Betrayed Revenge Chapter 4
I couldn't resist pressing on. I probably wouldn't have stopped at the end of Chapter 3 had I realised which chapter this was. It's not very long anyway.
When I was doing my YouTube reading of My Immortal (Chapter 31 soon, I promise), I commented in passing that "B'loody Mary Smith" was the second third most OOC Hermione I'd ever seen, because at least Tara didn't make her a Death Eater. We're about to meet the first second, because Jaiden Lee Malfoy does. (ETA: the first.)
Jaiden-Sue wakes up from her nightmare on the Featureless Plain of Disembodied Dialogue.
" Ron's back! "
" What? " Hermione said, " Jaiden we've already went through this
We did, didn't we?
" Good, I'll owl or floo St. Mungo's to get you an appointment, "
In Dark Secrets, he'd have phoned Jaidenville General. I guess some progress is better than none.
Jaiden groaned at this, jumping up wrapping her legs around him, still connected at the lips, Draco groaned in almost protest as she brushed against him, walking he carried her into their bedroom and closed the door.
Fade to black. There doesn't seem to exist an adults-only version of Betrayed Revenge like there is of Dark Secrets, so no lolling at badly-written and totally incongruous sex scenes this time.
" Damn they're really going at it, " Harry complimented a few hours later.
No, they aren't. Not a few hours later. Not unless Draco has popped some of Harry's wizard Viagra.
" Hey that's not true… " Harry defended
The author has caught the Deserving dialogue tags bug.
" Hey it's not my fault, we just have more 'desire for pleasurable experiences' "
" Men, what is with them always having sex on the brain? " Hermione said exasperatedly getting and going to their room upstairs
Gender stereotyping FTW!
" I can't stand this anymore, " She told him.
" C-can't stand what anymore? " He asked.
" Not being true to my heart, " She told him in reply.
" Wh-what do you mean not being true to your heart? "
" I still have feelings for Ron, " She told him quietly.
Take that, Harmonians!
" Whoa you mean you still have feelings for that traitor "
" Maybe… "
" Maybe my ass you do… how could you after what he did to me, to Draco, and to Jaiden? "
" Well I don't blame him, she was cheating on him with Draco and he got what he deserved… and you always getting into his business, "
I'm torn between the unfortunate implications of claiming that Jaiden-Sue deserved her treatment for cheating on Ron, and my personal glee at seeing her suffer because she's such an awful character.
" He was a Death Eater! " Harry yelled at her, " How can you still like him for that huh? "
" Maybe being a Death Eater isn't so bad… " Hermione said.
Here it comes.
" What exactly are you trying to say? " Harry asked.
" What do you think I'm saying? "
" Are you telling me that you want to join Voldemort? "
" So what if I am? " Hermione said to him.
" I can't believe you, " Harry shouted at her, " I can't F-cking believe you, "
What is this, Wheel of Fortune? Can I solve, please?
" Got a problem with that Harry? " Hermione sneered at him
Harry just stared at her, her whole attitude had changed, it was like someone pulled a dark shadow over her.
" How could you? " Harry asked her.
" It was very easy actually, " She told him, then the next second she disapperated.
I really hope I don't have to explain why Hermione is probably the last character in the entire Potterverse who'd become a Death Eater. It's just wrong on so many levels.
Continued...
When I was doing my YouTube reading of My Immortal (Chapter 31 soon, I promise), I commented in passing that "B'loody Mary Smith" was the second third most OOC Hermione I'd ever seen, because at least Tara didn't make her a Death Eater. We're about to meet the first second, because Jaiden Lee Malfoy does. (ETA: the first.)
Jaiden-Sue wakes up from her nightmare on the Featureless Plain of Disembodied Dialogue.
" Ron's back! "
" What? " Hermione said, " Jaiden we've already went through this
We did, didn't we?
" Good, I'll owl or floo St. Mungo's to get you an appointment, "
In Dark Secrets, he'd have phoned Jaidenville General. I guess some progress is better than none.
Jaiden groaned at this, jumping up wrapping her legs around him, still connected at the lips, Draco groaned in almost protest as she brushed against him, walking he carried her into their bedroom and closed the door.
Fade to black. There doesn't seem to exist an adults-only version of Betrayed Revenge like there is of Dark Secrets, so no lolling at badly-written and totally incongruous sex scenes this time.
" Damn they're really going at it, " Harry complimented a few hours later.
No, they aren't. Not a few hours later. Not unless Draco has popped some of Harry's wizard Viagra.
" Hey that's not true… " Harry defended
The author has caught the Deserving dialogue tags bug.
" Hey it's not my fault, we just have more 'desire for pleasurable experiences' "
" Men, what is with them always having sex on the brain? " Hermione said exasperatedly getting and going to their room upstairs
Gender stereotyping FTW!
" I can't stand this anymore, " She told him.
" C-can't stand what anymore? " He asked.
" Not being true to my heart, " She told him in reply.
" Wh-what do you mean not being true to your heart? "
" I still have feelings for Ron, " She told him quietly.
Take that, Harmonians!
" Whoa you mean you still have feelings for that traitor "
" Maybe… "
" Maybe my ass you do… how could you after what he did to me, to Draco, and to Jaiden? "
" Well I don't blame him, she was cheating on him with Draco and he got what he deserved… and you always getting into his business, "
I'm torn between the unfortunate implications of claiming that Jaiden-Sue deserved her treatment for cheating on Ron, and my personal glee at seeing her suffer because she's such an awful character.
" He was a Death Eater! " Harry yelled at her, " How can you still like him for that huh? "
" Maybe being a Death Eater isn't so bad… " Hermione said.
Here it comes.
" What exactly are you trying to say? " Harry asked.
" What do you think I'm saying? "
" Are you telling me that you want to join Voldemort? "
" So what if I am? " Hermione said to him.
" I can't believe you, " Harry shouted at her, " I can't F-cking believe you, "
What is this, Wheel of Fortune? Can I solve, please?
" Got a problem with that Harry? " Hermione sneered at him
Harry just stared at her, her whole attitude had changed, it was like someone pulled a dark shadow over her.
" How could you? " Harry asked her.
" It was very easy actually, " She told him, then the next second she disapperated.
I really hope I don't have to explain why Hermione is probably the last character in the entire Potterverse who'd become a Death Eater. It's just wrong on so many levels.
Continued...