my roommate and I have our own sitcom
Roommate: I am getting really stressed.
Me: Would you like some macaroni and cheese?
Roommate: No. [long pause] Sorry. Now you know what it's like to be my mother.
and
Roommate: What do I do?
Me: Just wipe off your hand and use my hand sanitizer.
Roommate: That sounds so bad out of context. We should use that in an episode of our sitcom.
Me: The episode entitled, "That Time with the Fisting Accident"?
Roommate: ...You're gross.
and
Me, freaking out: We can't forget to turn in that form for graduation. We can't!
Roommate: You're like an octopus!
Me: What?
Roommate: You just curled up and shriveled, like an octopus does when it's really nervous or about to go fuck something up.
and
Roommate, putting on her bathrobe: I feel like Jon Arbuckle without the cat.
Me: You're like a superhero. Or a boxer! Except your robe has a big heart on it.
Roommate: I'm the Love Hero!
...all within the last fifteen minutes. I think this is a sign of our disintegrating mental states.
(One of these days I will be back on LJ properly and will reply to comments. I am afraid that day is not yet. Hi school craziness!)
Leaving you with one last Moment of (Roommate) Zen:
Roommate: If we ever do make a sitcom of our lives, we have to find some damn good actors. Nobody can act as stupid as we can.
Me: Would you like some macaroni and cheese?
Roommate: No. [long pause] Sorry. Now you know what it's like to be my mother.
and
Roommate: What do I do?
Me: Just wipe off your hand and use my hand sanitizer.
Roommate: That sounds so bad out of context. We should use that in an episode of our sitcom.
Me: The episode entitled, "That Time with the Fisting Accident"?
Roommate: ...You're gross.
and
Me, freaking out: We can't forget to turn in that form for graduation. We can't!
Roommate: You're like an octopus!
Me: What?
Roommate: You just curled up and shriveled, like an octopus does when it's really nervous or about to go fuck something up.
and
Roommate, putting on her bathrobe: I feel like Jon Arbuckle without the cat.
Me: You're like a superhero. Or a boxer! Except your robe has a big heart on it.
Roommate: I'm the Love Hero!
...all within the last fifteen minutes. I think this is a sign of our disintegrating mental states.
(One of these days I will be back on LJ properly and will reply to comments. I am afraid that day is not yet. Hi school craziness!)
Leaving you with one last Moment of (Roommate) Zen:
Roommate: If we ever do make a sitcom of our lives, we have to find some damn good actors. Nobody can act as stupid as we can.