6 months onwards
In my last entry, I talk about me getting a job with a very good company, 6 months on now, I'm still healthily employed, not in the best position, but still well fed. Much has happened in this vast 6 months, breaking hearts, heart broken, been up on cloud 9, sent down to depths of hell, life was really a big gigantic ferris wheel. I've fallen out of love, fall in love many times, life was never the same without all these happenings in my life. So much so that in a very sadistic way gave a lot of pleasure in my life.
The one love that I have now may never have a chance to reading this, but maybe it is for the better that she don't coz this may sound completely awful to a certain extent. Whenever I feel like writing something down here, it usually means i'm suffering from alot of pain and agony. So here goes.
Seriously, sometimes I feel like being fucked over and over again. Like how many times do you really want to do this to me. Everytime u look me into my eyes and tell me that you can never give up on me and that you love me very much, but the very next moment you turn around and tell the same things to other ppl. Sometimes you lie so much that I isnt exactly sure what to make out of anything you say anymore. I love you with all my soul, but at the same time, i live with fear reverberating through the same soul that fell so much in love. They say pain and pleasure always mix, how fucking true is that, but right now i feel that fear is always slightly more victorious than pleasure. As much as now you assure me that you wun lie to me, and that u will try your best to not go astray. A part of me still doubt that because you have the said the same things before, nothing new, but oh well. Fuck it, the most annoying part of this is that I can never give you up, fell too deep into this to pull myself out. Time and time again you reinforce the idea that we are going to make it, time and time again you hook me in like a fishing rod. So i guess im here to stay for as long as i'm breathing.
6 months onwards since i embark on my china job, and just before the 6 months mark, I looked u into the eye and asked you to marry me, you said yes, and I'm working on that one. I hope we will make it, I thought hard if you are the one, i cant find any reason why you are not. Unless of course you slam your door shut right in front of my face, add a little fingering and the most unpleasant tone of fuck off.
Indeed life can be such a bitch, but some say lifes bittersweet, but i say lifes a fucking tard. People who fight hard for us we will never appreciate, in turn we fight so hard for others who might not appreciate us. Indeed life is never the same without you around, and I will continue to fight hard even though i know this sounds fucking retarded. I love you, with all that i can, and besides i'm a fighter by nature. As my life motto always goes, rather die fighting than to live in regret. So hell yeah, i am going to be your most amazing kick ass best friend, boy friend and husband to be.
6 months onwards, my boss is give hell to me, and im seriously thinking of quitting to re-unite with my girl.
What say everybody who still reads this crap.
The one love that I have now may never have a chance to reading this, but maybe it is for the better that she don't coz this may sound completely awful to a certain extent. Whenever I feel like writing something down here, it usually means i'm suffering from alot of pain and agony. So here goes.
Seriously, sometimes I feel like being fucked over and over again. Like how many times do you really want to do this to me. Everytime u look me into my eyes and tell me that you can never give up on me and that you love me very much, but the very next moment you turn around and tell the same things to other ppl. Sometimes you lie so much that I isnt exactly sure what to make out of anything you say anymore. I love you with all my soul, but at the same time, i live with fear reverberating through the same soul that fell so much in love. They say pain and pleasure always mix, how fucking true is that, but right now i feel that fear is always slightly more victorious than pleasure. As much as now you assure me that you wun lie to me, and that u will try your best to not go astray. A part of me still doubt that because you have the said the same things before, nothing new, but oh well. Fuck it, the most annoying part of this is that I can never give you up, fell too deep into this to pull myself out. Time and time again you reinforce the idea that we are going to make it, time and time again you hook me in like a fishing rod. So i guess im here to stay for as long as i'm breathing.
6 months onwards since i embark on my china job, and just before the 6 months mark, I looked u into the eye and asked you to marry me, you said yes, and I'm working on that one. I hope we will make it, I thought hard if you are the one, i cant find any reason why you are not. Unless of course you slam your door shut right in front of my face, add a little fingering and the most unpleasant tone of fuck off.
Indeed life can be such a bitch, but some say lifes bittersweet, but i say lifes a fucking tard. People who fight hard for us we will never appreciate, in turn we fight so hard for others who might not appreciate us. Indeed life is never the same without you around, and I will continue to fight hard even though i know this sounds fucking retarded. I love you, with all that i can, and besides i'm a fighter by nature. As my life motto always goes, rather die fighting than to live in regret. So hell yeah, i am going to be your most amazing kick ass best friend, boy friend and husband to be.
6 months onwards, my boss is give hell to me, and im seriously thinking of quitting to re-unite with my girl.
What say everybody who still reads this crap.