Deserving Chapter 2
Another NSFW update here.
Harry guided Severus to the floos that were located in the middle of the lobby. Severus felt self conscious about walking through the main floor of the Ministry of Magic wearing such a short robe. He was almost sure that he still had dry blood streaks running down his legs. The healer that had examined him to make sure he was pregnant had not bothered with healing nor cleansing spells.
Nobody noticed, of course. The fact that the extent of the angst-fodder abuse heaped upon the "Marked Ones" is supposed to be a secret is kind of contradicted, of course, by the apparent fact that the Ministry sent people into the Department of Buggery to tell them to keep the racket down. What exactly did they think was going on in there?
“Very well, first, you will try to speak as little as possible and will always refer to me as Mr. Potter or Sir. You will thank me for my time and effort by kissing my hand and verbally thanking me. Second, once you have given birth to my child you will be out in the street. Do not worry; I will try to ‘guide’ you as much as possible in your carrying months. Although you and I know that you are beyond hope. I will also give you the opportunity to make some money. I wouldn’t want you crying to the Prophet that I have put the father of my child out in the cold.
Strictly speaking Snape is the mother of Harry's child. I'll give this a partial pass because it's nigh impossible to discuss mpreg without screwing the English language in some way.
Therefore, you will whore yourself while you are here.”
Harry doesn't actually whore Snape out, which would work as a source of pathos. If, of course, it didn't involve Harry and Snape. All that happens is he lives with him, shags him and gives him money. In other words, it's a relationship.
Also, I'm not seeing Harry being quite so verbose.
“Yes, Snape, yet again you have cost me a love one. Ginny has dumped me
First he blames Snape for Sirius' death when he had absolutely nothing to do with it, now he's blaming him for his own stupidity in turning his back on Ginny. Deserving!Harry really is a tosser. Not to mention a complete idiot.
“I say three sickles and twenty knuts for fellatio, one sickle and ten knuts for a hand job and eight sickles and fifteen knuts for penetration.
So that's 2.74 handjobs to a BJ and 2.31 BJs to a shag. Good to know. Who uses "fellatio" and "penetration" in everyday conversation anyway? The inclusion of "handjob" amid such formality lends the proceedings a certain Sophisticated as Hell (warning: TVTropes link!) quality.
two penetrations will earn you a galleon.
And a Knut to spare!
“How much do I owe you?” he asked looking straight into Snape’s eyes. Severus lowered his eyes in response.
“Are you going to make me repeat my question?”
“Eight sickles and fifteen knuts,” was the short and to the point response.
“And why do I owe you this money?” prodded Potter.
“For penetration,” answered the tall man without raising his gaze from the floor.
Eight Sickles and fifteen Knuts for a shag. We get it. This chapter brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
“He can be taught,” scorned Harry, “Here,” he said throwing the coins on the floor, “Now make your self scarce. I am sick of looking at your hideous face.”
Again, Harry, that's nobody's fault but your own. You're the one who brought him into your house.
“Thank you; it is Kreacher; isn’t it?”
The elf simply nodded.
Meet Kreacher, the most well-adjusted character in this fic. Take as long as you need for the implications of that statement to sink in.
When he lay down he immediately knew what the magic was used for because he was laying on the most comfortable floor he had ever rested on. It was not too soft. It had the right consistency of firmness that he enjoyed in his own bed.
In which he woke up. It had all been a terrible nightmare. The End.
Sadly not. He takes breakfast, where Harry is an OOC pompous motormouth again, then putters around trying to help Kreacher and drinks some "lemon aide". I wouldn't put it past this writer to ship Snape/Kreacher.
Anyway, Snape decides to unwind with a book and gets hexed for his trouble:
He immediately felt the weight of his mistake. His arm was in pain. It instantly curled up against his body giving him the look of a lame dog. Try as he might he could not straighten his arm. His hand would not leave his torso but for an inch or two and his hand was flap and non-responsive.
One can't help but wonder what's in Harry's books to justify a security system that would put the Restricted Section to shame.
“So I see you believe to have free access to what is not yours. What was it? My wine, my wizarding chess game, oh no let me guess; my books,” he said with a knowing smirk.
Why does a wizard talking to another wizard within the wizarding world have to specify that he's referring to wizard chess? It should be obvious from context. And why, I have to ask again, is Harry a smug pompous jackass in this fic?
Life as a spy had taught him never to stick out his wand hand. It was always to be ready with wand at hand to defend self or those in need of defending. He had grabbed the book with his left hand so he still had the use of his stronger appendage.
Admit it. When you see the word "appendage" in an Uber-Pit fic, your mind goes there.
I am not you Snape; I am fair with my punishment.
BURN!
Anyway, Harry lifts the curse after Snape asks for forgiveness and the entire episode is never mentioned again nor has any lasting consequences, because continuity is evil.
“Are you any good at giving blow jobs?” he asked out of the blue.
Out of the blue is right. WTF?
“I have never done it before, Sir,” he answered looking at his lap but making sure his words were loud and clear.
