Achromatic Ecstasy, Part 6
Title: Achromatic Ecstasy
Pairing: Kenbin
Rating: R
Genre: Angst, drama, AU, bunch of fucked up stuff
Summary: Despite having been best friends all their lives, it only takes them one month apart to turn everything on its head.
Chapter wordcount: 1,377
A/N: This fic deals with themes that may be triggering to some. Read with caution.
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
He doesn't get any sleep until the early hours of the morning have come and passed. The thoughts keep spinning around in his head, and he's relieved because at least now he knows, and he's sure he has lost his best friend. He knows it well enough that that isn't the issue anymore.
Whether or not Jaehwan wants to be his friend (or more), Hongbin wants to help him. Needs to help him. The fact that Jaehwan is pissed off with him makes it easier for him, honestly, because now he has nothing to lose.
Perhaps it's an insane idea, but it's the only one Hongbin has right now: he wants to talk to Taekwoon, the person who influenced Jaehwan to do all this to begin with. It's unclear now whether it's Taekwoon or the drugs that has brainwashed Jaehwan, but in a strange way the two are starting to float into each other in Hongbin's thoughts. They are both responsible for the change in Jaehwan, and Hongin blames them both.
He looks up Taekwoon's phone number on the internet first thing when he wakes up, but then he remains sitting on his bed, staring at his laptop, because simply sending Taekwoon a message or giving him a call doesn't seem like enough. A message can easily be discarded, and a call can be cut off with a single press of your thumb. He wants answers, and he doesn't want Taekwoon to be able to ignore him. So, with a few more clicks, he finds Taekwoon's address, and doesn't give himself time to change his mind before he brushes his teeth and sets off to find the place, his camera slung around his shoulders as an excuse.
He puts the address into the GPS on his phone to find the place, and it tells him the walk will take about thirty-five minutes. It's another beautiful day; the sun is beaming, the sky is clear barred a few fluffy white clouds, and Hongbin takes a few absent-minded photos along the way. Most of them come out a little blurry, though, because as much as Hongbin wishes it wasn't true, he is scared of Taekwoon. He feels as if he's on his way to meet Jaehwan's personal demons, meet the drugs themselves, and to be honest, he has no idea what to say. What could he possibly offer Taekwoon that would stop him from ruining Jaehwan's life even further?
Most likely nothing. But he has to try.
The GPS leads him right up to Taekwoon's yard, and he stands outside on the street indecisively. He remembers how Taekwoon told him it was more like a cottage than a house, and he must admit that the small, white house in front of him doesn't appear to be in its best condition. Still, he doesn't dare to go into his yard and knock on his door just yet, so he remains where he's standing, thinking it over again, even considering going back home until he sees Taekwoon's face looking at him through one of the windows. Hongbin swallows, lifts his hand and waves at him to show that he's there to see Taekwoon, not just passing by.
Taekwoon walks through the door a few seconds later, and Hongbin stays where he is. ”Hi, hyung.”
”Hey, Hongbin,” Taekwoon replies, remaining outside his door. ”What's up?"
”Uhm...” Hongbin's mouth goes dry. ”I need to talk to you about something. Can I come in?”
”Actually, I was just on my way out, so let's talk out here,” Taekwoon says, slowly walking down the steps onto the path to the street. Just as well, Hongbin figures. He feels much safer out here anyway. ”So what's up?” The older asks as he reaches Hongbin. He looks tired, with dark circles beneath his eyes and his hair all tousled.
”I...” Hongbin tries, willing himself to be stronger. ”I have to ask you to leave Jaehwan hyung alone.” Taekwoon's eyebrows shoot up. ”I don't think he really wants to get involved with the stuff you guys do. He just does it for your sake and it's messing up parts of his life.” He tries to keep his gaze steady, even when Taekwoon looks far from impressed.
But then amusement breaks through Taekwoon's stale exterior, and he laughs heartily. ”Oh, Hongbin, if you had seen him last night, I don't think you'd say that. He had the time of his life.”
Hongbin steadies himself. ”Maybe he's fine when you guys are out partying, but it's taking a toll on his family, for example.”
Taekwoon shrugs, looking disinterested. ”If they can't accept him as he is, then they're not his real family.”
Hongbin wants to say something about how just because Taekwoon's family life is screwed up it doesn't mean that everyone else's is, but as he thinks the comment might earn him a punch to the stomach, he bites it back. ”Please, hyung,” he says instead. ”Jaehwan hyung has changed a lot since the two of you started... doing this. He isn't normally like this.”
”Aw, you're so cute, you can't even say it, can you?” Taekwoon coos, looking Hongbin up and down.
Hongbin swallows heavily. ”He can't say no when you manipulate him,” he says, fear rising with the anger in Taekwoon's eyes. ”He feels like he doesn't have a free will when it comes to you.”
