Hands clenching sheets tight in his fists, Bam arched his ass into Dunn’s face. When the coarse hair of the trucker’s beard scraped over his balls, the only thing Bam could do was let instincts take over. Thighs spreading, he rolled his hips just to feel the burn of Ryan’s coarse hair against him.
Lips and tongue separating from Bam, Dunn nipped and kissed his way up the boy’s back. And paying specific attention to his shoulder blades he retrieved a condom from the night stand. His mouth never leaving Bam’s skin, Ryan rolled on the latex and angled himself. “Breathe…” He suggested softly before pushing in and burying himself to the hilt in one thrust.
Bam’s voice caught in his throat. But with his next breath, he slammed back onto Dunn’s hips repeatedly. “Not enough…” He finally managed to gasp.
Behind him, Ryan’s bottom lip was white between his teeth. He wrapped an arm around Bam’s stomach and pulled him back until they both knelt in the middle of the bed. Rocking his hips, Dunn wrapped his fist around Bam’s cock and squeezed.
Moaning loudly, Bam tensed. “More…” He sighed pressing his ass against the trucker.
Red, wet lips peppered feather light kisses along Bam’s collar bone. With a flash a white canines, Ryan sunk his teeth over a delicate patch of pale skin. All around him, Bam shuddered. Cum bathed Dunn’s fingers as the hot, tight heat gripping his cock spasmed. With a bark of a shout, he thrust roughly into Bam and came.
Bam was the first to speak. “Holy fuck…” He fell to his stomach on the bed. “I don’t think I can move…”
Chuckling, Ryan stretched out over him and nuzzled his ear. “Then don’t… we still have a couple hours before we have to go anywhere…”
Groaning and whimpering, Bam melted into the pillows. He turned his head to look over his shoulder with a sly look in his eyes. “This is going to be a long trip, isn’t it?”
Dunn planted a cheerful kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Would you have it any other way?”
“Uh uh…” Bam grinned. “Got my very own Ry-blanket… mmm”
“Cute.”
“I know…”
Snickering, Ryan eased away from him just enough to remove the condom and toss it towards the trash can. He was about to tent the blankets over the two of them and bask in the warmth and body heat when his cell went off. Not moving more than he had to, Dunn grabbed his phone. “Hello?”
“Where the hell are you guys?!”
“Jesse?”
“Ape’s freaking out… Bam hasn’t called since you guys left… where the hell are you?”
“Shit, calm down… we’re near the state line of Kentucky and Indiana…”
“Is Bam awake?”
“…Kinda.”
“Let me speak to him.”
Without protest Dunn handed Bam the phone. “It’s your brother…” He mouthed.
“Y’ello?” Bam mumbled. “M’fine… Jesus, Jess… it’s only been a couple days… she didn’t give a fuck before… no, I’m not being too fucking harsh… I’m barely awake and you call and bitch at me, what do you think my problem is… we’re fine… no, I spent it all the first day on candy and shit… Damn, I’ve barely spent twenty bucks, okay? Fine, whatever…” He met Ryan’s eyes. “He wants to talk to you…”
“Yeah?” Dunn asked cautiously.
“You taking care of him?”
“Of course.”
“He doesn’t sound sleepy, you know?”
“…”
“Have call Ape, please… and not in the state he’s in now…”
Sighing grumpily, Dunn replied. “I’ll try… it’s not like I can force him to call her if he doesn’t want to…”
“She fucking let him back out on the road with you… figure something out.”
“Okay… anything else?”
“Deron says hey…”
“Oh-kay?”
“Bye, Ryan.”
“Bye…”
He pressed the red button on his phone and rolled onto his back on the bed. “Well, that was… fun.”
“What’s fucking his problem?”
“You need to call your mother, Bam.”
“To hear her cry and shit? No, fucking thank you.”
“No, Bam you need to call your mom…”
“You gonna fucking make me?”
“If you’re smart about us… you’ll call her later today… without me making you.”
“It’s like she’s still right over our fucking shoulder, fuck…” Ryan tried to hold it in, but he just couldn’t. Laughter bubbled up and escaped his lips. “What?!”
“Think you could say fuck any more in the next five minutes than you just did?”
