Acts of Desperation
Title: Acts of Desperation
Chapter: 6
Fandom: Jackass/Viva La Bam AU
Rating: R
Pairing: Ryan/Bam
Warning: Twelve year age difference between main characters...
Disclaimer: Fiction. Learn it, live it, love it.
Word Count: 2242
Summary: Ryan Dunn is a truck driver who chances picking up a hitchhiker...
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5
The sudden awareness of limbs long chilled coiled around Bam’s brain and drew him from sleep. Shivering he pressed against the warmth lining his back. Fingers that he’d only just noticed carding through his hair stopped.
“Mmm…” He moaned grumpily and wiggled his head against the hand.
“As much as I like having a human sized cat on my lap… you need to get up or move… I gotta piss…”
Rolling over with a huff, Bam met Ryan’s eye with a smile. Almost as if of their own accord, Dunn’s fingers danced over his face; their caress obvious to both man and boy. “Gotta pay the toll…” Bam teased.
Eyebrows raised slightly, Ryan smirked. “And that would be?”
“A kiss…”
Cupping his hand gently on Bam’s jaw, Ryan leaned forward. The mere inches of space between them stretched into an eternity before their lips met. What had been intended as a chaste kiss soon transformed into so much more as Bam opened his mouth allowing Dunn deeper access.
Breathless, Ryan pulled away with an apology already forming on his lips. Bam merely smiled again and shuffled off of the bunk dragging the blanket with him. Dunn tugged on a coat. Silently slipping past the curtain, he stumbled over the Qualcom. From the sleeper, Bam snickered and climbed back onto the bed falling back asleep.
***
By the time he’d located the truck stop bathroom and relieved himself, Ryan found himself standing on the edge of alertness. Through half-lidded eyes he took in his appearance in the clouded restroom mirror. As he scrubbed the remaining evidence of last night’s activities from his hands, he considered Bam’s words. The guilty ache spreading and blooming from his gut dissipated. He’d wanted oh-so-very much to hook Bam’s ankles over his shoulders and plow deep and hard into his ass… and he hadn’t. When Bam had said stop… he had indeed stopped. Hindsight twenty-twenty, there would have been no way to make that not painful. Especially if his assumption was right about it being Bam‘s first time going that far. They needed proper… commodities. And truly, Bam had initiated everything. Though that didn’t make what they’d just done justifiable… it made Ryan feel like less of a predator and pervert. Quickly drying his hands he went in search of breakfast.
Standing in front of the pastry counter, a realization struck him. Ryan knew next to nothing about Bam. From his original appearance he could fathom what music the kid might be interested in… further backed up by the company he’d sought out at the laundromat. He liked anime and… food. But the small things like: maple or crème filled? Coke or Pepsi? Doritos or Fritos? Dunn didn’t have a clue. Then it struck him. Birthday. When and where was Bam born? What about school? Had he dropped out? What were his hobbies, interests, aspirations? If what was developing between them was ever going to be more than just… wrongness, these were things he should know. Grabbing a varied selection of donuts, Ryan headed to the counter.
“Find everything alright?”
“Yeah, thanks… Uh, hey, is there a mall around here?” Ryan asked placing the bag in front of the clerk.
“A few miles up Lincoln Street then take a right at the Shell Gas station…”
“How much to park a loaded step deck here?” He nodded towards the truck parking lot.
“Ten a day…”
Peering into his wallet, Dunn paused for a second. “Add two days…”
“Anything else?”
“Nah, I’m good…”
The barest hint of sun was peeking out from a cluster of clouds as Ryan made his way back to the truck. Carefully avoiding the Qualcom this time, he climbed back into the sleeper and set the bag of donuts down beside Bam’s blanket covered form. After digging through his clothes he found a pair of green carpenter pants and a black t-shirt and set them next to Bam as well before leaning over and whispering in his ear.
“Wake up…” He chanced a delicate swipe of his tongue over the curve of Bam’s ear. Bam groaned and rolled onto his back, thankfully in the opposite direction of the donuts. The same smile from earlier still adorned his face. “Donut?” Ryan offered.
