So my roommate is watching Titanic, and I'm, um, occasionally viewing the screen over her shoulder. It just got to the scene where Jack Bristow the designer of the Titanic is telling the ship's captain that it's a "mathematical certainty" that the ship is going to sink. I asked my roommate, "Is it weird that I find these guys more interesting ( Read more... )

The other day, my roommate said, "Sometimes I just let my testicles get in the way of everything." She paused. "My figurative testicles. I have balls ( Read more... )

"I'm so anxious, I'm going to give myself an early heart attack."
-- my roommate

"I love tentacle rape!"
-- again, my roommate

"You don't need porn, you just need JESUS."
-- yes, my roommate

"I am not clicking on Dumpster Sluts again."
-- the roommate, obviously lying

Roommate: I am getting really stressed.
Me: Would you like some macaroni and cheese?
Roommate: No. [long pause] Sorry. Now you know what it's like to be my mother ( Read more... )

My roommate just told me ( Read more... )

It's all fun and games until your roommate gets a toenail stuck in her eye.

(No worries, she got it out.)

Sigh. Life crazy. Send rabbits.

And candy. Candy would be good, too.

My roommate just slashed Lewis/Clark, swear to god.

"You've gotta like someone an awful lot to travel with them, that's all I'm sayin'," she says.

Well, I'm convinced...

So, for the past few days my roommate has been complaining about how fat she is. She goes through these phases every so often, and I usually greet them with a "No, you're not," and a "You look fine!" and a rapid change of subject to keep her from sinking into a little pit of self-pity ( Read more... )

Because we are deranged and very bored, and find ourselves amused by pictures of dudes with multiple appendages. ( Some choice selections from our conversation. )

After a whirlwind week or so, I return with a list of Some Things In Life That Are Currently Awesome:

- The France study abroad program I applied for!! I got in! Five weeks in Paris this summer. Five weeks. In Paris. The only way this would be any cooler would be if I knew a lick of French. I do not. But I can do a mean pantomime. Best of ( Read more... )