Achromatic Ecstasy, Part 4
Title: Achromatic Ecstasy
Pairing: Kenbin
Rating: R
Genre: Angst, drama, AU, bunch of fucked up stuff
Summary: Despite having been best friends all their lives, it only takes them one month apart to turn everything on its head.
Chapter wordcount: 2,596
A/N: This fic deals with themes that may be triggering to some. Read with caution.
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
When Hongbin sees Jaehwan next, it is for Sanghyuk's fifteenth birthday. It's been a few days since their conversation by the swings, and they've kept in touch lightly - Hongbin has decided that he needs to ease back into being Jaehwan's best friend, and it seems to be working well.
He hasn't heard a word from or about Taekwoon in days.
”Happy birthday, Hyuk-ah,” Hongbin says, placing his gift on the kitchen table and pulling the younger in for a headlock. Sanghyuk laughs, but struggles in his grip, and Mrs. Lee watches them from her chair, affectionate glint bright in her eyes.
”Hyung, ew, no, get off.” He breaks free, gives Hongbin a light punch on his arm before sitting down next to his mother. The cut under his eye is healing slowly but surely, but the sight of it still threatens to start earthquakes in Hongbin's heart. ”The first rule of my new life as fifteen: no more babying me,” Sanghyuk says, but the way his gaze is drawn to the colorful wrapping paper as Hongbin laughs still seems so very baby-like. Hongbin sits down opposite him.
”Your new life, huh?” he repeats, grinning because he remembers the feeling all too well.
”Yes. I am now officially an adult.” He gestures fancily with his hands, and his mother instantly wraps an arm around his shoulders.
”You'll always be my little baby,” she coos, and plants a firm, wet kiss on his cheek.
Sanghyuk pulls away and avoids Hongbin's amused eyes. ”Mom,” he fumes, snatching the gift from Hongbin off the table. He busies himself with opening it impatiently while his ears turn red, and Hongbin feels his heart about to burst with affection, for Sanghyuk, for Jaehwan, for this whole family. He loves them in a way he has never experienced anywhere else, not even with his own family.
”Hyung,” Sanghyuk gasps when two new, expensive computer games fall out of the torn packaging.
Hongbin leans over to get a better look at them. ”Are they alright?” he asks, smiling softly, but he knows, he knows very well how right they are and much Sanghyuk has wanted them.
”Yes, they're perfect.”
”I hope they're as good as they seem,” Hongbin says, but Sanghyuk has disappeared from this reality, too immersed in reading off the back of the cases. Mrs. Lee sends Hongbin a wink from the other side of the table. Hongbin feels lucky.
”So when are you going to admit to the world that you're really just a six year old stuck in time?”
The three of them turn their heads towards the doorway and Jaehwan is standing there with an envelop in his hand and a mischievous grin on his face. His dishevelled hair tells them that he only just woke up, and Hongbin's heart beats faster with a sudden wish to walk up to him and kiss him good morning.
”Hyung.” Hongbin notices that Sanghyuk's smile is a little turns a little more insecure, and he wonders if the two have talked at all about what happened the other day. Jaehwan doesn't seem to notice, though, because he just walks into the room, hands his little brother the envelope and says: ”Happy birthday, you muscular kindergartener.”
Sanghyuk snorts, but opens the envelope carefully. Hongbin leans over the table to read on the back of the silvery note that Sanghyuk pulls out.
”What is it?” Mrs. Lee asks.
”It's a $70 giftcard at the clothing centre,” Sanghyuk says, glancing up at his hyung.
Jaehwan nods. ”I thought you could get yourself a new jacket, since your other one got... ruined. You've been whining about that green one for ages.” He shrugs. ”And if it's not fun enough, you can just take the money and do something else with them.”
Sanghyuk smiles up at him. ”Thanks, hyung.”
Jaehwan smiles back as if nothing has ever gone wrong between them. ”C'mere, you,” he says, pulling his brother in for a hug, resulting in Sanghyuk's face getting pressed into his stomach. The younger's hand comes up to pat his back uncommittedly, and Hongbin watches them lovingly until he sees himself reflected in Mrs. Lee's eyes, and he bites the insides of cheeks to keep from smiling too widely.
