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I woke up this morning to a wonderful text from my best friend, my cat purring by my head, my parents in the kitchen talking quietly, my room the perfect temperature and comfy. last night i had two other friends help me ring in my birthday in my pajamas in my room.

burst into tears.

I don’t know why. I’m one of those people that think if you’re going ( Read more... )

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• 
  
  Caitlin: i will miss this tho.
  next year we'll be in college.
  
  nick: doing different shit
  thinking about what we did last year
  idk.
  someday like your mom told you
  im going to be able to tell my kids
  when i was seventeen with my best friends
  and we almost got caught by the cops on halloween night.
  
  nick: that's sad
  like it makes me sad
  jalsdkfnoidsnvgd
  
  Caitlin ( Read more... )

Honestly i thought this Halloween was going to be pretty lax, chill, and unplanned. I show up at Caitlin’s house around 6, in my Chippendale stripper costume and Jhall, Caitlin, Jerry, and Charmara were there. Sitting around eating candy, just chillin out. Jhall dancing, grinding on charmara, me and caitlin setting up the fog machine, i was pretty ( Read more... )

and what am i supposed to do now? i have built my uncertainty about the future around the comfort of always having band to turn to, to be a constant that no matter what i would have that to count on. 
and now it’s over, the wonderful “senior night”, the competitions, the uil, the idea of playoffs… boom. and that’s how your life starts all over again ( Read more... )

I saw this on my other blog today, and it hit me really hard.

I am terrified of the future, I have no idea what I really want to do, where I’m headed for college, how my life is going to be after I walk across that stage. But I know that I want to do big things.

I want to be better than all these people that I’ve watched leave to go try and succeed ( Read more... )

Wake up. It's just a day like any other. Is it? I've got plans, things to do. It's going to be a day of lasts, confusion. The emotional roller coaster started early for me, waking up and talking to my mom, talking about college, my dad, SAT scores.

It was going to be one of those days. One of those beautiful days that I can't help but try and put ( Read more... )