“Oh!” His eyes lit up and he scrambled to open the bag. “… why’d you get so many?” Bam blinked at him before drawing out a Krueller.
“I didn’t know what kind you liked…”
“Plain’s fine… but I love these…”
“What are those called?”
“Kruellers.”
“Why do you like them?”
Tearing off a chunk, Bam pressed a piece to Ryan’s lips. “Here, taste…”
Eyes latching onto Bam’s, Dunn opened his mouth and allowed the boy to press the pastry past his teeth and onto his tongue. He noticed every breath he took as Bam’s fingers grazed his lips upon their exit. Ryan chewed slowly. There was a distinct airiness to the donut. It almost tasted doughy… almost. He could understand the preference for it though. “Hmm…” Dunn mumbled softly just before swallowing. “Did I grab more than one of those?”
Bam quickly dove back into the bag and withdrew another. “Yep!” Ryan reached out for it. “Ah, ah, ah… surcharge.”
Snorting out a laugh, Dunn replied. “Surcharge?”
“Uh huh.”
“Let me guess… a kiss?”
“Nope…” Surprised, Ryan cocked his head at Bam. “Two kisses.” He replied.
Running his hand over his beard, Dunn pretended to consider it before smiling and leaning forward. Just when he was a breath away from Bam’s lips he tilted his head and pressed his mouth over the pulse point along Bam’s neck. He gently sucked the flesh between his teeth before mouthing a kiss. Wordlessly, he moved to the other side of Bam’s neck and repeated the process. When finished, Ryan snatched the donut from his hand. He was half-way done with it before the dazed expression left Bam’s face.
“Fucking cheater…”
Chest rising and falling in silent laughter, Dunn continued chewing on his Krueller; which only served to draw a rather mischievous looking glare from Bam. The look actually had his stomach turning. On one hand, it meant that the kid was definitely plotting revenge. Bad. On the other hand, said revenge could very well be in the form of groping or straddling. Good and bad points. “Hey now… you didn’t specify.”
“What you need a bill of lading?”
Ryan grinned. “Someone’s been brushing up on his trucker lingo…” He glanced over at his log book and permit binder. “Good thing that’s not a government load… else I’d have to kill you…” He teased.
Bam snorted. “Yeah, right… they’d let your haggard ass on a base…”
Laughing out loud, Dunn shook his head. “You’re probably right…”
This time pulling out a plain one, Bam inhaled another donut before speaking. “I like it though… I can’t imagine you without it.”
“I look fucking awful… I’ll tell you that much…” Silence filled the room as both men slowly ate their way through a half dozen donuts.
“So… is this the truck stop you’re letting me off at…?” Bam asked meekly.
Confusion swept over Ryan’s face momentarily before he remembered his words from days past. Closing his eyes, he shook his head. “No, Bam… I’m not going to kick you off my truck… lord knows what would happen to you… I couldn’t have that resting on my shoulders… besides…” He opened his eyes again. “You’ve kind of grown on me….”
“Thank you…” He mumbled and stared down at his lap.
“Bam?” Dunn reached out and lifted his chin. “Promise me this though… Don’t do anything or let anything happen that you don’t want… I’m not going to bullshit you… I like you. Hell, I like you a lot. But don’t let some warped sense of gratitude or some shit rule your actions… okay?” Bam blinked and him; eyelashes fluttering repeatedly. “Okay?!”
“…okay.” He pulled away from Ryan’s hand still near his chin. “Did you go to college?”
“What…” Dunn asked distractedly.
“You don’t talk like a truck driver… or like most people I know… I was just wondering…”
“Nah… I read a lot.” Ryan offered. “What about you… school…?”
Shoulders slumping, Bam looked away from him. “I dropped out about six month ago…”
“Is that when you ran away?”
“No. I’ve only been gone three weeks.”
“I know you probably don’t want to tell me much… but I am curious.”
Bam turned back to Ryan. He nibbled on his bottom lip for a second before asking, “What do you wanna know?”
“Um… let’s start off when stuff I know a little about… Why’d you drop out?”
“My friend Raab got kicked out for shitting in his locker… he was really the only reason I’d even bothered to keep going…”
Completely jumping over the image and questions that someone shitting in a locker brought up, Ryan asked. “Your parents were okay with you dropping out?”