”Hyung. Air.”
Jaehwan pulls back. ”Why do you need air when you have your hyung's love?” He walks around the table to sit down next to Hongbin, and a hand comes to rest at Hongbin's shoulder as he passes him. Hongbin's heart skips a timid beat, leaning into the touch, no matter how small and trivial it is.
”Do you love me enough to give me your lungs then, hyung?”
Jaehwan shakes his head dramatically, faking a hurt expression. ”You don't need my lungs, you already have my heart.”
Hongbin and Sanghyuk's brows fur. ”Ew,” they say in unison. Jaehwan gasps.
A while later, when they've each had a piece of cake for lunch (or in Jaehwan's case, breakfast) and Sanghyuk is busy drooling over his brand new pair of headphones, Jaehwan walks Hongbin out to the hallway.
”Hyuk's bringing Jackson and everyone over later so he probably won't want us around, but do you want to hang out?” the older asks as Hongbin puts on his shoes. He exhales through his teeth and throws a look at his watch.
”I can't. My dad's making me go to this family party.” And it's true; their family is throwing a party for Hongbin's twin aunts tonight. Despite how he has tried to get out of it, his father has managed to convince him that family is important. As if Hongbin didn't already know that. It just seems to him, noawadays (or maybe since always) that Hongbin's own family is now his second priority, and his second Lee family is his first. It's almost like this apartment is more like a home to him than his own, even though his room at home is covered in photographs he has taken, and Jaehwan's taste in decorations is terribly different from his own.
Disappointment flashes through Jaehwan's eyes for a moment before he manages to cover it up. ”Oh, so that's why you're over here so early? I knew you couldn't be up at this hour unless you absolutely have to.” Jaehwan laughs as Hongbin punches his arm.
”Shut up,” he says, shaking his head, not even admitting to himself that the other is right.
Jaehwan holds up his hands in a peace offering. ”Seriously though, do you have a second before you go? I kind of need to tell you something.”
Hongbin tenses. ”Sure,” he says, even though he doesn't, not really.
Swallowing visibly, Jaehwan points towards the door. ”Let's talk out here.”
They walk through the door together once Hongbin has left his goodbyes to the birthday boy, and they shut the door shakily with combined powers once they're in the stairwell. ”What's up?” Hongbin asks immediately, heart already beating harder against his chest.
”Uhm...” Jaehwan scratches at the back of his head. His eyes are fixed somewhere below Hongbin's knees. ”I've thought about what we talked about, you know, that day.” He looks up, making sure Hongbin is with him, and the younger nods. ”I've decided to quit.”
Hongbin's body falls back into place. ”Really?”
”Really.”
”Hyung...” He places a hand on Jaehwan's lower arm and holds on as tightly as he dares. He doesn't know what to say; 'thank you'? 'Good'? 'About fucking time'? Nothing can express the relief in his heart or the joy that spreads in his stomach, not even close. ”What made you decide?”
”I just...” Jaehwan looks away, and he seems embarrassed. Hongbin wants to shake him, because no no no, he doesn't want him to feel ashamed when he's just made the best decision of his life. ”I kind of... saw Taekwoon the other day. Uhm... He was high. I wasn't.”
”Oh?” Hongbin mumbles, feeling scared all of a sudden. ”What happened? I thought you said he treats you well.”
”Oh, he does,” Jaehwan agrees. ”He didn't do anything to me. It's just... it was kind of repulsive to see him act the way he did when I was sober.”
”What did he do?”
Jaehwan avoids his eyes. ”I don't think I should tell you. It's not important. The important thing is that I know that I act like that, too, when I'm high. I don't want anyone to see me like that, not you, not Hyuk, not my parents or friends...”