“Fuck, you think I fucking can’t?”
Giggling, Ryan stood and headed for the bathroom. “You coming or not…?”
***
The wind whipped through Bam’s just washed hair and lapped at his freshly shaven face. Hunching into himself, he trudged across the parking lot to Dunn’s truck. The last thing he wanted to do was face another day in the truck with this damn wind. California still seemed so far away. Chilled by the sleeper interior’s air, Bam shivered as he pressed into the seat for warmth. The frown etched on his face transformed into a shy smile upon catching glimpse of Ryan approaching. His classic, black headband pushed the loose strands that the pony tail never seemed to catch from off of his face. Reddened forehead and cheeks bowed under the pressure of the wind, Dunn kept his head down until he was in the safety of the cab.
“Fuck, it’s cold out there…” Bam said with a bright smile.
Ryan chuckled and grabbed a pair of work gloves from the dashboard. “I’ve got to do a pre-trip, but I’m going to let the truck idle so it’ll warm up… that cool?”
“Want some help?”
“… Maybe someday I can show you how to do one, but I just want to get this one done fast and get moving…”
“Oh… okay.”
Dunn cut his eyes at Bam. “Hey… if I need to re-secure or tarp the sign…you can bet your ass I’ll have you come out and help…”
Nodding, Bam pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped a still cold coat around himself. “Hurry, okay?”
“Sure thing…”
The previous night and morning playing through his head, Bam let his head fall back against the seat and closed his eyes. It was damn hard to believe that all those flashes of memories of their first meeting, their first kiss, all those nights lying awake broken and lonely… so lonely… It no longer seemed real. Still his life now didn’t seem that real either. It felt more like it was all too good to be true. So many cold and hungry nights shouldn’t lead up to this insane connection with a near stranger. It shouldn’t lead up to the feelings that tore at Bam’s heart until he felt like ripping the organ from his chest, while at the same time filled him with such a blossoming of belonging that he never wanted to leave its warm embrace.
Running his hands over the cracked dash, Bam fingered the assorted rags and gloves that lined the windshield. As the heater kicked on, yellowed pages of worn mechanic books fluttered in the breeze. Smiling, Bam let his legs drop from his chest as he inhaled the very essence of the cab. He’d meant every word he’d said when he’d told Ryan that he wasn’t where he ever expected to be but in the end there was nowhere else he’d rather be. He was still grinning from ear to ear when Dunn started to climb back in the cab with is logbook in hand.
“What’s up with you?”
“I’m happy… that a crime?”
Ryan looked over his seat then under it. “Depends on what you’re so happy about…”
“Get in here… I didn’t do shit to your seat.”
A heady draft forced its way inside as if to hasten the trucker’s entry. Dunn settled down onto his seat with a loud sigh before rubbing his hands together vigorously. Beside him, Bam leaned forward and turned up the heat with a flirtatious wink. Mid-rub, Ryan paused and narrowed his eyes. “Seriously, what’re ya so happy about?”
Bam rolled his eyes and snorted cheerfully. “Being here with you…”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Without second thought that they were within eyesight of anyone that cared to look, Dunn arched forward and placed a quick but meaning-laden kiss on Bam’s lips. “Let’s haul ass…”
“Petal to the metal…”
“Put the hammer down…”
“Ooooh! Someone’s been studying… and you claim you weren’t a good student.”
“Never had a reason to be until now, good buddy.”
Laughing yet again, Ryan sat back in his seat and buckled up. Even as they pulled out of the lot, he shot Bam a few jovial glances. He wasn’t quite sure what was up with the boy, but whatever it was… he definitely liked it…
***
“Hey, Ape…”
“Don’t you ‘hey, Ape’ me, young man! We specifically agreed that if you were going back out on the road with that tr… with Ryan… you were to call me… daily.”
“We agreed on shit, you dictated.”
“I am still your mother.”
“You gonna pay Ry’s cell bill then?”
“Don’t get smart with me. You could call me collect from a pay phone… you never hesitated before.”
“So this is it? The same overbearing bullshit as me staying there?”
“You’re still young enough, that I could have you pulled off of that truck in a heart beat.”