“For a while, I was approached by a skateboard company… they’d sponsor me and I’d skate and shit wearing their logo and using their equipment…”
Dunn’s jaw fell. That was damn impressive. “What happened?”
Blinking away tears in such a fashion it was obvious he didn’t want Ryan to notice, Bam pressed his lips together nervously. “When I was talking with a lawyer or something… they went off about my personal activities not painting them in a bad light…”
“And?”
“He ended spouting off some homophobic bullshit and I walked out…”
“Fuck… you seriously make me feel like a god-damn loser, Bam.” Ryan pushed his hair out of his face. “If my fleet manager even hinted at knowing I was gay…”
“… you’d deny it.”
“Yeah. And you… you gave up… well, I don’t know what money they offered you, but you gave shit up over it.”
“Everything…” Bam brought his blanket covered knees to his chest. “Seems really stupid to have done now though…” He pinched his face with a huff. “Fuck.” All the tears he’d been holding back over the last three weeks finally hit him.
Ryan quietly climbed onto the bed next to him and rested a hand on his knee. When Bam didn’t react, he placed another hand on his shoulder. “Hey… don’t be so worried about saving face in front of me… I’m just some loser that drives a truck back and forth across the country…”
“You’re the only reason I’m probably fucking alive, Ryan!” Bam spat back angrily. His eyes were rimmed with red and very wet when he met Dunn’s gaze. “Fine, I’m not saving face in front of you… I’m crying like the fucking, pussy-ass faggot I am, okay? God-damn!”
All he could really do was nod, so that was what Ryan did… he nodded. Slowly moving his hand from Bam’s shoulder, he caressed his hair until the tears subsided. “Better?”
“No…” Bam sighed. “But thanks…”
“You’d think as often as I actually cry myself being the pussy-ass faggot that I am too… that I’d know how to deal with it better… wouldn’t ya?” The first shake of Bam’s shoulders had Dunn thinking the kid was about to let on another bout of water works. When it transformed into shaky giggling, he literally breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay… no more questions for a least ten hours… DOT regs…” He joked before pulling his hands away.
“Okay…”
“Hey… guess what?”
“What?”
“There’s a mall a few miles away… and I paid to park my trailer here for the day…”
Sniffling, Bam peeked over his knees. “Really? You’re serious?”
“Yeah… as long as I bobtail over there and don’t have to park in a parking garage… so… you wanna go?”
“Sure… you ask me after my face looks like shit…”
Dunn stood and leaned over towards a small refrigerator. He pulled out a small ice pack and crushed it against his leg. “Here…” Watching intently as Bam fell back onto the bed and draped the pack over his eyes, Ryan shifted to sit closer. “So… anything you’d be particularly embarrassed by if I wore it to the mall with you?”
“That fucking Seattle shirt… and not just because it has cum stains on it…”
Laughing, Ryan shook his head at Bam even though the boy couldn’t see him. “You wore it…”
“I didn’t have anything else to wear… my shirt smelt like I’d wiped my ass with it…”
“You could have asked for another shirt…”
Bam peeked out from behind the ice pack. “You seriously wouldn’t have gotten pissy with me about that?”
“No…”
Sitting up, Bam placed the ice pack on the bed. “You’re not kidding or exaggerating with this ‘don’t do something you don’t want to,’ are you?”
“No, Bam… I’m not… and true… a t-shirt is just a t-shirt… but I’m not your master, and I’m not your daddy… so feel free to tell me to fuck off whenever the need arises… god knows you didn’t have a problem doing it the first few hours…”
A sly grin spread across Bam’s face. “You pissed me off so bad when you first picked me up… I thought you were just being a fucktard…”
“Fucktard?”
“Fuck. Tard.” Bam emphasized and repeated.
Ryan laughed. “Man, I don’t think I’ll be able to catch on to your lingo as fast as you are mine…”
“That’s okay, gramps…”
“Fuck you!”
Finally smiling again, Bam glanced down at the pile of clothes next to him. “You sure about that not being my daddy shit…?”
