A TRAVESTY REVEALED!
A few days ago, on these very pages, I mentioned that a travesty was revealed to me while I was vactioning in Hawaii. This thing, was so unbelievable that it shook me to spechlessness for a few moments and caused me to have to shake my head to regain my composure.
I was sitting across from lilcolumbian at Bubba Gump's Shrimp Company in Hawaii talking about random stuff when we got on the topic of relationships and such. At that point, it was revealed, the horrid injustice was uttered. As it turns out, when The Colombian broke up with her guy, she went almost a year and a half without anyone asking her out on a date! I found this a tad shocking since almost every guy I knew at SPSU wanted to date her at one point. To quote someone whose name I won't say here, "Everyone wants to date Heather" [if for no other reason than her decided lack of craziness].
So, when I was told this, I said I would bring this horrid injustice (okay so I used that word twice, I ain't feeling very Thesaurusy tonight) to light and rectify it by any means necessary ("any means" roughly translates into "write a blog"). Therefore, I welcome you all to set aside your base fears and talk to the Colombian, the TRUE Homecoming Queen (that gigantic basketball playing Hercules-Girl that won stuffed the ballet box...with steroids). Not sure what she looks like? It DON'T MATTER! Trust me, have I ever lead you guys astray (don't answer that). Industrious people can find my myspace and subsequently the "Gate" picture to form their own opinions. The goal is to get someone down to her Hawaiin abode for a date by year's end. Should no one go, I lose the wager (that I made with myself) and have to shave my anus with a weed whacker! So, for the love of cake people, GO! Be a man for crying out loud (all of youz!).
Quotable Quote
"Got more chunk than a fresh potato salad" --Cowboy Troy
I was sitting across from lilcolumbian at Bubba Gump's Shrimp Company in Hawaii talking about random stuff when we got on the topic of relationships and such. At that point, it was revealed, the horrid injustice was uttered. As it turns out, when The Colombian broke up with her guy, she went almost a year and a half without anyone asking her out on a date! I found this a tad shocking since almost every guy I knew at SPSU wanted to date her at one point. To quote someone whose name I won't say here, "Everyone wants to date Heather" [if for no other reason than her decided lack of craziness].
So, when I was told this, I said I would bring this horrid injustice (okay so I used that word twice, I ain't feeling very Thesaurusy tonight) to light and rectify it by any means necessary ("any means" roughly translates into "write a blog"). Therefore, I welcome you all to set aside your base fears and talk to the Colombian, the TRUE Homecoming Queen (that gigantic basketball playing Hercules-Girl that won stuffed the ballet box...with steroids). Not sure what she looks like? It DON'T MATTER! Trust me, have I ever lead you guys astray (don't answer that). Industrious people can find my myspace and subsequently the "Gate" picture to form their own opinions. The goal is to get someone down to her Hawaiin abode for a date by year's end. Should no one go, I lose the wager (that I made with myself) and have to shave my anus with a weed whacker! So, for the love of cake people, GO! Be a man for crying out loud (all of youz!).
Quotable Quote
"Got more chunk than a fresh potato salad" --Cowboy Troy