The War of the Ring was an inside Job:

[underlankers]

It has come to the attention of the Neo-Orc League in these, the days of Eldarion King of Gondor, that the War of the Ring, so-called, was nothing but an inside job aimed at an illegal coup against the line of Stewards to usurp the rightful order of Gondor. We have proof of this from not only the College of One Drunk One-Eyed Man At the Pub, but

Comments

[a_new_machine]

You gotta go one deeper, man. Who did we "fight" in the so-called War? Sauron. But who's Sauron? He's a Maia! And, the real kicker: who'd they send to defeat Sauron? ANOTHER MAIA!

The truth is that the Powers in the West were scared that Sauron would enlighten us primitive humans and give us secret powers known only to the Undying, maybe even let us finally beat death. They knew all of that, and every time something like that happened - Orome, in particular - it brought them nothing but a world of shit. I mean, they had to cast out the folks Orome brought back to Valinor! And who got stuck with the war-happy exiles? Oh, right, the Latecomers, the Visitors, the Edain. If Sauron taught us, we'd become just as unruly as the Noldor! So they obviously couldn't have that, so they sent one of their own to install a puppet government that would keep us subservient to Valinor, which isn't even a real place! Seriously, they claim to rule from some mystical "Straight Path" (obvious anti-gay propaganda, even after they basically made gays the hero of the Red Book - shows their inherent inconsistency). Valinor is in Harad, which is why we're told it's fully of ungovernable savages - to keep us from exploring and sullying their "Undying Lands" (which really just means they're racist against those with the Gift of Death).

WAKE UP

[dwer]

this is where my inability to get through the Simarillion without falling asleep hurts me.

[a_new_machine]

That's why it was written that way, to keep you from knowing the truth! Again, WAKE UP

No seriously wake up, you're drooling.

[underlankers]

Don't feel bad about that. I can read some really, really dry history books (albeit even then *I* fall asleep reading some of them) but it took me three tries to read the Silmarillion all the way through and five to finally have it click.

[dexeron]

Seriously. It took me multiple attempts. Definately was worth it, but man, what a slog.

I bought "The Children of Hurin", but I'm kind of afraid to start it. Not sure if it's going to be as dry.

[underlankers]

That would certainly explain what happened to Ar-Pharazon the Golden and Earendil.

[a_new_machine]

They say he's a star now, but I don't buy that. Earendil just went to Harad and got silenced. They needed to cover up how they stole the Silmaril, so they just threw up a spotlight and told us it was a great human hero who saved us all. Yeah, right.

[underlankers]

Not to mention the genocide of the Petty-Dwarves and the whole lies on the part of the Elves that they were betrayed by Men and this is why their Battle of Unnumbered Tears happened. I suppose it made more sense to look for a stab in the back than to admit that in going to war against a Vala they were going to lose always and forever.

[a_new_machine]

Really, the Noldor were just pissed when they came back and saw Men occupying Middle-Earth. When they discovered they couldn't defeat us, they tried to prod our glorious benefactor Melkor the Magnificent into doing it. It's really sad when you think of a guy like Beor, who even gave up his name to take on a Sindarin word meaning "servant," just so he could worship at the feet of his oppressors.

And that's why worship of the one true religion -- the Endless Dark -- is so vigorously suppressed.

[underlankers]

Yep. To the Giver of Freedom is the Song of Ice and Fire, the raging flame of the Bragollach and the deep frosts of Thangorodrim. The myths record that even the Gods fled from human armies, if we take the Alkallabeth for truth, but even if we don't..........

[dexeron]

They don't want us to know what's REALLY behind the Doors of Night.

[underlankers]

I betcha that we'd find out that behind the Doors of Night was a civilization of great and awesome power, reliant on vast, cyclopean buildings reliant on non-Euclidean architecture, and having a great policy of traditional family values....