Chapter 7
Chapter: 6
Fandom: Jackass/Viva La Bam AU
Rating: R
Pairing: Ryan/Bam
Warning: Twelve year age difference between main characters...
Disclaimer: Fiction. Learn it, live it, love it.
Word Count: 2242
Summary: Ryan Dunn is a truck driver who chances picking up a hitchhiker...
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5
The sudden awareness of limbs long chilled coiled around Bam’s brain and drew him from sleep. Shivering he pressed against the warmth lining his back. Fingers that he’d only just noticed carding through his hair stopped.
“Mmm…” He moaned grumpily and wiggled his head against the hand.
“As much as I like having a human sized cat on my lap… you need to get up or move… I gotta piss…”
Rolling over with a huff, Bam met Ryan’s eye with a smile. Almost as if of their own accord, Dunn’s fingers danced over his face; their caress obvious to both man and boy. “Gotta pay the toll…” Bam teased.
Eyebrows raised slightly, Ryan smirked. “And that would be?”
“A kiss…”
Cupping his hand gently on Bam’s jaw, Ryan leaned forward. The mere inches of space between them stretched into an eternity before their lips met. What had been intended as a chaste kiss soon transformed into so much more as Bam opened his mouth allowing Dunn deeper access.
Breathless, Ryan pulled away with an apology already forming on his lips. Bam merely smiled again and shuffled off of the bunk dragging the blanket with him. Dunn tugged on a coat. Silently slipping past the curtain, he stumbled over the Qualcom. From the sleeper, Bam snickered and climbed back onto the bed falling back asleep.
***
By the time he’d located the truck stop bathroom and relieved himself, Ryan found himself standing on the edge of alertness. Through half-lidded eyes he took in his appearance in the clouded restroom mirror. As he scrubbed the remaining evidence of last night’s activities from his hands, he considered Bam’s words. The guilty ache spreading and blooming from his gut dissipated. He’d wanted oh-so-very much to hook Bam’s ankles over his shoulders and plow deep and hard into his ass… and he hadn’t. When Bam had said stop… he had indeed stopped. Hindsight twenty-twenty, there would have been no way to make that not painful. Especially if his assumption was right about it being Bam‘s first time going that far. They needed proper… commodities. And truly, Bam had initiated everything. Though that didn’t make what they’d just done justifiable… it made Ryan feel like less of a predator and pervert. Quickly drying his hands he went in search of breakfast.
Standing in front of the pastry counter, a realization struck him. Ryan knew next to nothing about Bam. From his original appearance he could fathom what music the kid might be interested in… further backed up by the company he’d sought out at the laundromat. He liked anime and… food. But the small things like: maple or crème filled? Coke or Pepsi? Doritos or Fritos? Dunn didn’t have a clue. Then it struck him. Birthday. When and where was Bam born? What about school? Had he dropped out? What were his hobbies, interests, aspirations? If what was developing between them was ever going to be more than just… wrongness, these were things he should know. Grabbing a varied selection of donuts, Ryan headed to the counter.
“Find everything alright?”
“Yeah, thanks… Uh, hey, is there a mall around here?” Ryan asked placing the bag in front of the clerk.
“A few miles up Lincoln Street then take a right at the Shell Gas station…”
“How much to park a loaded step deck here?” He nodded towards the truck parking lot.
“Ten a day…”
Peering into his wallet, Dunn paused for a second. “Add two days…”
“Anything else?”
“Nah, I’m good…”
The barest hint of sun was peeking out from a cluster of clouds as Ryan made his way back to the truck. Carefully avoiding the Qualcom this time, he climbed back into the sleeper and set the bag of donuts down beside Bam’s blanket covered form. After digging through his clothes he found a pair of green carpenter pants and a black t-shirt and set them next to Bam as well before leaning over and whispering in his ear.
“Wake up…” He chanced a delicate swipe of his tongue over the curve of Bam’s ear. Bam groaned and rolled onto his back, thankfully in the opposite direction of the donuts. The same smile from earlier still adorned his face. “Donut?” Ryan offered.