Hongbin has to pause for a second and think about why he wasn't grouped up with Jaehwan's other ”friends”, and in the silence that follows, Jaehwan glances at him uncertainly. ”Plus... I don't want to say too much, but the after-effects of some of that shit is really nasty. So when school starts up again I'll ruin everything if I continue like this, and then my dad will kill me for destroying my chances of getting into a good college. I don't want to die.” He finishes his ramble with a laugh, and Hongbin smiles at him softly.
”You're not worried that it's going to be difficult?”
Jaehwan snorts in frustration. ”No, since, again, I'm not addicted. I can quit whenever I want. I just... I think I shouldn't be around Taekwoon as much as I have been. He can be very... persuasive. But it won't be a problem. I'm done with the whole thing.”
”Thank God,” he says, sinking down on the stairs that lead to the next floor, his wobbly legs giving way beneath him.
Jaehwan hums. ”Were you really that worried?”
Skipping the bullshit, Hongbin nods. ”Terrified.”
”I can't understand.” Laughing a little, Jaehwan shakes his head.
He knows he's being obvious, but he doesn't care - it seems like he cares less and less nowadays. He plays with his hands, unable to face Jaehwan's gaze. ”I just don't know what I would do if something happened to you.” He doesn't look up to see Jaehwan's reaction, he doesn't need to; all he wants is for Jaehwan to know how much he cares about him. Which he does, of course, he knows it all too well and he has for several years, and for a second Hongbin is confused, because he can't act on his protective needs more than a friend would, more than relaying them through words, so where does he go from here? How does he give his feelings the space they need?
”Hongbin...” Jaehwan says quietly, and Hongbin forces himself to look up.
”Yeah?”
Jaehwan fidgets where he stands. ”Let me know when you have time to hang out, okay?” He looks serious, a little nervous and too calm for the Jaehwan that Hongbin is used to. ”There's a lot of stuff that I want to tell you and things we should talk about.”
Hongbin stares at him through wide eyes. ”Should I be worried?”
Shaking his head, Jaehwan gives him a stiff smile. ”Never. They're all good things.” He laughs, and it echoes through the stairwell. ”I'm pretty sure you know already, anyway.”
Hongbin swallows dryly. ”Then why not just tell me now? I have some time.” He winces at he looks at his watch. ”I mean, I can run home afterwards.”
But Jaehwan shakes his head, locking eyes with the other. ”I just want it to come out right.”
Hongbin is not one to flatter himself, but something is tickling the insides of his stomach, and he feels like he break into song or stop breathing any second now. ”Okay,” he says, breaking their eye contact before he starts smiling too widely. Truthfully, he doesn't know 100% what Jaehwan wants to tell him, but he thinks he has a pretty good idea.
”Alright, I'll let you go now,” Jaehwan says then, and Hongbin gets up. He doesn't want to leave, he wants to stay and have this long awaited talk with his a-little-more-than best friend, but just like Jaehwan, he doesn't want to die by his father's hands.
He dares to be bold and takes one of Jaehwan's hands in his. He doesn't know if Jaehwan is worried about Hongbin's reaction to his confession, but if he does, Hongbin wants him to stop. So he holds a little tighter than he would normally, and he doesn't bother disguising the affection on his face. ”Text me tonight? Help me look busy enough with my phone that my relatives won't start a conversation with me?”
Jaehwan's face goes from to surprise to joyful embarrassment. ”Of course.”
They separate, and Hongbin doesn't say goodbye before he sets off down the stairs. Trying to calm his racing heartbeat, he breathes deeply, going through the conversation again in his mind. Is it possible that their tiny falling out has given Jaehwan the final push to admit to his feelings? Is that really what is happening? So this whole thing did bring something positive after all?
And is Jaehwan really going to confess soon? Hongbin has to stop and squeeze his eyes shut to be able to bear with the excitement that bursts through him at he thought, because if he knows Jaehwan right it's going to be unbearably cheesy, but at the same time of course very romantic, and Hongbin isn't sure if his heart can handle that.
Fuck, he realizes as he stumbles over his feet on his run home; he is so deeply in love with this boy that he has lost sight of everything reasonable.
