Update - Broken Neck & Back Dec. 19 2011
Well, I got a job.
At Michael's.
As a florist, actually being able to SIT. And create things.
it was the BEST retail job I've had.
and I found something out.
The ONLY thing that kept me going in; was the fact that I was creating ART. That I was not only creating something with my hands, but DOING A R T.
I realized that even if I'm not making enough to live; or live well enough to pay all my bills; as long as I can do art; something I enjoy ding then it's totally WORTH IT.
And it's TRUE NO ONE gets to do what they WANT to do for a living.
NO ONE.
My Dad didn't get to. And he was in HELL his whole life. >X-P!
But I wanted to since I was young.
So if I can do THIS, then it's TOTALLY WORTH IT.
As long as I can actually NOT be homeless, and starving on the street from it.
On another note; this job injured my shoulder.
In an attempt to fix it I went to a chiropractor.
Who broke my back, and neck >X-[]!!!!
It's been healing for the last THREE MONTHS.
the quack lost me my job, and NEARLY KILLED ME. TWICE OVER.
So I've been FLAT on my back, for the past THREE MONTHS about, HEALING.
Unable to even SIT, much less type at a computer. :-(!!!!!
That Chiropractor cost me my JOB, my INCOME; my ONLY CHANCE to get out of the house.
I can't even ride around in a car, and haven't been able to for a LONG time now. :-(!!!!!
This shit stopped me from driving my RUINING me :-(!!!!! *WEEPS!>X-[]!*
...
...
...
*Sigh!*
So yeah.
I've been praying my ass off.
Infact because of this last summer I've been praying my ass off.
So for the past ... since May about? or at least June or July; very much July. :-)
So I've been praying for a husband; to ease my suffering, and care for me medically and financially.
Friends; not much; at all; but I have been praying for this.
And, as before, a JOB; now more then ever before; AT HOME.
HOME.
So my brother has been getting paid, for advertising on his website.
...
So far he has EVERYTHING I have been praying for.
Since I was YOUNG.
EVERYTHING.
So I've been praying for MONEY, and MEDICAL INSURANCE Especially.
CONSTANTLY actually.
...
So far no answers.
...
Well, a sort of answer.
I got the job.
But that didn't last long.
At all.
Through "injury" that nearly killed me.
And I was praying for all my medical problems looked into.
And that's FINALLY happening. But at the cost of my SPINE and NECK! AND EVEN ABILITY TO
GET
OUT
OF
BED!
...
So yeah.
So far in my life, in order to gain one thing that I NEED BADLY; I MUST give up something of equal or greater value.
I don't know why this is.
My Mom says that Jesus Christ doesn't work this way.
But he CLEARLY DOES.
The ONLY other way that I get what I'm NEEDING, is; I get it WHEN I DON'T NEED IT ANY LONGER. It's ENTIRELY WORTHLESS to me.
ENTIRELY.
In EVERY WAY.
And I DON'T want it anymore.
So it's ENTIRELY WORTHLESS and UNWANTED BY ME.
THEN I get it in PRISTINE SPADES!
*shakes head!*
And the worst thing of all.
I'm more then SURE of this one.
IF I ever get a husband, it'll be AFTER my Mom and Dad die.
...
That's the WORST thing in the WORLD!
...
And another thing.
I've been told that I'm going to be homeless.
But Jesus assured me that, "I'll be with you" or "He'll be with me" when this happens.
*blink! blink!*
FUCK!
That's BAD!
It doesn't matter if Jesus is with you, Homeless is Homeless!
*shakes head!*
...
So yeah.
I guess there's nothing else to say then ... here.
...
Other then watch out.
Here comes the rest of my life.
:-(!!!!!
And the worst part, I can't save myself.
And the ONLY person who gives a SHIT about me, my Mom can't save me either. :-(!!!!!
I sure as hell wish Jesus was real.
to bad he ain't.