Harry snorted. “A death eater that has never given a blow job.
What? Death Eaters don't spend their time having wild orgies! My Immortal isn't canon!
Oh wait, you might be telling the truth, you were after all Voldemort’s right hand man. Yes, you would be the one forcing your victims to pleasure you…”
Strangely enough, I think Voldemort would think twice about having a right-hand man who aspires to a Darwin Award. Because really, if you go round sticking your dick in the mouth of someone who doesn't want a dick there you might as well be saying "well, I didn't need that anyway".
“No,” he said extending the o,
He undid the button and zipper and found that this was of no use in liberating Potter’s manhood.
Well, it wouldn't be. Because wizards don't wear trousers.
Harry’s organ seemed constrained in that position but Harry was not complaining. Severus popped the flaccid organ into his mouth but try as he might the younger man was not getting aroused.
Harry needs Viagra.
“Get off me; you are useless. You repulse me to the point that arousal is impossible with you around,” he said reaching for his money bag.
What's he paying for then?
“Don’t challenge me, Snape. I assure you it will not be pretty.”
But Severus did not move.
“Pick it up and thank me for not hurting you,” warned the wizard from above.
Severus did not move.
Harry pulled out his wand.
Severus did not move.
*buzz* Repetition!
“Do you know how many beautiful witches I could have in my bed? But NO! I come to bed to find your sorry excuse for a human being awaiting me.”
Yet again, that's idiot!Harry's own fault.
[Severus] had only had sex with one woman, an older faculty member, and he always knew it was an act of kindness from her part. They would get together sometimes during holidays when the castle was empty and the idle time induced idle activities. She was always kind to him and tried to make him feel good about himself, claiming that he was an excellent lover. Even after he had become a senior member of the faculty she always viewed him as a kid who she was compelled to buff his ego. How he would love to be cradle in her arms at this …
Yeah, it comes to something when a one-off flashback would actually make a better fic than the fic it's in.
And what had he done to acquire such a potent erection?
Viagra!
“Say you’re sorry. Say it!” said Potter as he thrust. “Beg for forgiveness,” more brutal thrusts. “Forgiveness for having killed everyone that ever meant anything to me: my parents, my godfather, Dumbledorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre!” was his last strangle words as he came.
The sex scenes just get funnier and funnier as the fic goes on, believe me. Dumbledorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre! *points to icon*
Severus closed his eyes. The thought of bending over to pick up his robe was overwhelming.
Well, you were quick enough to bend over before!
Continued...
Harry guided Severus to the floos that were located in the middle of the lobby. Severus felt self conscious about walking through the main floor of the Ministry of Magic wearing such a short robe. He was almost sure that he still had dry blood streaks running down his legs. The healer that had examined him to make sure he was pregnant had not bothered with healing nor cleansing spells.
Nobody noticed, of course. The fact that the extent of the angst-fodder abuse heaped upon the "Marked Ones" is supposed to be a secret is kind of contradicted, of course, by the apparent fact that the Ministry sent people into the Department of Buggery to tell them to keep the racket down. What exactly did they think was going on in there?
“Very well, first, you will try to speak as little as possible and will always refer to me as Mr. Potter or Sir. You will thank me for my time and effort by kissing my hand and verbally thanking me. Second, once you have given birth to my child you will be out in the street. Do not worry; I will try to ‘guide’ you as much as possible in your carrying months. Although you and I know that you are beyond hope. I will also give you the opportunity to make some money. I wouldn’t want you crying to the Prophet that I have put the father of my child out in the cold.
Strictly speaking Snape is the mother of Harry's child. I'll give this a partial pass because it's nigh impossible to discuss mpreg without screwing the English language in some way.
Therefore, you will whore yourself while you are here.”
Harry doesn't actually whore Snape out, which would work as a source of pathos. If, of course, it didn't involve Harry and Snape. All that happens is he lives with him, shags him and gives him money. In other words, it's a relationship.
Also, I'm not seeing Harry being quite so verbose.
“Yes, Snape, yet again you have cost me a love one. Ginny has dumped me
First he blames Snape for Sirius' death when he had absolutely nothing to do with it, now he's blaming him for his own stupidity in turning his back on Ginny. Deserving!Harry really is a tosser. Not to mention a complete idiot.
“I say three sickles and twenty knuts for fellatio, one sickle and ten knuts for a hand job and eight sickles and fifteen knuts for penetration.
So that's 2.74 handjobs to a BJ and 2.31 BJs to a shag. Good to know. Who uses "fellatio" and "penetration" in everyday conversation anyway? The inclusion of "handjob" amid such formality lends the proceedings a certain Sophisticated as Hell (warning: TVTropes link!) quality.
two penetrations will earn you a galleon.
And a Knut to spare!
“How much do I owe you?” he asked looking straight into Snape’s eyes. Severus lowered his eyes in response.
“Are you going to make me repeat my question?”
“Eight sickles and fifteen knuts,” was the short and to the point response.