He slows down only to type up a message to Sanghyuk.
12:43
hongbin
i have another birthday present for you. hyung told me he's quitting.
12:44
sanghyuk
thank fuck!!!
12:45
hongbin
language, boy.
12:47
sanghyuk
shut up you're not my real dad
20:27
jaehwan
i think i should clarify some stuff about taekwoon. ^^'
20:28
hongbin
ugh, you finally text me and it's about him? when you know how jealous i am of the guy?
20:30
jaehwan
^^ sorry about that. how's the party?
20:30
hongbin
oh, fantastic. college this, college that. i'm kinda starting to feel like you.
20:31
jaehwan
for your sake, i hope not~
20:32
hongbin
anyway, what were you saying about taekwoon?
20:35
jaehwan
right ^^' uhm... you asked me if he was the one brought me into this whole mess and i replied that i have free will, right? well, i think that sometimes with taekwoon hyung... it's like i don't. have free will, i mean. :/
20:36
hongbin
what do you mean?
20:38
jaehwan
it's just, i'm starting to realize how manipulative he is. and a lot of the time i don't even realize that he's manipulated me into doing stuff i don't want to until a long time afterwards ^^'
20:40
hongbin
at least you know now, right? some people are like that, they know exactly which strings to pull.
20:41
jaehwan
yeah.. anwyay, that's all i wanted to say. no more taekwoon-talk, since you apparently don't like it ^^
20:42
hongbin
thank god.
20:42
jaehwan
^^ are you really that jealous?
20:43
hongbin
don't even ask, please.
20:44
jaehwan
why not? :3
20:44
hongbin
because it's embarrassing.
20:45
jaehwan
well, maybe i like it~
20:46
hongbin
what, embarrassing me?
20:47
jaehwan
knowing that you're jealous ^^
20:48
hongbin.
well. maybe i'll tell you more about it when we meet.
20:50
jaehwan
silly hongbin. don't be jealous. you have no reason to be.
20:51
hongbin
i have every reason to be.
20:52
jaehwan
tsk~ we'll see ^^
Pairing: Kenbin
Rating: R
Genre: Angst, drama, AU, bunch of fucked up stuff
Summary: Despite having been best friends all their lives, it only takes them one month apart to turn everything on its head.
Chapter wordcount: 2,596
A/N: This fic deals with themes that may be triggering to some. Read with caution.
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
When Hongbin sees Jaehwan next, it is for Sanghyuk's fifteenth birthday. It's been a few days since their conversation by the swings, and they've kept in touch lightly - Hongbin has decided that he needs to ease back into being Jaehwan's best friend, and it seems to be working well.
He hasn't heard a word from or about Taekwoon in days.
”Happy birthday, Hyuk-ah,” Hongbin says, placing his gift on the kitchen table and pulling the younger in for a headlock. Sanghyuk laughs, but struggles in his grip, and Mrs. Lee watches them from her chair, affectionate glint bright in her eyes.
”Hyung, ew, no, get off.” He breaks free, gives Hongbin a light punch on his arm before sitting down next to his mother. The cut under his eye is healing slowly but surely, but the sight of it still threatens to start earthquakes in Hongbin's heart. ”The first rule of my new life as fifteen: no more babying me,” Sanghyuk says, but the way his gaze is drawn to the colorful wrapping paper as Hongbin laughs still seems so very baby-like. Hongbin sits down opposite him.
”Your new life, huh?” he repeats, grinning because he remembers the feeling all too well.
”Yes. I am now officially an adult.” He gestures fancily with his hands, and his mother instantly wraps an arm around his shoulders.
”You'll always be my little baby,” she coos, and plants a firm, wet kiss on his cheek.
Sanghyuk pulls away and avoids Hongbin's amused eyes. ”Mom,” he fumes, snatching the gift from Hongbin off the table. He busies himself with opening it impatiently while his ears turn red, and Hongbin feels his heart about to burst with affection, for Sanghyuk, for Jaehwan, for this whole family. He loves them in a way he has never experienced anywhere else, not even with his own family.
