Notes from the edge of adequate
Our television is dying. We got it in 1995 as a wedding present from mr_pugh 's parents. It's been twitchy for a few years now; sometimes not turning off, and needing to be unplugged. Most recently the unplugging/plugging in method resulted in the screen image shifting an inch to the top, so the picture is slightly edited. mr_pugh claims the picture is also wobbly and bent at the edges. I guess he should know; he spends more time up close to it than I do. So soon (perhaps Tuesday) we shall get a replacement. I don't like spending money, but I figure if I pay $500 for a tv it comes out to less than 68 cents for every hour I watch it (based on an average 2 hours/evening estimate), even if it lasts only a year (and I better get many many years out of it or I shall be pissed).
I'm trying to juggle my finances with an eye toward the student loan interest relief applications which now begin to loom. I'd love to have these monkeys off my back but my expenses have been such that I haven't made any payments on them since November.
I'm waiting to hear about the UofT job and the three grants I applied for back in October. To pass the time I'm trying to get stuff done and stay busy. I've sent in my proposals for the AAR regional conference in Ottawa in May and I'm working on my speech for February. I'm also writing a short article for a friend I met at the AAR in Montreal. The question is "Who is G/god and how do we know?" She's calling it her igod series. It should be interesting. I'm thinking of dropping a shift at work so I have more time to write and work on advancing my career profile. Giving up money feels so wrong My anxiety about being lazy conflicts with my desire to do more work. Ack!
I'm trying to dress up more. One of the books I've read about advancing career-wise said I should dress for the job I want, not the job I have. So I'm wearing more of my business drag. Today I'm wearing my H&M dress pants, black cashmere sweater and in place of a sweater I brought my blazer. After work I'm going to a market research session where I'll answer questions about CHUM FM. My clothes will make me look like a typical office drone. The money will help pay for the television.
After a week of pigging out on crap I'm re-orienting myself to the healthy diet I feel better about eating. It's like I have a fear of hitting my goals regarding my body. As soon as I pass a milestone I want to eat chips for a week. I suspect that I fear getting thinner for some reason. On Tuesday I'll do some grocery shopping and make sure I have proper food in the house. I've discovered some new recipies I like (like chickpea salad) and am definitely looking forward to making them in bulk for lunches at work.
I'm also looking to expand my music collection. I added 50 songs recently, which is a lot, and they span the genres from (gasp!) country (small C) through pop to metal. I've been mining my previous metal preferences (ask me about how metal music and hard rock is a class-based fantasy) and found some good Motley Crue. While metal and hard rock in general is an interesting exercise in male-identification, and the music is easily queered, it isn't always as free from sexism as I'd like. Although Same Old Situation takes a surprisingly positive stance on same-sex marriage that is simultaneously tinged with cynicism about the institution, it also has more than a light dusting of condescending tolerance, my least favourite flavour of tolerance. Surfing around I found a site dedicated to people talking about queer metal. I'd like to explore that some more. I'd also love to find some queer hiphop; something that's as political as Public Enemy without sacrificing the musical quality. Recommendations are welcome.
I'm totally in love with the responses I've had to my fanfiction. It's such an exhilarating feeling. I suspect this will not be my only foray into the genre. Also, my favourite writer, regann , may be writing another chapter in a series I've enjoyed very much, so I'm looking forward to that. Her writing has literally (no pun intended) changed my sexuality in significant ways. I'm surprised by the longevity of my attraction to this fictional character, and also concerned about what I'll do when it finally wanes. There have been so many other crushes, and when they burn out they seem to be stone cold. Even Christopher Walken, who was driving me mad to a fever pitch or several months, is now just another actor, albeit one for whom I have a special fondness. In a related note, I suspect that my sexual peak has arrived, as I seem to be entering a phase of sexual interest I haven't experienced since grade 9. Lock up your attractive loved ones and fictional characters. It will be interesting to see what this phase feels like now that I also have self-esteem.
I'm trying to juggle my finances with an eye toward the student loan interest relief applications which now begin to loom. I'd love to have these monkeys off my back but my expenses have been such that I haven't made any payments on them since November.
I'm waiting to hear about the UofT job and the three grants I applied for back in October. To pass the time I'm trying to get stuff done and stay busy. I've sent in my proposals for the AAR regional conference in Ottawa in May and I'm working on my speech for February. I'm also writing a short article for a friend I met at the AAR in Montreal. The question is "Who is G/god and how do we know?" She's calling it her igod series. It should be interesting. I'm thinking of dropping a shift at work so I have more time to write and work on advancing my career profile. Giving up money feels so wrong My anxiety about being lazy conflicts with my desire to do more work. Ack!
I'm trying to dress up more. One of the books I've read about advancing career-wise said I should dress for the job I want, not the job I have. So I'm wearing more of my business drag. Today I'm wearing my H&M dress pants, black cashmere sweater and in place of a sweater I brought my blazer. After work I'm going to a market research session where I'll answer questions about CHUM FM. My clothes will make me look like a typical office drone. The money will help pay for the television.
After a week of pigging out on crap I'm re-orienting myself to the healthy diet I feel better about eating. It's like I have a fear of hitting my goals regarding my body. As soon as I pass a milestone I want to eat chips for a week. I suspect that I fear getting thinner for some reason. On Tuesday I'll do some grocery shopping and make sure I have proper food in the house. I've discovered some new recipies I like (like chickpea salad) and am definitely looking forward to making them in bulk for lunches at work.
I'm also looking to expand my music collection. I added 50 songs recently, which is a lot, and they span the genres from (gasp!) country (small C) through pop to metal. I've been mining my previous metal preferences (ask me about how metal music and hard rock is a class-based fantasy) and found some good Motley Crue. While metal and hard rock in general is an interesting exercise in male-identification, and the music is easily queered, it isn't always as free from sexism as I'd like. Although Same Old Situation takes a surprisingly positive stance on same-sex marriage that is simultaneously tinged with cynicism about the institution, it also has more than a light dusting of condescending tolerance, my least favourite flavour of tolerance. Surfing around I found a site dedicated to people talking about queer metal. I'd like to explore that some more. I'd also love to find some queer hiphop; something that's as political as Public Enemy without sacrificing the musical quality. Recommendations are welcome.
I'm totally in love with the responses I've had to my fanfiction. It's such an exhilarating feeling. I suspect this will not be my only foray into the genre. Also, my favourite writer, regann , may be writing another chapter in a series I've enjoyed very much, so I'm looking forward to that. Her writing has literally (no pun intended) changed my sexuality in significant ways. I'm surprised by the longevity of my attraction to this fictional character, and also concerned about what I'll do when it finally wanes. There have been so many other crushes, and when they burn out they seem to be stone cold. Even Christopher Walken, who was driving me mad to a fever pitch or several months, is now just another actor, albeit one for whom I have a special fondness. In a related note, I suspect that my sexual peak has arrived, as I seem to be entering a phase of sexual interest I haven't experienced since grade 9. Lock up your attractive loved ones and fictional characters. It will be interesting to see what this phase feels like now that I also have self-esteem.