“I knew you’d end up doing this. Dunn denied it, but I fucking knew it. It’s okay to kick my ass out because you catch me sucking cock… but let me live my life like an adult… and you want a choke collar around my neck. Well, I’m not going to fucking do it. I’ll do whatever the fuck I want. And if you threaten Ryan with having me pulled of the truck again… I ain’t never coming home.”
Tears. The sound of angry sobs and tears echoed in Bam’s ears. “You are still my son…”
“Who’s in a serious relationship with a trucker. Ape… sometimes we don’t even stay at truck stops. Sometimes we end up in some parking area along the side of the highway for ten hours. I can’t call you every night and check in like some grade-school kid at summer camp. This is my life now…”
“What about skating?”
“I skate.”
“In parking lots? At truck stops… Bam, you have so much potential… and you’re use it for what?”
“He loves me, mom.”
She snorted. “I’m not saying that Ryan’s not a sweetheart and that he hasn’t been good for you… but you come from two different worlds. One day you’re going to wake up beside him and despise him for everything he took away from you without even knowing it…”
“I’m done arguing. Good-bye, Ape.”
“Bam, wait!”
“What?”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“And Bam?”
“Call me the next time you can… please.”
“When I can.”
He pressed the red end call button before she could speak again. Fingers digging into his temples, Bam rubbed at the ache slowly building deep inside of his skull. She’d done it. She’d threatened them just like in his dream. Sure, it wasn’t word for word… action for action. But Ape had threatened to have him taken off of the truck. He was bent in half over his knees, hands tangled in his curls trying to calm his thoughts when Dunn climbed into the cab.
“They had shit for food here, I thought we could… hey, you alright. Babe, what’s wrong?”
Sniffling, Bam didn’t move. “I called Ape.”
“What happened?”
“She did it…”
“Did what?”
“Threatened to have me taken off the truck because I haven’t called her daily…”
“You were supposed to be calling her every day?!” Ryan’s voice raised. “Bam! Why did you fucking tell me that?! She’s going to… oh, fuck. Bam, you really shouldn’t fight her on this… she could screw both of our lives up beyond belief…”
“She said that we come from different worlds and that one day I’m gonna wake up beside you and hate you for everything I never got to do because I’m out here with you…”
“You might…”
Abruptly sitting up, Bam centered his reddened eyes on the trucker. “You’ve never told me I couldn’t do anything… if I wanted to skate every since night we stopped… you’d let me. If I asked you to try and load around skate demos, you would…”
“Yeah, Bam… if it made you happy and I could… I would… but what’s your point?”
“The point is… I will not end up despising your ass.” Bam lashed out and punched the dash. “This is why I didn’t want to fucking call her…” He clutched at his stomach. “I’m gonna be sick…”
“Hey…” Dunn rubbed his hand over Bam’s back. “Just breathe, okay? Think she’ll back off a little if you call her more?”
“Yeah, but that’s not the point…”
“The point is your mom’s losing her baby… and she’ll say anything right now. Try calling her more… see if it helps.”
“Did you mean what you said the other day… about disappearing… we could really do that if worse came to worse?”
Ryan’s entire body tensed. “If worse came to worse… but things aren’t even headed in that direction yet…” He shifted gears. When Bam shot him a glare, he responded. “We have to get off the fuel island…”
“…Okay…” Bam slammed back into his seat. “She fucking ruined the entire god-damn day. Everything was so perfect until…”
“Perfect?”
“Yeah… perfect. Then she fucked it all up...”
Not stopping, Dunn headed back onto the interstate. “She actually wanting you off the truck?”
“No… she wants me to call her the next possible time I can over the next couple days…”
“Then forget about it… call her tomorrow and forget all the negative shit she said today. It can still be a perfect day…”
“How?”
“Well, why was it such a perfect day before?” Blushing, Bam looked out the window. Ryan didn’t let that stop him. “… whatever the reason… just focus on that… think about where you want to eat at today… We’re going to be going through multiple states… we’ll be in another time zone by nightfall.”
“Ry?”
“Yeah?”
