The War of the Ring was an inside Job:

[underlankers]

It has come to the attention of the Neo-Orc League in these, the days of Eldarion King of Gondor, that the War of the Ring, so-called, was nothing but an inside job aimed at an illegal coup against the line of Stewards to usurp the rightful order of Gondor. We have proof of this from not only the College of One Drunk One-Eyed Man At the Pub, but

Comments

[mahnmut]

Wehey, what an elaborate rebuttal to the rebuttal of the re-rebuttal!

Can we have a re-re-re-buttal?

(Blarrrgh! Too many butts!)

[underlankers]

I like big butts and I cannot lie. ;)

[root_fu]

You think this is a rebuttal?

Interesting.

[mahnmut]

The even more interesting thing is that you think I'm being serious.

[dwer]

haha! And what about the use of child labor? Everyone knows Frodo and Bilbo are children's nicknames!

[underlankers]

Exactly. And then there's this business of allying with the Wicked Witch of the Golden Woods.....

[dwer]

Plus, there's more than a hint of racism. Is it Shelob's fault that she has eight legs? I think not.

[dexeron]

AND WHY DID TOLKEIN CHANGE THEIR NAMES, HM? I have sources that show that the real names of these so-called "Hobbits" were Billba and Maura Labingi. WHAT IS TOLKEIN TRYING TO HIDE?!?

[chron_job]

Apologize for the poor quality and... you know... the trolls... but it's the only internet copy of the content I could find, and its appropo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lH0mCbBF0q8#t=0m25s

[abomvubuso]

[a_new_machine]

You gotta go one deeper, man. Who did we "fight" in the so-called War? Sauron. But who's Sauron? He's a Maia! And, the real kicker: who'd they send to defeat Sauron? ANOTHER MAIA!

The truth is that the Powers in the West were scared that Sauron would enlighten us primitive humans and give us secret powers known only to the Undying, maybe even let us finally beat death. They knew all of that, and every time something like that happened - Orome, in particular - it brought them nothing but a world of shit. I mean, they had to cast out the folks Orome brought back to Valinor! And who got stuck with the war-happy exiles? Oh, right, the Latecomers, the Visitors, the Edain. If Sauron taught us, we'd become just as unruly as the Noldor! So they obviously couldn't have that, so they sent one of their own to install a puppet government that would keep us subservient to Valinor, which isn't even a real place! Seriously, they claim to rule from some mystical "Straight Path" (obvious anti-gay propaganda, even after they basically made gays the

[dwer]

this is where my inability to get through the Simarillion without falling asleep hurts me.

[a_new_machine]

That's why it was written that way, to keep you from knowing the truth! Again, WAKE UP

No seriously wake up, you're drooling.

[underlankers]

Don't feel bad about that. I can read some really, really dry history books (albeit even then *I* fall asleep reading some of them) but it took me three tries to read the Silmarillion all the way through and five to finally have it click.