I'm pretty positive noone reads this so I'm writing this for myself. Being this weight is killing me, and I know that everyone tells me I look great and I'm healthy, but I want someone to tell me I'm thin that omg I'm so skinny they wish they looked like me. But noone would ever say that because I'm an ugly fat fuck. And all my friends are prettier ( Read more... )

you tear your skin apart just to feel something..anything.
and you're shaking on the floor.

So after reserving a score of 10 on my essay for my placement test for Quinsig I'm really considering double majoring in Business and English. Business has always been my plan but I'm really good at writing and I enjoy it. I did terrible on my math but i've always been really bad at math.
 I think that I'm really going to try hard, and get organized ( Read more... )

I honestly love Paul more than anything he's amazing and I dont know what I'd do without him. I dont see myself ever being with someone else ever.
I'm going on vacation with him and his family for a week I'm leaving tomorrow and I'm gunna miss my Steffii and Trishaa but I'm going to have so much fun too!<3

I get to go to Canada!
haha

and I thought Id ( Read more... )

This pain in my chest wont go away I've been keeping it pretty quiet because people seem to get nervous about it.
but it honestly hurts so bad.

and yet I feel numb

oh ya and I suck.

If my sister wasnt in the car with me i wish that car had hit me.

So Ive stopped going to theropy and the doctors all together.
My B.M.I is 20.6 which is the most it's been in about 3 years.
I dont know what happened or when it happened but this fat needs to go.
I'm considering going on a diet pill to help.
I'm pretty sure noone has me as a friend anymore on this which is for the better.

I need a job and to start ( Read more... )

So I was looking at everyone's myspace and happen to come upon paul's. I click on it. In his heroes  section it says "girls with eating disorders". I'm not dumb. But I guess I fucking deserve that.

I still suck.

I deleted my myspace and I'm probably going to stop writing in this stupid thing, I basically fucked up everything ( Read more... )

some kid called me fat today.
that was cool.