“Love you…”
Dunn squeezed Bam’s knees quickly before returning his hand to the wheel. “Me too, babe… me too…”
Chapter: 28
Fandom: Jackass/Viva La Bam AU
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Ryan/Bam
Warning: Twelve year age difference between main characters…
Disclaimer: Fiction. Learn it, live it, love it.
Word Count: 3073
Summary: Ryan Dunn is a truck driver who chances picking up a hitchhiker…
Dedicated to: nicb0723 because she needed it…
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27
When Bam woke the next morning, Ryan was still huddled beneath the covers with his face scrunched up in a mass of pillows. The sunlight was inching its way across the floor and had just begun flirting with the edge of the bedding. Clearing his throat, Bam rolled off of the bed, and stumbled his way towards the bathroom. He caught a glimpse of his reflection as he passed the mirror and snorted. His already wild curls stuck up every which way and a light shadow was beginning to darken the line of his jaw. With a yawn, Bam situated himself across from the toilet.
Finished with his business, he washed his hands and tried pushing the hair out of his face. “Fuck it…” He mumbled before sleepily making his way back to the bed and burrowing under the blankets next to Dunn.
“Morning?” Ryan’s statement was more of a question as he opened his arms to pull Bam tight to his chest. Barely grunting in response, Bam nuzzled his face into the crook of Dunn’s arm and sighed. Lifting the boy’s chin until they were face to face, Ryan pressed a kiss against dry lips. He felt Bam cringe, but proceeded to deepen the kiss.
Unable to take it any longer, Bam pulled away. “Ew, dude… my breath tastes like ass…” Laughter burst out from Dunn in a flurry of gasps. The doubtful look on Bam’s face only serving to pull more giggles from his chest, Ryan buried his face in the kid’s neck. “What?!”
A final sigh chasing the last bit of chuckles away, the trucker merely shook his head. “Nothing…”
“Bullshit nothing, Ry! What’s so fucking funny?”
“Your breath tastes like ass?”
Bam smacked his lips together as if testing the exact flavor. “…yeah.”
“Have you ever even tasted ass…” Eyes twinkling, Dunn smirked at him.
“Ew!”
Ryan doubled over in laughter again. It took all of five seconds for Bam to get fed up and push him off of the bed with a huff. He landed with a loud thud. Surprised eyes looked up from the floor. “You… you…”
“Pushed your smart ass … ass off the bed… what of it…”
“Why?!”
“You’re laughing your ass off and won’t tell me what’s so fucking funny!” Bam pouted.
“You are!” Dunn mimicked him. “My breath tastes like ass…”
“Fuck you… so I have morning breath…”
An almost sweet smile passed over Ryan’s face. “You really don’t get what I’m talking about do you?”
“No!”
Climbing back onto the bed, Dunn ran a hand over Bam’s shoulder. He glanced at the alarm clock then back at him. “Do you trust me?”
“We aren’t going into the whole trust talk again, are we?”
“No… just… do you?”
“Ryan.”
“Fine, fine, fine…” The trucker raked his eyes over Bam’s still naked form before leering at him. “Get on your hands and knees.”
“What?!”
“Hand and knees…”
“Why?”
“If you trust me, you’ll just do it.”
With a look halfway between a glare and a pout, Bam complied. Once settled he looked over his shoulder. “You do realize I haven’t showered since last night…”
“Yeah, Bam… I do.” With that, Dunn moved to kneel behind Bam. “Face forward.”
“What?!”
“Face. Forward. Brandon.”
“Fucker.”
Ryan chuckled but waited for Bam to look straight ahead. Then with a serious expression, leaned forward and placed an opened mouthed kiss in curve of his lower back. Before Bam could protest, Dunn inched lower. Initially allowing his tongue to barely dip between the twin mounds of flesh, he moved closer and closer to his destination.
“Ryan, what are you doing?” Bam asked nervously; his voice betraying every ounce of doubt and insecurity… and disgust.
“Shh…” Clasping his hands over supple cheeks, he pulled them apart. His breath ghosting over Bam’s entrance, Dunn let out an almost silent moan before pressing forward. When Bam started to pull away, Ryan tightened his grip on his hips and flicked his tongue around the rim.