”Alright, listen up,” Taekwoon says, apparently having heard enough. ”I've spent a lot more time around Jaehwan recently than you have, alright? And we've done things together that you wouldn't even dream of.” He leans closer, and his eyes are cold now, but Hongin doesn't turn away. ”I know very well what he wants and not. And what he doesn't want, is to hang around someone that claims to be his friend but keeps undressing him with his eyes every chance he gets.” Hongbin's eyes widen, and he feels his cheeks burn with something akin to embarrassment. Taekwoon smiles at him as he straightens his back again. ”Oh, yes. Jaehwan has told me all about how his faggot-ass so called 'best friend' keeps coming onto him, and how uncomfortable it's making him. So how about you be the one to back the fuck off, hm?”
Hongbin opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out, and the combined sting of his heart and how it's pouding against his ribcage feels like it's about to kill him, because there's no way Taekwoon would have known about his feelings for Jaehwan unless Jaehwan really did tell him. Did he really tell him like that? Can it be true? Has Hongbin misread everything in Jaehwan's behavior with his wishful thinking?
”Fucking disgusting,” Taekwoon says, and Honbin finally turns his face away. ”Come on, Jaehwan, let's go!” Hongbin jumps at Taekwoon's loud voice, and he furrows his brow, confused.
Taekwoon's front door opens and Jaehwan steps through, closing it behind him and locking it with the key in his hand. Hongbin has time to wonder why Jaehwan has a key to Taekwoon's house before Jaehwan sets off down the steps and comes towards them, but then Taekwoon starts walking, and Hongbin remains by his postbox, eyes tearing and gaze flickering as he keeps it locked on Jaehwan.
The older stops right beside him, looking back at him with a darkened expression on his face. He lingers, and Hongbin holds his breath, wishes he could say something, anything, but nothing can express the ache in his chest, and nothing could tell the other man how much he is hurting. Jaehwan's eyes cast downwards then, and he steps around Hongbin, head hung low as he walks away, and Hongbin's vision turns dizzy as he watches him leave. Jaehwan hurries to catch up with Taekwoon, and Hongbin feels his entire body trembling with adrenaline and whatever it is that causes the physical ache of heartbreak. Love?
His hands are still shaking when he raises his camera to his face and snaps a picture of their retreating backs on the otherwise empty street. He looks at it on the screen, and what he sees is two men ready to take on the world together; a pale, achromatic world, from which they have stolen the sun to keep for themselves.
Pairing: Kenbin
Rating: R
Genre: Angst, drama, AU, bunch of fucked up stuff
Summary: Despite having been best friends all their lives, it only takes them one month apart to turn everything on its head.
Chapter wordcount: 1,377
A/N: This fic deals with themes that may be triggering to some. Read with caution.
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
He doesn't get any sleep until the early hours of the morning have come and passed. The thoughts keep spinning around in his head, and he's relieved because at least now he knows, and he's sure he has lost his best friend. He knows it well enough that that isn't the issue anymore.
Whether or not Jaehwan wants to be his friend (or more), Hongbin wants to help him. Needs to help him. The fact that Jaehwan is pissed off with him makes it easier for him, honestly, because now he has nothing to lose.
Perhaps it's an insane idea, but it's the only one Hongbin has right now: he wants to talk to Taekwoon, the person who influenced Jaehwan to do all this to begin with. It's unclear now whether it's Taekwoon or the drugs that has brainwashed Jaehwan, but in a strange way the two are starting to float into each other in Hongbin's thoughts. They are both responsible for the change in Jaehwan, and Hongin blames them both.
He looks up Taekwoon's phone number on the internet first thing when he wakes up, but then he remains sitting on his bed, staring at his laptop, because simply sending Taekwoon a message or giving him a call doesn't seem like enough. A message can easily be discarded, and a call can be cut off with a single press of your thumb. He wants answers, and he doesn't want Taekwoon to be able to ignore him. So, with a few more clicks, he finds Taekwoon's address, and doesn't give himself time to change his mind before he brushes his teeth and sets off to find the place, his camera slung around his shoulders as an excuse.
He puts the address into the GPS on his phone to find the place, and it tells him the walk will take about thirty-five minutes. It's another beautiful day; the sun is beaming, the sky is clear barred a few fluffy white clouds, and Hongbin takes a few absent-minded photos along the way. Most of them come out a little blurry, though, because as much as Hongbin wishes it wasn't true, he is scared of Taekwoon. He feels as if he's on his way to meet Jaehwan's personal demons, meet the drugs themselves, and to be honest, he has no idea what to say. What could he possibly offer Taekwoon that would stop him from ruining Jaehwan's life even further?
Most likely nothing. But he has to try.
