I am fascinated with marketing.

From the New York Times today:

To promote Flavor Station, the Chicago office of Foote Cone & Belding Worldwide, a unit of the Interpublic Group of Companies, has created a television spot depicting people in different work situations - an office, a factory, a construction site - who eat Flavor Station chicken and ( Read more... )

As a smoker and binge drinker you don't really just "get over" colds ( Read more... )

From the New York Times:

Alive and Thriving in the Midwest: Brawling in Cages

SIOUX FALLS, S.D., July 23 - When they rewind the video of the fight in the cage, all the blood will spray back into Gervis Fool Bull's nose, all the screams will be sucked into the collective chest of the sweating crowd, and the fist will snap back toward the big truck ( Read more... )

Apparently UPS drivers refer to their largest truck lovingly as "Chocolate Thunder."

This would totally be my stage name if I ever became a professional wrestler.

A few nights ago I found myself, randomly, senselessly, in a sake bar located in the Embarcadero surrounded by people who looked like they had just snorted a bucket of cocaine, constructed a time machine, and traveled back to the late eighties for the sheer purpose of raiding my cousin's closet ( Read more... )

My new phone meows.

And not like cute little kitten getting a saucer of milk meow.

More like...cute little kitten getting ass raped by an ice cold thermometer meow.

I hate phones.

I'm covered in bruises ( Read more... )

When something bad happens, the first thing I do is avoid certain music, because I know it will be scorched into my brain and forever associated with that moment ( Read more... )

We had a meeting this week and apparently "some" of the office staff needs to be more aware of their explicit comments.

I can't help but wonder if my comment last week about wanting to skull fuck a customer with his dead grandfather's dick crossed some sort of line.

In my defense, the guy was a prick and I didn't appreciate being yelled at in ( Read more... )

At a friend's birthday dinner several months ago I met a girl who casually mentioned she once let a guy watch her masturbate for pills ( Read more... )