“And why do I owe you this money?” prodded Potter.
“For penetration,” answered the tall man without raising his gaze from the floor.
Eight Sickles and fifteen Knuts for a shag. We get it. This chapter brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
“He can be taught,” scorned Harry, “Here,” he said throwing the coins on the floor, “Now make your self scarce. I am sick of looking at your hideous face.”
Again, Harry, that's nobody's fault but your own. You're the one who brought him into your house.
“Thank you; it is Kreacher; isn’t it?”
The elf simply nodded.
Meet Kreacher, the most well-adjusted character in this fic. Take as long as you need for the implications of that statement to sink in.
When he lay down he immediately knew what the magic was used for because he was laying on the most comfortable floor he had ever rested on. It was not too soft. It had the right consistency of firmness that he enjoyed in his own bed.
In which he woke up. It had all been a terrible nightmare. The End.
Sadly not. He takes breakfast, where Harry is an OOC pompous motormouth again, then putters around trying to help Kreacher and drinks some "lemon aide". I wouldn't put it past this writer to ship Snape/Kreacher.
Anyway, Snape decides to unwind with a book and gets hexed for his trouble:
He immediately felt the weight of his mistake. His arm was in pain. It instantly curled up against his body giving him the look of a lame dog. Try as he might he could not straighten his arm. His hand would not leave his torso but for an inch or two and his hand was flap and non-responsive.
One can't help but wonder what's in Harry's books to justify a security system that would put the Restricted Section to shame.
“So I see you believe to have free access to what is not yours. What was it? My wine, my wizarding chess game, oh no let me guess; my books,” he said with a knowing smirk.
Why does a wizard talking to another wizard within the wizarding world have to specify that he's referring to wizard chess? It should be obvious from context. And why, I have to ask again, is Harry a smug pompous jackass in this fic?
Life as a spy had taught him never to stick out his wand hand. It was always to be ready with wand at hand to defend self or those in need of defending. He had grabbed the book with his left hand so he still had the use of his stronger appendage.
Admit it. When you see the word "appendage" in an Uber-Pit fic, your mind goes there.
I am not you Snape; I am fair with my punishment.
BURN!
Anyway, Harry lifts the curse after Snape asks for forgiveness and the entire episode is never mentioned again nor has any lasting consequences, because continuity is evil.
“Are you any good at giving blow jobs?” he asked out of the blue.
Out of the blue is right. WTF?
“I have never done it before, Sir,” he answered looking at his lap but making sure his words were loud and clear.
Harry snorted. “A death eater that has never given a blow job.
What? Death Eaters don't spend their time having wild orgies! My Immortal isn't canon!
Oh wait, you might be telling the truth, you were after all Voldemort’s right hand man. Yes, you would be the one forcing your victims to pleasure you…”
Strangely enough, I think Voldemort would think twice about having a right-hand man who aspires to a Darwin Award. Because really, if you go round sticking your dick in the mouth of someone who doesn't want a dick there you might as well be saying "well, I didn't need that anyway".
“No,” he said extending the o,
He undid the button and zipper and found that this was of no use in liberating Potter’s manhood.
Well, it wouldn't be. Because wizards don't wear trousers.
Harry’s organ seemed constrained in that position but Harry was not complaining. Severus popped the flaccid organ into his mouth but try as he might the younger man was not getting aroused.
Harry needs Viagra.
“Get off me; you are useless. You repulse me to the point that arousal is impossible with you around,” he said reaching for his money bag.
What's he paying for then?
“Don’t challenge me, Snape. I assure you it will not be pretty.”
But Severus did not move.
“Pick it up and thank me for not hurting you,” warned the wizard from above.
Severus did not move.
Harry pulled out his wand.
Severus did not move.
*buzz* Repetition!
“Do you know how many beautiful witches I could have in my bed? But NO! I come to bed to find your sorry excuse for a human being awaiting me.”
Yet again, that's idiot!Harry's own fault.
[Severus] had only had sex with one woman, an older faculty member, and he always knew it was an act of kindness from her part. They would get together sometimes during holidays when the castle was empty and the idle time induced idle activities. She was always kind to him and tried to make him feel good about himself, claiming that he was an excellent lover. Even after he had become a senior member of the faculty she always viewed him as a kid who she was compelled to buff his ego. How he would love to be cradle in her arms at this …
Yeah, it comes to something when a one-off flashback would actually make a better fic than the fic it's in.
And what had he done to acquire such a potent erection?
Viagra!
“Say you’re sorry. Say it!” said Potter as he thrust. “Beg for forgiveness,” more brutal thrusts. “Forgiveness for having killed everyone that ever meant anything to me: my parents, my godfather, Dumbledorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre!” was his last strangle words as he came.
The sex scenes just get funnier and funnier as the fic goes on, believe me. Dumbledorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre! *points to icon*
Severus closed his eyes. The thought of bending over to pick up his robe was overwhelming.
Well, you were quick enough to bend over before!
Continued...