The GPS leads him right up to Taekwoon's yard, and he stands outside on the street indecisively. He remembers how Taekwoon told him it was more like a cottage than a house, and he must admit that the small, white house in front of him doesn't appear to be in its best condition. Still, he doesn't dare to go into his yard and knock on his door just yet, so he remains where he's standing, thinking it over again, even considering going back home until he sees Taekwoon's face looking at him through one of the windows. Hongbin swallows, lifts his hand and waves at him to show that he's there to see Taekwoon, not just passing by.
Taekwoon walks through the door a few seconds later, and Hongbin stays where he is. ”Hi, hyung.”
”Hey, Hongbin,” Taekwoon replies, remaining outside his door. ”What's up?"
”Uhm...” Hongbin's mouth goes dry. ”I need to talk to you about something. Can I come in?”
”Actually, I was just on my way out, so let's talk out here,” Taekwoon says, slowly walking down the steps onto the path to the street. Just as well, Hongbin figures. He feels much safer out here anyway. ”So what's up?” The older asks as he reaches Hongbin. He looks tired, with dark circles beneath his eyes and his hair all tousled.
”I...” Hongbin tries, willing himself to be stronger. ”I have to ask you to leave Jaehwan hyung alone.” Taekwoon's eyebrows shoot up. ”I don't think he really wants to get involved with the stuff you guys do. He just does it for your sake and it's messing up parts of his life.” He tries to keep his gaze steady, even when Taekwoon looks far from impressed.
But then amusement breaks through Taekwoon's stale exterior, and he laughs heartily. ”Oh, Hongbin, if you had seen him last night, I don't think you'd say that. He had the time of his life.”
Hongbin steadies himself. ”Maybe he's fine when you guys are out partying, but it's taking a toll on his family, for example.”
Taekwoon shrugs, looking disinterested. ”If they can't accept him as he is, then they're not his real family.”
Hongbin wants to say something about how just because Taekwoon's family life is screwed up it doesn't mean that everyone else's is, but as he thinks the comment might earn him a punch to the stomach, he bites it back. ”Please, hyung,” he says instead. ”Jaehwan hyung has changed a lot since the two of you started... doing this. He isn't normally like this.”
”Aw, you're so cute, you can't even say it, can you?” Taekwoon coos, looking Hongbin up and down.
Hongbin swallows heavily. ”He can't say no when you manipulate him,” he says, fear rising with the anger in Taekwoon's eyes. ”He feels like he doesn't have a free will when it comes to you.”
”Alright, listen up,” Taekwoon says, apparently having heard enough. ”I've spent a lot more time around Jaehwan recently than you have, alright? And we've done things together that you wouldn't even dream of.” He leans closer, and his eyes are cold now, but Hongin doesn't turn away. ”I know very well what he wants and not. And what he doesn't want, is to hang around someone that claims to be his friend but keeps undressing him with his eyes every chance he gets.” Hongbin's eyes widen, and he feels his cheeks burn with something akin to embarrassment. Taekwoon smiles at him as he straightens his back again. ”Oh, yes. Jaehwan has told me all about how his faggot-ass so called 'best friend' keeps coming onto him, and how uncomfortable it's making him. So how about you be the one to back the fuck off, hm?”
Hongbin opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out, and the combined sting of his heart and how it's pouding against his ribcage feels like it's about to kill him, because there's no way Taekwoon would have known about his feelings for Jaehwan unless Jaehwan really did tell him. Did he really tell him like that? Can it be true? Has Hongbin misread everything in Jaehwan's behavior with his wishful thinking?
”Fucking disgusting,” Taekwoon says, and Honbin finally turns his face away. ”Come on, Jaehwan, let's go!” Hongbin jumps at Taekwoon's loud voice, and he furrows his brow, confused.
Taekwoon's front door opens and Jaehwan steps through, closing it behind him and locking it with the key in his hand. Hongbin has time to wonder why Jaehwan has a key to Taekwoon's house before Jaehwan sets off down the steps and comes towards them, but then Taekwoon starts walking, and Hongbin remains by his postbox, eyes tearing and gaze flickering as he keeps it locked on Jaehwan.
The older stops right beside him, looking back at him with a darkened expression on his face. He lingers, and Hongbin holds his breath, wishes he could say something, anything, but nothing can express the ache in his chest, and nothing could tell the other man how much he is hurting. Jaehwan's eyes cast downwards then, and he steps around Hongbin, head hung low as he walks away, and Hongbin's vision turns dizzy as he watches him leave. Jaehwan hurries to catch up with Taekwoon, and Hongbin feels his entire body trembling with adrenaline and whatever it is that causes the physical ache of heartbreak. Love?
His hands are still shaking when he raises his camera to his face and snaps a picture of their retreating backs on the otherwise empty street. He looks at it on the screen, and what he sees is two men ready to take on the world together; a pale, achromatic world, from which they have stolen the sun to keep for themselves.