“Oh!” His eyes lit up and he scrambled to open the bag. “… why’d you get so many?” Bam blinked at him before drawing out a Krueller.
“I didn’t know what kind you liked…”
“Plain’s fine… but I love these…”
“What are those called?”
“Kruellers.”
“Why do you like them?”
Tearing off a chunk, Bam pressed a piece to Ryan’s lips. “Here, taste…”
Eyes latching onto Bam’s, Dunn opened his mouth and allowed the boy to press the pastry past his teeth and onto his tongue. He noticed every breath he took as Bam’s fingers grazed his lips upon their exit. Ryan chewed slowly. There was a distinct airiness to the donut. It almost tasted doughy… almost. He could understand the preference for it though. “Hmm…” Dunn mumbled softly just before swallowing. “Did I grab more than one of those?”
Bam quickly dove back into the bag and withdrew another. “Yep!” Ryan reached out for it. “Ah, ah, ah… surcharge.”
Snorting out a laugh, Dunn replied. “Surcharge?”
“Uh huh.”
“Let me guess… a kiss?”
“Nope…” Surprised, Ryan cocked his head at Bam. “Two kisses.” He replied.
Running his hand over his beard, Dunn pretended to consider it before smiling and leaning forward. Just when he was a breath away from Bam’s lips he tilted his head and pressed his mouth over the pulse point along Bam’s neck. He gently sucked the flesh between his teeth before mouthing a kiss. Wordlessly, he moved to the other side of Bam’s neck and repeated the process. When finished, Ryan snatched the donut from his hand. He was half-way done with it before the dazed expression left Bam’s face.
“Fucking cheater…”
Chest rising and falling in silent laughter, Dunn continued chewing on his Krueller; which only served to draw a rather mischievous looking glare from Bam. The look actually had his stomach turning. On one hand, it meant that the kid was definitely plotting revenge. Bad. On the other hand, said revenge could very well be in the form of groping or straddling. Good and bad points. “Hey now… you didn’t specify.”
“What you need a bill of lading?”
Ryan grinned. “Someone’s been brushing up on his trucker lingo…” He glanced over at his log book and permit binder. “Good thing that’s not a government load… else I’d have to kill you…” He teased.
Bam snorted. “Yeah, right… they’d let your haggard ass on a base…”
Laughing out loud, Dunn shook his head. “You’re probably right…”
This time pulling out a plain one, Bam inhaled another donut before speaking. “I like it though… I can’t imagine you without it.”
“I look fucking awful… I’ll tell you that much…” Silence filled the room as both men slowly ate their way through a half dozen donuts.
“So… is this the truck stop you’re letting me off at…?” Bam asked meekly.
Confusion swept over Ryan’s face momentarily before he remembered his words from days past. Closing his eyes, he shook his head. “No, Bam… I’m not going to kick you off my truck… lord knows what would happen to you… I couldn’t have that resting on my shoulders… besides…” He opened his eyes again. “You’ve kind of grown on me….”
“Thank you…” He mumbled and stared down at his lap.
“Bam?” Dunn reached out and lifted his chin. “Promise me this though… Don’t do anything or let anything happen that you don’t want… I’m not going to bullshit you… I like you. Hell, I like you a lot. But don’t let some warped sense of gratitude or some shit rule your actions… okay?” Bam blinked and him; eyelashes fluttering repeatedly. “Okay?!”
“…okay.” He pulled away from Ryan’s hand still near his chin. “Did you go to college?”
“What…” Dunn asked distractedly.
“You don’t talk like a truck driver… or like most people I know… I was just wondering…”
“Nah… I read a lot.” Ryan offered. “What about you… school…?”
Shoulders slumping, Bam looked away from him. “I dropped out about six month ago…”
“Is that when you ran away?”
“No. I’ve only been gone three weeks.”
“I know you probably don’t want to tell me much… but I am curious.”
Bam turned back to Ryan. He nibbled on his bottom lip for a second before asking, “What do you wanna know?”
“Um… let’s start off when stuff I know a little about… Why’d you drop out?”
“My friend Raab got kicked out for shitting in his locker… he was really the only reason I’d even bothered to keep going…”
Completely jumping over the image and questions that someone shitting in a locker brought up, Ryan asked. “Your parents were okay with you dropping out?”