With a loud hiccup, Bam’s breath caught in his throat. Upon feeling a tongue penetrate him, he let out a strangled moan. Hands clenching sheets tight in his fists, Bam arched his ass into Dunn’s face. When the coarse hair of the trucker’s beard scraped over his balls, the only thing Bam could do was let instincts take over. Thighs spreading, he rolled his hips just to feel the burn of Ryan’s coarse hair against him.
Lips and tongue separating from Bam, Dunn nipped and kissed his way up the boy’s back. And paying specific attention to his shoulder blades he retrieved a condom from the night stand. His mouth never leaving Bam’s skin, Ryan rolled on the latex and angled himself. “Breathe…” He suggested softly before pushing in and burying himself to the hilt in one thrust.
Bam’s voice caught in his throat. But with his next breath, he slammed back onto Dunn’s hips repeatedly. “Not enough…” He finally managed to gasp.
Behind him, Ryan’s bottom lip was white between his teeth. He wrapped an arm around Bam’s stomach and pulled him back until they both knelt in the middle of the bed. Rocking his hips, Dunn wrapped his fist around Bam’s cock and squeezed.
Moaning loudly, Bam tensed. “More…” He sighed pressing his ass against the trucker.
Red, wet lips peppered feather light kisses along Bam’s collar bone. With a flash a white canines, Ryan sunk his teeth over a delicate patch of pale skin. All around him, Bam shuddered. Cum bathed Dunn’s fingers as the hot, tight heat gripping his cock spasmed. With a bark of a shout, he thrust roughly into Bam and came.
Bam was the first to speak. “Holy fuck…” He fell to his stomach on the bed. “I don’t think I can move…”
Chuckling, Ryan stretched out over him and nuzzled his ear. “Then don’t… we still have a couple hours before we have to go anywhere…”
Groaning and whimpering, Bam melted into the pillows. He turned his head to look over his shoulder with a sly look in his eyes. “This is going to be a long trip, isn’t it?”
Dunn planted a cheerful kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Would you have it any other way?”
“Uh uh…” Bam grinned. “Got my very own Ry-blanket… mmm”
“Cute.”
“I know…”
Snickering, Ryan eased away from him just enough to remove the condom and toss it towards the trash can. He was about to tent the blankets over the two of them and bask in the warmth and body heat when his cell went off. Not moving more than he had to, Dunn grabbed his phone. “Hello?”
“Where the hell are you guys?!”
“Jesse?”
“Ape’s freaking out… Bam hasn’t called since you guys left… where the hell are you?”
“Shit, calm down… we’re near the state line of Kentucky and Indiana…”
“Is Bam awake?”
“…Kinda.”
“Let me speak to him.”
Without protest Dunn handed Bam the phone. “It’s your brother…” He mouthed.
“Y’ello?” Bam mumbled. “M’fine… Jesus, Jess… it’s only been a couple days… she didn’t give a fuck before… no, I’m not being too fucking harsh… I’m barely awake and you call and bitch at me, what do you think my problem is… we’re fine… no, I spent it all the first day on candy and shit… Damn, I’ve barely spent twenty bucks, okay? Fine, whatever…” He met Ryan’s eyes. “He wants to talk to you…”
“Yeah?” Dunn asked cautiously.
“You taking care of him?”
“Of course.”
“He doesn’t sound sleepy, you know?”
“…”
“Have call Ape, please… and not in the state he’s in now…”
Sighing grumpily, Dunn replied. “I’ll try… it’s not like I can force him to call her if he doesn’t want to…”
“She fucking let him back out on the road with you… figure something out.”
“Okay… anything else?”
“Deron says hey…”
“Oh-kay?”
“Bye, Ryan.”
“Bye…”
He pressed the red button on his phone and rolled onto his back on the bed. “Well, that was… fun.”
“What’s fucking his problem?”
“You need to call your mother, Bam.”
“To hear her cry and shit? No, fucking thank you.”
“No, Bam you need to call your mom…”
“You gonna fucking make me?”
“If you’re smart about us… you’ll call her later today… without me making you.”
“It’s like she’s still right over our fucking shoulder, fuck…” Ryan tried to hold it in, but he just couldn’t. Laughter bubbled up and escaped his lips. “What?!”
“Think you could say fuck any more in the next five minutes than you just did?”
