The Writer’s Block Hoedown
(to a country-western twang)
I want to write a story, I want to write a tale
I want to see it published and get checks in the mail
I wanna be the hottest thing that you have ever seen
but all that I am doing, is staring at the screen!
I’ve got a case of writer’s block, as you can plainly see
I had it something awful now, since 2000-and-3!
I’ve got character and setting, but I haven’t got a shot
’cause all these things are useless if I haven’t got a plot
Nothing happens!
Nothing happens!
Nothing happens in my tale
Nothing happens!
Nothing happens!
My story is a fail
Perhaps I try a bit too hard, perhaps I should relax
perhaps I oughta just write down a tale based on the facts
Just give your guy a problem, the writing coaches say
then figure out how his quirks will help him save the day
But nothing happens!
Nothing happens!
Nothing happens in my tale
Nothing happens!
Nothing happens!
My story is a fail
It’s causing me some anguish, my lame attempts at art
you can’t ever finish, what you never start
But your muse will never flourish, when threatened by a gun
so I’m gonna write a filk about it, and then call it done
’cause nothing happens!
Nothing happens!
Nothing happens in my tale
Nothing happens!
Nothing happens!
My story is a fail!
-The Gneech
Originally published at gneech.com. You can comment here or there.