“For a while, I was approached by a skateboard company… they’d sponsor me and I’d skate and shit wearing their logo and using their equipment…”
Dunn’s jaw fell. That was damn impressive. “What happened?”
Blinking away tears in such a fashion it was obvious he didn’t want Ryan to notice, Bam pressed his lips together nervously. “When I was talking with a lawyer or something… they went off about my personal activities not painting them in a bad light…”
“And?”
“He ended spouting off some homophobic bullshit and I walked out…”
“Fuck… you seriously make me feel like a god-damn loser, Bam.” Ryan pushed his hair out of his face. “If my fleet manager even hinted at knowing I was gay…”
“… you’d deny it.”
“Yeah. And you… you gave up… well, I don’t know what money they offered you, but you gave shit up over it.”
“Everything…” Bam brought his blanket covered knees to his chest. “Seems really stupid to have done now though…” He pinched his face with a huff. “Fuck.” All the tears he’d been holding back over the last three weeks finally hit him.
Ryan quietly climbed onto the bed next to him and rested a hand on his knee. When Bam didn’t react, he placed another hand on his shoulder. “Hey… don’t be so worried about saving face in front of me… I’m just some loser that drives a truck back and forth across the country…”
“You’re the only reason I’m probably fucking alive, Ryan!” Bam spat back angrily. His eyes were rimmed with red and very wet when he met Dunn’s gaze. “Fine, I’m not saving face in front of you… I’m crying like the fucking, pussy-ass faggot I am, okay? God-damn!”
All he could really do was nod, so that was what Ryan did… he nodded. Slowly moving his hand from Bam’s shoulder, he caressed his hair until the tears subsided. “Better?”
“No…” Bam sighed. “But thanks…”
“You’d think as often as I actually cry myself being the pussy-ass faggot that I am too… that I’d know how to deal with it better… wouldn’t ya?” The first shake of Bam’s shoulders had Dunn thinking the kid was about to let on another bout of water works. When it transformed into shaky giggling, he literally breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay… no more questions for a least ten hours… DOT regs…” He joked before pulling his hands away.
“Okay…”
“Hey… guess what?”
“What?”
“There’s a mall a few miles away… and I paid to park my trailer here for the day…”
Sniffling, Bam peeked over his knees. “Really? You’re serious?”
“Yeah… as long as I bobtail over there and don’t have to park in a parking garage… so… you wanna go?”
“Sure… you ask me after my face looks like shit…”
Dunn stood and leaned over towards a small refrigerator. He pulled out a small ice pack and crushed it against his leg. “Here…” Watching intently as Bam fell back onto the bed and draped the pack over his eyes, Ryan shifted to sit closer. “So… anything you’d be particularly embarrassed by if I wore it to the mall with you?”
“That fucking Seattle shirt… and not just because it has cum stains on it…”
Laughing, Ryan shook his head at Bam even though the boy couldn’t see him. “You wore it…”
“I didn’t have anything else to wear… my shirt smelt like I’d wiped my ass with it…”
“You could have asked for another shirt…”
Bam peeked out from behind the ice pack. “You seriously wouldn’t have gotten pissy with me about that?”
“No…”
Sitting up, Bam placed the ice pack on the bed. “You’re not kidding or exaggerating with this ‘don’t do something you don’t want to,’ are you?”
“No, Bam… I’m not… and true… a t-shirt is just a t-shirt… but I’m not your master, and I’m not your daddy… so feel free to tell me to fuck off whenever the need arises… god knows you didn’t have a problem doing it the first few hours…”
A sly grin spread across Bam’s face. “You pissed me off so bad when you first picked me up… I thought you were just being a fucktard…”
“Fucktard?”
“Fuck. Tard.” Bam emphasized and repeated.
Ryan laughed. “Man, I don’t think I’ll be able to catch on to your lingo as fast as you are mine…”
“That’s okay, gramps…”
“Fuck you!”
Finally smiling again, Bam glanced down at the pile of clothes next to him. “You sure about that not being my daddy shit…?”
Chapter 7