“Fuck, you think I fucking can’t?”
Giggling, Ryan stood and headed for the bathroom. “You coming or not…?”
***
The wind whipped through Bam’s just washed hair and lapped at his freshly shaven face. Hunching into himself, he trudged across the parking lot to Dunn’s truck. The last thing he wanted to do was face another day in the truck with this damn wind. California still seemed so far away. Chilled by the sleeper interior’s air, Bam shivered as he pressed into the seat for warmth. The frown etched on his face transformed into a shy smile upon catching glimpse of Ryan approaching. His classic, black headband pushed the loose strands that the pony tail never seemed to catch from off of his face. Reddened forehead and cheeks bowed under the pressure of the wind, Dunn kept his head down until he was in the safety of the cab.
“Fuck, it’s cold out there…” Bam said with a bright smile.
Ryan chuckled and grabbed a pair of work gloves from the dashboard. “I’ve got to do a pre-trip, but I’m going to let the truck idle so it’ll warm up… that cool?”
“Want some help?”
“… Maybe someday I can show you how to do one, but I just want to get this one done fast and get moving…”
“Oh… okay.”
Dunn cut his eyes at Bam. “Hey… if I need to re-secure or tarp the sign…you can bet your ass I’ll have you come out and help…”
Nodding, Bam pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped a still cold coat around himself. “Hurry, okay?”
“Sure thing…”
The previous night and morning playing through his head, Bam let his head fall back against the seat and closed his eyes. It was damn hard to believe that all those flashes of memories of their first meeting, their first kiss, all those nights lying awake broken and lonely… so lonely… It no longer seemed real. Still his life now didn’t seem that real either. It felt more like it was all too good to be true. So many cold and hungry nights shouldn’t lead up to this insane connection with a near stranger. It shouldn’t lead up to the feelings that tore at Bam’s heart until he felt like ripping the organ from his chest, while at the same time filled him with such a blossoming of belonging that he never wanted to leave its warm embrace.
Running his hands over the cracked dash, Bam fingered the assorted rags and gloves that lined the windshield. As the heater kicked on, yellowed pages of worn mechanic books fluttered in the breeze. Smiling, Bam let his legs drop from his chest as he inhaled the very essence of the cab. He’d meant every word he’d said when he’d told Ryan that he wasn’t where he ever expected to be but in the end there was nowhere else he’d rather be. He was still grinning from ear to ear when Dunn started to climb back in the cab with is logbook in hand.
“What’s up with you?”
“I’m happy… that a crime?”
Ryan looked over his seat then under it. “Depends on what you’re so happy about…”
“Get in here… I didn’t do shit to your seat.”
A heady draft forced its way inside as if to hasten the trucker’s entry. Dunn settled down onto his seat with a loud sigh before rubbing his hands together vigorously. Beside him, Bam leaned forward and turned up the heat with a flirtatious wink. Mid-rub, Ryan paused and narrowed his eyes. “Seriously, what’re ya so happy about?”
Bam rolled his eyes and snorted cheerfully. “Being here with you…”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Without second thought that they were within eyesight of anyone that cared to look, Dunn arched forward and placed a quick but meaning-laden kiss on Bam’s lips. “Let’s haul ass…”
“Petal to the metal…”
“Put the hammer down…”
“Ooooh! Someone’s been studying… and you claim you weren’t a good student.”
“Never had a reason to be until now, good buddy.”
Laughing yet again, Ryan sat back in his seat and buckled up. Even as they pulled out of the lot, he shot Bam a few jovial glances. He wasn’t quite sure what was up with the boy, but whatever it was… he definitely liked it…
***
“Hey, Ape…”
“Don’t you ‘hey, Ape’ me, young man! We specifically agreed that if you were going back out on the road with that tr… with Ryan… you were to call me… daily.”
“We agreed on shit, you dictated.”
“I am still your mother.”
“You gonna pay Ry’s cell bill then?”
“Don’t get smart with me. You could call me collect from a pay phone… you never hesitated before.”
“So this is it? The same overbearing bullshit as me staying there?”
“You’re still young enough, that I could have you pulled off of that truck in a heart beat.”