”Hyung,” Sanghyuk gasps when two new, expensive computer games fall out of the torn packaging.
Hongbin leans over to get a better look at them. ”Are they alright?” he asks, smiling softly, but he knows, he knows very well how right they are and much Sanghyuk has wanted them.
”Yes, they're perfect.”
”I hope they're as good as they seem,” Hongbin says, but Sanghyuk has disappeared from this reality, too immersed in reading off the back of the cases. Mrs. Lee sends Hongbin a wink from the other side of the table. Hongbin feels lucky.
”So when are you going to admit to the world that you're really just a six year old stuck in time?”
The three of them turn their heads towards the doorway and Jaehwan is standing there with an envelop in his hand and a mischievous grin on his face. His dishevelled hair tells them that he only just woke up, and Hongbin's heart beats faster with a sudden wish to walk up to him and kiss him good morning.
”Hyung.” Hongbin notices that Sanghyuk's smile is a little turns a little more insecure, and he wonders if the two have talked at all about what happened the other day. Jaehwan doesn't seem to notice, though, because he just walks into the room, hands his little brother the envelope and says: ”Happy birthday, you muscular kindergartener.”
Sanghyuk snorts, but opens the envelope carefully. Hongbin leans over the table to read on the back of the silvery note that Sanghyuk pulls out.
”What is it?” Mrs. Lee asks.
”It's a $70 giftcard at the clothing centre,” Sanghyuk says, glancing up at his hyung.
Jaehwan nods. ”I thought you could get yourself a new jacket, since your other one got... ruined. You've been whining about that green one for ages.” He shrugs. ”And if it's not fun enough, you can just take the money and do something else with them.”
Sanghyuk smiles up at him. ”Thanks, hyung.”
Jaehwan smiles back as if nothing has ever gone wrong between them. ”C'mere, you,” he says, pulling his brother in for a hug, resulting in Sanghyuk's face getting pressed into his stomach. The younger's hand comes up to pat his back uncommittedly, and Hongbin watches them lovingly until he sees himself reflected in Mrs. Lee's eyes, and he bites the insides of cheeks to keep from smiling too widely.
”Hyung. Air.”
Jaehwan pulls back. ”Why do you need air when you have your hyung's love?” He walks around the table to sit down next to Hongbin, and a hand comes to rest at Hongbin's shoulder as he passes him. Hongbin's heart skips a timid beat, leaning into the touch, no matter how small and trivial it is.
”Do you love me enough to give me your lungs then, hyung?”
Jaehwan shakes his head dramatically, faking a hurt expression. ”You don't need my lungs, you already have my heart.”
Hongbin and Sanghyuk's brows fur. ”Ew,” they say in unison. Jaehwan gasps.
A while later, when they've each had a piece of cake for lunch (or in Jaehwan's case, breakfast) and Sanghyuk is busy drooling over his brand new pair of headphones, Jaehwan walks Hongbin out to the hallway.
”Hyuk's bringing Jackson and everyone over later so he probably won't want us around, but do you want to hang out?” the older asks as Hongbin puts on his shoes. He exhales through his teeth and throws a look at his watch.
”I can't. My dad's making me go to this family party.” And it's true; their family is throwing a party for Hongbin's twin aunts tonight. Despite how he has tried to get out of it, his father has managed to convince him that family is important. As if Hongbin didn't already know that. It just seems to him, noawadays (or maybe since always) that Hongbin's own family is now his second priority, and his second Lee family is his first. It's almost like this apartment is more like a home to him than his own, even though his room at home is covered in photographs he has taken, and Jaehwan's taste in decorations is terribly different from his own.
Disappointment flashes through Jaehwan's eyes for a moment before he manages to cover it up. ”Oh, so that's why you're over here so early? I knew you couldn't be up at this hour unless you absolutely have to.” Jaehwan laughs as Hongbin punches his arm.
”Shut up,” he says, shaking his head, not even admitting to himself that the other is right.
