Such a waste of my time
Never thought I'd get distracted during a Batman movie, but damn 'The Dark Knight Returns' has some wasteland bits in it. The entire scene in the Batmobile with Carrie after Bruce gets his butt handed to him. There is no reason whatsoever for Bruce to suddenly trust this little girl. Even if she's just saved his life. And especially if she's turned up without warning wearing a Robin suit.
We hear so much about he remembers what happened to Jason. He may be trying to recapture his mojo as Batman, but it would have been far more natural for him to shove her off a couple of times or be forced into letting her tag along just to keep her safe. The way he does canonically with Jason, with Tim, with almost everybody apart from Dick. And even with Dick, I don't recall information on him jumping up and down to offer him the role of sidekick until after some internal conflict.
Clearly Tim doesn't exist in this 'verse, though I don't understand what they mean when they say he didn't keep up with Dick. Is Dick at Bludhaven? Still with the Outsiders? They have a fight? They don't speak? What? And what happens to Barbara? Does she exist? Did she never become Batgirl? Oracle doesn't work any more? The other heroes knocking around Gotham somehow thought, "Oh, Batman's retired for ten years while the city's gone to hell in a handbasket, so clearly we're not needed here any more"?
That makes no sense!
Also, the elevation of the mythology annoys me. Why the hell is there a Bat Spirit living in his cave? Why is he in the casket instead of his parents? And who the hell - and I repeat the swearing most strongly - would abandon a little boy at a viewing between the caskets with the bodies of his parents. What, he's expected to greet the mourners there? THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!
Also, also - Lana Lang!? What the hell?!? The artist couldn't figure out a better way to draw her? She opens her mouth and she's fairly awesome in her own way (okay, I'm biased with the pro-Batman schtick but then I liked the anti-Batman psychiatrist because as least he was interesting and made some logical sense because, actually, he's right!) but Lana Lang was just... why? If you're using a name belonging to a character known to be an old flame of Clark Kent's, try to show her some respect.
And Carrie. Oh God. The girl!Robin, apart from Stephanie, who Batman never actually considers a true Robin, and posts on tumblr say she was awesome. She isn't. She's just annoying.
And the Mutant Leader. He's just been arrested. And you gave him a microphone? While he was in police custody? Yeah. Totally believable. Gordon, you may be 70, and you may be days away from retirement, but even you can't be that dumb.
Speaking of which - AARGH!! THAT WHOLE SPEECH ABOUT ROOSEVELT AND PEARL HARBOUR?!??!?! THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GCPD IS THAT UNDER BATMAN AND UNDER GORDON, NO ONE IS TOO BIG TO ARREST! AND WHY THE HELL WOULD GORDON THINK BATMAN IS TOO BIG A FORCE TO ARREST! HE WORKS WITH HIM, PEOPLE, BECAUSE BATMAN GETS THE FUCKING JOB DONE AND GETS HIM EVIDENCE AND KEEPS THE VILLAINS THAT AN ORDINARY POLICE OFFICER WOULD FIND DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH OFF THE MAIN STREETS!
I don't know. Nothing about Part 1 makes me want to watch Part 2. Apparently, I am also incredibly snobby because the art was so ugly I didn't want to watch. It's like they went out of their way to highlight every 'flaw' that ordinary people have just to make it gritty and realistic, and frankly, if I wanted gritty and realistic, I wouldn't be watching BATMAN! Sometimes reality can intrude is a completely irrelevant way. This movie? Hit that nail right on the head.
We hear so much about he remembers what happened to Jason. He may be trying to recapture his mojo as Batman, but it would have been far more natural for him to shove her off a couple of times or be forced into letting her tag along just to keep her safe. The way he does canonically with Jason, with Tim, with almost everybody apart from Dick. And even with Dick, I don't recall information on him jumping up and down to offer him the role of sidekick until after some internal conflict.
Clearly Tim doesn't exist in this 'verse, though I don't understand what they mean when they say he didn't keep up with Dick. Is Dick at Bludhaven? Still with the Outsiders? They have a fight? They don't speak? What? And what happens to Barbara? Does she exist? Did she never become Batgirl? Oracle doesn't work any more? The other heroes knocking around Gotham somehow thought, "Oh, Batman's retired for ten years while the city's gone to hell in a handbasket, so clearly we're not needed here any more"?
That makes no sense!
Also, the elevation of the mythology annoys me. Why the hell is there a Bat Spirit living in his cave? Why is he in the casket instead of his parents? And who the hell - and I repeat the swearing most strongly - would abandon a little boy at a viewing between the caskets with the bodies of his parents. What, he's expected to greet the mourners there? THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!
Also, also - Lana Lang!? What the hell?!? The artist couldn't figure out a better way to draw her? She opens her mouth and she's fairly awesome in her own way (okay, I'm biased with the pro-Batman schtick but then I liked the anti-Batman psychiatrist because as least he was interesting and made some logical sense because, actually, he's right!) but Lana Lang was just... why? If you're using a name belonging to a character known to be an old flame of Clark Kent's, try to show her some respect.
And Carrie. Oh God. The girl!Robin, apart from Stephanie, who Batman never actually considers a true Robin, and posts on tumblr say she was awesome. She isn't. She's just annoying.
And the Mutant Leader. He's just been arrested. And you gave him a microphone? While he was in police custody? Yeah. Totally believable. Gordon, you may be 70, and you may be days away from retirement, but even you can't be that dumb.
Speaking of which - AARGH!! THAT WHOLE SPEECH ABOUT ROOSEVELT AND PEARL HARBOUR?!??!?! THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GCPD IS THAT UNDER BATMAN AND UNDER GORDON, NO ONE IS TOO BIG TO ARREST! AND WHY THE HELL WOULD GORDON THINK BATMAN IS TOO BIG A FORCE TO ARREST! HE WORKS WITH HIM, PEOPLE, BECAUSE BATMAN GETS THE FUCKING JOB DONE AND GETS HIM EVIDENCE AND KEEPS THE VILLAINS THAT AN ORDINARY POLICE OFFICER WOULD FIND DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH OFF THE MAIN STREETS!
I don't know. Nothing about Part 1 makes me want to watch Part 2. Apparently, I am also incredibly snobby because the art was so ugly I didn't want to watch. It's like they went out of their way to highlight every 'flaw' that ordinary people have just to make it gritty and realistic, and frankly, if I wanted gritty and realistic, I wouldn't be watching BATMAN! Sometimes reality can intrude is a completely irrelevant way. This movie? Hit that nail right on the head.