“I knew you’d end up doing this. Dunn denied it, but I fucking knew it. It’s okay to kick my ass out because you catch me sucking cock… but let me live my life like an adult… and you want a choke collar around my neck. Well, I’m not going to fucking do it. I’ll do whatever the fuck I want. And if you threaten Ryan with having me pulled of the truck again… I ain’t never coming home.”
Tears. The sound of angry sobs and tears echoed in Bam’s ears. “You are still my son…”
“Who’s in a serious relationship with a trucker. Ape… sometimes we don’t even stay at truck stops. Sometimes we end up in some parking area along the side of the highway for ten hours. I can’t call you every night and check in like some grade-school kid at summer camp. This is my life now…”
“What about skating?”
“I skate.”
“In parking lots? At truck stops… Bam, you have so much potential… and you’re use it for what?”
“He loves me, mom.”
She snorted. “I’m not saying that Ryan’s not a sweetheart and that he hasn’t been good for you… but you come from two different worlds. One day you’re going to wake up beside him and despise him for everything he took away from you without even knowing it…”
“I’m done arguing. Good-bye, Ape.”
“Bam, wait!”
“What?”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“And Bam?”
“Call me the next time you can… please.”
“When I can.”
He pressed the red end call button before she could speak again. Fingers digging into his temples, Bam rubbed at the ache slowly building deep inside of his skull. She’d done it. She’d threatened them just like in his dream. Sure, it wasn’t word for word… action for action. But Ape had threatened to have him taken off of the truck. He was bent in half over his knees, hands tangled in his curls trying to calm his thoughts when Dunn climbed into the cab.
“They had shit for food here, I thought we could… hey, you alright. Babe, what’s wrong?”
Sniffling, Bam didn’t move. “I called Ape.”
“What happened?”
“She did it…”
“Did what?”
“Threatened to have me taken off the truck because I haven’t called her daily…”
“You were supposed to be calling her every day?!” Ryan’s voice raised. “Bam! Why did you fucking tell me that?! She’s going to… oh, fuck. Bam, you really shouldn’t fight her on this… she could screw both of our lives up beyond belief…”
“She said that we come from different worlds and that one day I’m gonna wake up beside you and hate you for everything I never got to do because I’m out here with you…”
“You might…”
Abruptly sitting up, Bam centered his reddened eyes on the trucker. “You’ve never told me I couldn’t do anything… if I wanted to skate every since night we stopped… you’d let me. If I asked you to try and load around skate demos, you would…”
“Yeah, Bam… if it made you happy and I could… I would… but what’s your point?”
“The point is… I will not end up despising your ass.” Bam lashed out and punched the dash. “This is why I didn’t want to fucking call her…” He clutched at his stomach. “I’m gonna be sick…”
“Hey…” Dunn rubbed his hand over Bam’s back. “Just breathe, okay? Think she’ll back off a little if you call her more?”
“Yeah, but that’s not the point…”
“The point is your mom’s losing her baby… and she’ll say anything right now. Try calling her more… see if it helps.”
“Did you mean what you said the other day… about disappearing… we could really do that if worse came to worse?”
Ryan’s entire body tensed. “If worse came to worse… but things aren’t even headed in that direction yet…” He shifted gears. When Bam shot him a glare, he responded. “We have to get off the fuel island…”
“…Okay…” Bam slammed back into his seat. “She fucking ruined the entire god-damn day. Everything was so perfect until…”
“Perfect?”
“Yeah… perfect. Then she fucked it all up...”
Not stopping, Dunn headed back onto the interstate. “She actually wanting you off the truck?”
“No… she wants me to call her the next possible time I can over the next couple days…”
“Then forget about it… call her tomorrow and forget all the negative shit she said today. It can still be a perfect day…”
“How?”
“Well, why was it such a perfect day before?” Blushing, Bam looked out the window. Ryan didn’t let that stop him. “… whatever the reason… just focus on that… think about where you want to eat at today… We’re going to be going through multiple states… we’ll be in another time zone by nightfall.”
“Ry?”
“Yeah?”
“Love you…”
Dunn squeezed Bam’s knees quickly before returning his hand to the wheel. “Me too, babe… me too…”