(To the tune of “We Didn’t Start the Fire…” by Billy Joel)

Celedras, Arcangalad

Arshan’s always kinda mad

I haven’t played you for a while

Obsidian kills her foes with style

Maedhroc gives his foes the boot

Elsa’s tough but awfully cute

1E rules are dumb and hard

but they made my super-bard

(Singin’)

Referees don’t get to play much
We get all ( Read more... )

“Hymn to Breaking Strain” by Julia Ecklar and Leslie Fish

Click to view

The careful textbooks measure: “Let all who build beware!

The load, the shock, the pressure material can bear.”

So when the buckled girder lets down the grinding span

The blame of loss or murder, is laid upon the man

Not on the steel- the man!

But in our daily dealing with stone and steel ( Read more... )

(To the tune of "16 Tons" by Tennessee Ernie Ford...)You blow 16 tons of junk out your nose ( Read more... )

(to a country-western twang)

I want to write a story, I want to write a tale
I want to see it published and get checks in the mail
I wanna be the hottest thing that you have ever seen
but all that I am doing, is staring at the screen!

I’ve got a case of writer’s block, as you can plainly see
I had it something awful now, since 2000-and-3!
I’ve got ( Read more... )

(to the tune of ‘Holly Jolly Christmas’)

Have an introverted Christmas
with a small group of your friends
And then sigh with deep relief
when it finally ends

Have an introverted Christmas
but don’t make too much fuss
We won’t force you to put on smiles
there’s no-one here but us

Ho, ho, the mistletoe
Hung where you can see
and know how far to stay ( Read more... )

You’re a hoser, Mister Grinch
you’re a total spazoid dork
you’re just completely bogus
and your parentage is borked, Mister Grinch
You’re a salmonella salad made with…
under-cooked pork!

You’re overly sensitive, Mister Grinch
constructive criticism makes you mad
You take it all so personal
it’s really rather sad, Mister Grinch
You just keep looking ( Read more... )

You’re a butthead, Mister Grinch
You really are a dink
You have no social graces
And your breath quite frankly stinks, Mister Grinch
You have got to be the…
mother of all finks

You’re obnoxious, Mister Grinch
You’re an unappealing pratt
and the worst thing I can say is
that you still think you’re all that, Mister Grinch
If there was any justice, a ( Read more... )

(To the tune of “The Beverly Hillbillies”)…

Lemme tellee little story ’bout a man named Nahum [1]
he lived west o’ Arkham and never did any harm [2]
Then one day a hill exploded in his face
and Nahum had to cope with a colour outa space!

(An alien that is. Amorphous. Intangible.)

Well the first thing you know, ol’ Nahum’s lookin’ spare
his kinfolk ( Read more... )

I’ve created a new “Risk a Verse” section for the website, for those masochistic souls who’d like to read my various poems, filks, and such strangeness. A poem about jackalopes? It’s in there. Filk about D&D? It’s in there. Sword and sorcery microfiction in rhyming couplets? It’s in there! As of this morning it’s all reposts, but some are pretty ( Read more... )

o/`
In the middle of the Earth
in the land of the Shire
was born a scrappy little hobbit
who had a heart of fire
With a long pointy stick
and an aggro-grabbin’ yell
he gives The Boot to his enemies
and sends ‘em straight to hell, Oh!

Maedhroc!
Maedhroc Thornhollow!
Only three feet tall!
Maedhroc!
Maedhroc Thornhollow!
The most butt-kickin’ hobbit of ( Read more... )