Being sad makes me tired.
Being angry makes me tired.
Being in social situations makes me tired.
Being hungry makes me tired.
Being stressed makes me tired.
Being in pain makes me tired.
So yeah, I'm just tired pretty much all the time.

So, in the weird social arrangement of my life, there aren't a lot of people I really consider my friends, and none of the ones I do consider friends are people I actually met. They are all people brought in by my brothers, and though some I have befriended since and become close to, a lot of them are just people I end up socializing with because ( Read more... )

Last week I came to the disturbing realization that I’m completely burned out.

I’m normally a really responsible and proactive person, and putting things off, leaving things dirty, not getting stuff taken care of in a timely manner etc. annoys and exhausts me. So when I start just letting things slide, when I just don’t care anymore, when keeping ( Read more... )

Does anyone else ever suddenly get overwhelmingly depressed-like, unable to function, crying in the middle of work, crying on the way home, exhausted depressed- not about anything that’s happened to you, or that’s going on in your own life, but just about the general condition of the world around you? That all over the world, right now, people are ( Read more... )

I have a dependency on books that's like an addiction. It's very rare that any great length of time will go by that I don't have one book or another I'm chipping away at. A lot of what I read is fiction, but I read a lot of history as well, and that's where a huge part of the inspiration for my writing comes from. Because at it's core, my need to ( Read more... )

Sometimes their power begins before the cover is even cracked. I picked one up today that I’ll be reading soon. I held it in my hands and felt myself tingling with the thought of opening it, tantalized at the idea of what new people, and nations, and histories were lying between its pages, a whole universe bound inside a bundle of paper and ink. I ( Read more... )

The car stopped working again. Wasn't able to get a jump til closing time, since I was ringed in on all sides. (Stupid me, I thought my car might work, ha.) Thankfully my mother was back from Wisconsin, and after I dropped my car off at the repair place again she took me home, and then dropped me at work and picked me up the next day. This time it ( Read more... )

So, here's a blow-by-blow of how I spent the week of 02/04-02/08 ( Read more... )

Stuck in my room again while the children I live with have their fourth tiff today. The day I leave, and finally free myself of this nonsense, cannot come fast enough. 

Since about March I have been looking into aid work, relief work, or long-term volunteering positions. It feels like I've been looking forever, and despite the dizzying array or positions and organizations, nothing has worked out. They all need someone with training, or with a degree, or they won't let me talk about my religion, or whatever. An ( Read more... )