If you venture into the polyamory community for long enough, eventually you will encounter someone who says "Polyamory is good because no one person can meet all of your needs. With poly, I can find different people who meet different needs, and so be happier
(
Read more... )
Comments 40
This... is...
This is so fucking brilliant I... have no words.
Reply
Reply
Better to buy a new toaster and rant at our friends about how every one of our toasters has burst into the flames if we forget to empty the crumb tray.
Reply
Reply
I don't see it as a fine line, but that's because expectation management and boundaries are a huge focus for me. I agree with you if you are addressing a societal norm, but I think that is an indication of where the problem lies.
I like what you said, and don't actually disagree with what you said, it's just that this ought not be a "fine line". We should be writing it bold and painting it in bright colors so that children understand it, as part of normal social development. I do see this discussed in other contexts but I don't see it discussed within the context of romantic relationships. Who teaches that? Schools? Nope. Parents? Well, ideally. So it's the media.
I guess that means we need Joss Whedon to write more stuff.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
I do have needs¹, but it's up to me to find a situation in which they're being met. It's not something I parcel up into little chunks of responsibility for other people.
Actually, as it happens, I am lucky enough to have people who want to meet my various needs and conveniently I also want to help meet theirs. That's because we're human beings, not just selfish need-machines. There is a difference between what we want or are prepared to give and what we are expected to give, but I don't think it nullifies the (admittedly badly worded) "No single person can meet all of my needs," line of reasoning ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Indeed. That is, I think, very, very true. It's difficult to go about interacting with other people in a reasonable way and negotiating to have your needs met when you're too ashamed to talk about them in the first place.
Reply
Leave a comment