Jaehwan holds up his hands in a peace offering. ”Seriously though, do you have a second before you go? I kind of need to tell you something.”
Hongbin tenses. ”Sure,” he says, even though he doesn't, not really.
Swallowing visibly, Jaehwan points towards the door. ”Let's talk out here.”
They walk through the door together once Hongbin has left his goodbyes to the birthday boy, and they shut the door shakily with combined powers once they're in the stairwell. ”What's up?” Hongbin asks immediately, heart already beating harder against his chest.
”Uhm...” Jaehwan scratches at the back of his head. His eyes are fixed somewhere below Hongbin's knees. ”I've thought about what we talked about, you know, that day.” He looks up, making sure Hongbin is with him, and the younger nods. ”I've decided to quit.”
Hongbin's body falls back into place. ”Really?”
”Really.”
”Hyung...” He places a hand on Jaehwan's lower arm and holds on as tightly as he dares. He doesn't know what to say; 'thank you'? 'Good'? 'About fucking time'? Nothing can express the relief in his heart or the joy that spreads in his stomach, not even close. ”What made you decide?”
”I just...” Jaehwan looks away, and he seems embarrassed. Hongbin wants to shake him, because no no no, he doesn't want him to feel ashamed when he's just made the best decision of his life. ”I kind of... saw Taekwoon the other day. Uhm... He was high. I wasn't.”
”Oh?” Hongbin mumbles, feeling scared all of a sudden. ”What happened? I thought you said he treats you well.”
”Oh, he does,” Jaehwan agrees. ”He didn't do anything to me. It's just... it was kind of repulsive to see him act the way he did when I was sober.”
”What did he do?”
Jaehwan avoids his eyes. ”I don't think I should tell you. It's not important. The important thing is that I know that I act like that, too, when I'm high. I don't want anyone to see me like that, not you, not Hyuk, not my parents or friends...”
Hongbin has to pause for a second and think about why he wasn't grouped up with Jaehwan's other ”friends”, and in the silence that follows, Jaehwan glances at him uncertainly. ”Plus... I don't want to say too much, but the after-effects of some of that shit is really nasty. So when school starts up again I'll ruin everything if I continue like this, and then my dad will kill me for destroying my chances of getting into a good college. I don't want to die.” He finishes his ramble with a laugh, and Hongbin smiles at him softly.
”You're not worried that it's going to be difficult?”
Jaehwan snorts in frustration. ”No, since, again, I'm not addicted. I can quit whenever I want. I just... I think I shouldn't be around Taekwoon as much as I have been. He can be very... persuasive. But it won't be a problem. I'm done with the whole thing.”
”Thank God,” he says, sinking down on the stairs that lead to the next floor, his wobbly legs giving way beneath him.
Jaehwan hums. ”Were you really that worried?”
Skipping the bullshit, Hongbin nods. ”Terrified.”
”I can't understand.” Laughing a little, Jaehwan shakes his head.
He knows he's being obvious, but he doesn't care - it seems like he cares less and less nowadays. He plays with his hands, unable to face Jaehwan's gaze. ”I just don't know what I would do if something happened to you.” He doesn't look up to see Jaehwan's reaction, he doesn't need to; all he wants is for Jaehwan to know how much he cares about him. Which he does, of course, he knows it all too well and he has for several years, and for a second Hongbin is confused, because he can't act on his protective needs more than a friend would, more than relaying them through words, so where does he go from here? How does he give his feelings the space they need?
”Hongbin...” Jaehwan says quietly, and Hongbin forces himself to look up.
”Yeah?”
Jaehwan fidgets where he stands. ”Let me know when you have time to hang out, okay?” He looks serious, a little nervous and too calm for the Jaehwan that Hongbin is used to. ”There's a lot of stuff that I want to tell you and things we should talk about.”
Hongbin stares at him through wide eyes. ”Should I be worried?”
Shaking his head, Jaehwan gives him a stiff smile. ”Never. They're all good things.” He laughs, and it echoes through the stairwell. ”I'm pretty sure you know already, anyway.”
