I know what you’re thinking. Caligula had just about every kind of debauchery known to man. Now along comes Caligula 2: The “Untold” Story. How much more of the story is left to tell ( Read more... )

You all are complaining you lost an hour because of the time change. Amateurs. I watched Blair Witch and lost ninety minutes ( Read more... )

Logan is a somber movie to begin with, but it’s made all the more poignant because it’s an opportunity to say goodbye to a friend. Yes, after seventeen years and nine X-Men films, Hugh Jackman has retired from the role that made him an international superstar. Of course, I'll believe it when I see it. Superheroes are killed off and brought back ( Read more... )

While it’s good seeing Reggie Bannister battling balls again after an eighteen year absence, the latest (and presumably final) Phantasm movie suffers from a cheap look and irritating structure. Even though Phantasms 3 and 4 were low budget Direct to Video affairs, they at least looked legit. Sure, Ravager looks better than, say a DTV Hellraiser ( Read more... )

At first, I was unsure how they were going to make this work. I mean Batman was the best part of The LEGO Movie. How can you make a whole film entirely around him? It’s like making a Happy Days spin-off about Fonzie. Sure, it sounds good on paper, but he’s really best when he’s bouncing off the other characters ( Read more... )

John Wick (Keanu Reeves), perhaps the quintessential 21st century badass, is back, killing scores more disposable henchmen in this fun sequel. This time, he is forced to come out of retirement to perform an assassination he clearly does not want to do. Since Wick’s profession has several layers of intricate laws, codes, and oaths, he is unable to ( Read more... )

Peaches (Keisha) has been having some weird sexual dreams so her mom (Tracey Adams) sends her to see Dr. Thunderpussy (Rachel Ryan). (“I saw her on the Oprah show!”) After a rough (but thorough) examination, Dr. Thunderpussy tells her there is nothing physically wrong with her. She suggests Peaches should go on a quest for spiritual ( Read more... )

A troupe of showgirls stays at a musty hotel in Malibu. They act catty and bicker with one another and before long, one of them is found strangled. The press agent tries to hush things up for the good of the show, but the girls decide to call in the great detective Charlie Chan (Sidney Toler) to solve the case. More bodies are found and it’s up ( Read more... )

The Resident Evil saga has varied wildly in terms of quality on a film-by-film basis. Heck, The Final (excuse me while I laugh uncontrollably at the notion that this will be the “final” installment) Chapter fluctuates in quality on a scene-to-scene basis. For every awesome sequence of zombie carnage, there is at least one humdrum shootout foiled ( Read more... )

Peaches (Siobhan Hunter) wants to know all about sex, but her parents aren’t much help. When her mom (Tracey Adams) catches her boyfriend (Peter North) spying on her, she forces him to have sex at knife point. Meanwhile, her dad (Herschel Savage) just tells her not to be a tease. So she goes out in the world and tries to learn as much as ( Read more... )