The War of the Ring was an inside Job:
It has come to the attention of the Neo-Orc League in these, the days of Eldarion King of Gondor, that the War of the Ring, so-called, was nothing but an inside job aimed at an illegal coup against the line of Stewards to usurp the rightful order of Gondor. We have proof of this from not only the College of One Drunk One-Eyed Man At the Pub, but from the clearly altered stories of the so-called 'rightful' dynasty. There were no Orcs leading a giant battering ram at the gates of Minas Tirith, it was all the phantoms of that strange wizard Mithrandir and his scheming. Mithrandir, or as we calls 'em, Odin, was a fickle scheming no-goodnik who had no respect for the freedom of choice regular humans exercised.
The controversy is deeper still, there are stories that King Elessar himself used the seeing stones of this 'Sauron' to orchestrate ties with that 'menace' that supposedly lived in Mordor. Perhaps Mordor itself was nothing but a relic of 'Numenor' intent on harrassing honest, God-fearing Gondorians who respected democracy like regular, everyday folk.
Can't you people see what the truth is, or do I have to get off my duff and show you in graphic detail? We must teach the controversy! No War of the Ring, as there was never a One Ring, and stories of hairy-footed dwarfs are in any rate a slander against the noble people of the North.
The War of the Ring was an inside job, my friends, and only those who refuse to accept the obvious truth cannot see this, all others are part of The ConspiracyTM to prop up Gondorian Imperialism against poor, third-world areas like the Far Harad and the Easterlings.
The controversy is deeper still, there are stories that King Elessar himself used the seeing stones of this 'Sauron' to orchestrate ties with that 'menace' that supposedly lived in Mordor. Perhaps Mordor itself was nothing but a relic of 'Numenor' intent on harrassing honest, God-fearing Gondorians who respected democracy like regular, everyday folk.
Can't you people see what the truth is, or do I have to get off my duff and show you in graphic detail? We must teach the controversy! No War of the Ring, as there was never a One Ring, and stories of hairy-footed dwarfs are in any rate a slander against the noble people of the North.
The War of the Ring was an inside job, my friends, and only those who refuse to accept the obvious truth cannot see this, all others are part of The ConspiracyTM to prop up Gondorian Imperialism against poor, third-world areas like the Far Harad and the Easterlings.