Hongbin swallows dryly. ”Then why not just tell me now? I have some time.” He winces at he looks at his watch. ”I mean, I can run home afterwards.”
But Jaehwan shakes his head, locking eyes with the other. ”I just want it to come out right.”
Hongbin is not one to flatter himself, but something is tickling the insides of his stomach, and he feels like he break into song or stop breathing any second now. ”Okay,” he says, breaking their eye contact before he starts smiling too widely. Truthfully, he doesn't know 100% what Jaehwan wants to tell him, but he thinks he has a pretty good idea.
”Alright, I'll let you go now,” Jaehwan says then, and Hongbin gets up. He doesn't want to leave, he wants to stay and have this long awaited talk with his a-little-more-than best friend, but just like Jaehwan, he doesn't want to die by his father's hands.
He dares to be bold and takes one of Jaehwan's hands in his. He doesn't know if Jaehwan is worried about Hongbin's reaction to his confession, but if he does, Hongbin wants him to stop. So he holds a little tighter than he would normally, and he doesn't bother disguising the affection on his face. ”Text me tonight? Help me look busy enough with my phone that my relatives won't start a conversation with me?”
Jaehwan's face goes from to surprise to joyful embarrassment. ”Of course.”
They separate, and Hongbin doesn't say goodbye before he sets off down the stairs. Trying to calm his racing heartbeat, he breathes deeply, going through the conversation again in his mind. Is it possible that their tiny falling out has given Jaehwan the final push to admit to his feelings? Is that really what is happening? So this whole thing did bring something positive after all?
And is Jaehwan really going to confess soon? Hongbin has to stop and squeeze his eyes shut to be able to bear with the excitement that bursts through him at he thought, because if he knows Jaehwan right it's going to be unbearably cheesy, but at the same time of course very romantic, and Hongbin isn't sure if his heart can handle that.
Fuck, he realizes as he stumbles over his feet on his run home; he is so deeply in love with this boy that he has lost sight of everything reasonable.
He slows down only to type up a message to Sanghyuk.
12:43
hongbin
i have another birthday present for you. hyung told me he's quitting.
12:44
sanghyuk
thank fuck!!!
12:45
hongbin
language, boy.
12:47
sanghyuk
shut up you're not my real dad
20:27
jaehwan
i think i should clarify some stuff about taekwoon. ^^'
20:28
hongbin
ugh, you finally text me and it's about him? when you know how jealous i am of the guy?
20:30
jaehwan
^^ sorry about that. how's the party?
20:30
hongbin
oh, fantastic. college this, college that. i'm kinda starting to feel like you.
20:31
jaehwan
for your sake, i hope not~
20:32
hongbin
anyway, what were you saying about taekwoon?
20:35
jaehwan
right ^^' uhm... you asked me if he was the one brought me into this whole mess and i replied that i have free will, right? well, i think that sometimes with taekwoon hyung... it's like i don't. have free will, i mean. :/
20:36
hongbin
what do you mean?
20:38
jaehwan
it's just, i'm starting to realize how manipulative he is. and a lot of the time i don't even realize that he's manipulated me into doing stuff i don't want to until a long time afterwards ^^'
20:40
hongbin
at least you know now, right? some people are like that, they know exactly which strings to pull.
20:41
jaehwan
yeah.. anwyay, that's all i wanted to say. no more taekwoon-talk, since you apparently don't like it ^^
20:42
hongbin
thank god.
20:42
jaehwan
^^ are you really that jealous?
20:43
hongbin
don't even ask, please.
20:44
jaehwan
why not? :3
20:44
hongbin
because it's embarrassing.
20:45
jaehwan
well, maybe i like it~
20:46
hongbin
what, embarrassing me?
20:47
jaehwan
knowing that you're jealous ^^
20:48
hongbin.
well. maybe i'll tell you more about it when we meet.
20:50
jaehwan
silly hongbin. don't be jealous. you have no reason to be.
20:51
hongbin
i have every reason to be.
20:52
jaehwan
tsk~ we'll see ^^