I'm gross.
I have a few TMIs for you today!
1) The other evening, I went to the restroom. I was surprised by the urge to poo, I really hadn't felt anything. But i'm under quite a bit of stress lately [changing jobs, and breaking up with my boyfriend, should anyone care] so my tummy is all weird. I could tell it was a rather impressive poop, and it took a lot of toilet paper. I wanted to see! but I didn't want to stand up, because it would get squished all between my butt cheeks. When I was done wiping, I stood, hopeful. and looked into the bowl. Only to proclaim 'Crap, I can't see shit!' I then realized my accidental pun and had a good laugh.
2) In the span of an hour yesterday morning I stepped in pee, dried until the point of being sticky, cat poop, pee still wet and luke warm, and then the sticky pee again. The cat poop is the only thing I am to blame for--My room mate wont train his dog.
3) I have a water bottle with a blue tube filled with gel that you freeze, then attach to the inside of the bottle's top to keep it cold. I used it to masturbate today, fresh out of the freezer, after a quick dunk in water. It was awesome. I had to clean the crevasses with a tooth brush! [luckily not one anyone uses!] It was covered in thick pasty ovulating-girl-goo. Once clean, I dried it, and popped it back in the freezer. No one is any the wiser.
4) I pick my nose. Lately, there is black/grey stuff! What the heck. I don't smoke, or weld, or anything! Also my allergies are making me hock up phlem a lot.
5) I have a lactose intolerance induced belly ache, which means disgusting farts. I had spinach and green beans at dinner, so I think they have contributed to the ripe heat and smell. It is also humid and hot here in the south, so I have a fan trained on me. You got it, it's blowing the fart smell right into my face. Somehow it SMELLS hot. Its absolutely foul.