[Fanfiction - The GazettE] Whispers of Children [10/?]
Title: Whispers of Children
Author:
sorrowofanangel
Chapter: 10 of ?
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama, 1st Person narrative
Band: The GazettE
Pairing(s): Reita x Aoi/ Aoi x Reita (main) | Kai x Uruha/ Uruha x Kai | Reita x Kai (one-sided)
WARNING: Angst, schizophrenia, strong language, choking
Rating: R
DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own the GazettE. If I did, I would have probably married Kai by now ♥(´∀｀)♡
Synopsis: "I moved away to escape my past. Foolishly I believed a new start would help me forget. Help me move on. What I hadn't realised... was that it will follow you wherever you go. No one can know about my past. No one. And that includes Yuu..."
Chapter Summary: Akira faces the consequences and comes to a conclusion about his recent behaviour.
Notes: Things are so running away with me in this fic, I can't keep up! *dies* A little short, but please enjoy! <3
Music: LOSS, GODDESS, UNDYING ~ The GazettE | Fly on the Wall ~ Thousand Foot Krutch | Made of Stone ~ Evanescence
Previous Chapters: (Prologue) | (Chapter One) | (Chapter Two) | (Chapter Three) | (Chapter Four) | (Chapter Five) | (Chapter Six) | (Chapter Seven) | (Chapter Eight Part A) | (Chapter Eight Part B) | | (Chapter Nine) |
*My hands were detached from my body; squeezing tighter around Uruha's throat like I was watching some other entity possess me. Uruha gasped and struggled for breath underneath my chest, his arms waving frantically, fighting to stay alive,
"Sir, what are you doing?! Stop!! Stop it right now!!"
I didn't see the call button being squeezed desperately in between Uruha's fingertips, nor think of how he'd managed to reach it in that split second. I didn't even hear the alarms beeping deafeningly from the sides of Uruha's bed. I just squeezed tighter, wanting to see an end to Uruha's lies; his poisonous, treacherous lies.
It took three members of medical staff to drag me off of him, and I watched with a mixture of disdain and relief as Uruha coughed and spluttered underneath crowds of fresh stethoscopes and temperature readings. Still very much alive,
"Oh my God..." I whispered, my knees trembling and I landed back first into the nearest obstacle; tripping over a nurse's medical trolley. My hands were shaking beyond my control, the warmth of Uruha's weak and pale skin still tangible underneath my fingertips,
"He's a madman!" I heard Uruha cry as two security guards grabbed my arms and dragged me out of the door, shoving me with rough hands and barking orders at me like a dog, "He's killed once and I was going to be next!!"
His words stayed with me all the way into the elevator; all the way into the entrance lobby; all the way into my car and throughout my way home. I wasn't even thankful that the hospital staff hadn't called the police or charged me for assault. Only shocked that I had actually tried to kill the man.
My breathing had become more of a struggle as I drove over the speed limit towards my house, and had to pull over for air on a quiet country road. In the midst of a panic attack, I fell out of my seat and stumbled towards a large oak tree standing wilted on a grassy stretch of pathway, clinging to the bark and breathing in the welcoming icy air like life was being restored into my lungs.
I was trembling like I'd been submerged in icy water, crouching on my tiptoes as I sank lower to the ground in an effort to find stability. My breaths came quickly, misty air forming and evaporating before me with every exhale,
"Oh my God, I almost killed him," I whispered to myself, "Oh... fuck!"
Minutes I must have been there, letting myself freeze in the twilight temperature and my anguished screams echoing into the side of the hills and trees beside the road. Though it took time, I calmed myself down steadily until I could hear past my own panicked intakes for air and the loud, burly engine of my Mustang humming patiently at the side of the road. Eventually, the distant sound of radio music loomed to the surface, the car door left ajar and I could finally think clearly again,
"It's okay..." I took a deep breath, "You didn't. He's still alive. You didn't do it."
But hell, I wanted to.
With a frustrated growl, I rose to my feet and pushed the car door shut with a single hand, muffling the radio and submerging the street back into silence.
I'm so confused. I have two thought processes; one that is decent and moral... then the other that is more sinister and misguided. Why do I have to think like this?
I scoffed, "Because I'm not well... that's why. I haven't been well since -"
I sighed harshly, continuing to take deep, calming breaths as I made my way towards the path again. Ducking under the oak tree's branches, the road carefully wound its way back into the town; a road that twisted and turned down this gentle hill and through family owned farms. I gripped the safety barrier and looked outwards at the view - of the single dual carriageway and the crops standing tall either side on its entry towards my hometown; homes twinkling with light and car headlights illuminating the roads as they cruised at suburban-safe speeds. A couple of miles away, I could spy the dark blue stretch of the ocean meeting the twilight sky scattered in stars, and the small length of houses and maple trees that graced the street at its mouth; my own included.
Just looking at this perfect view; it reminded me of the very reason I came here. The quiet, the serenity, the calm; everything my life has far from become.
Though Uruha is suffering from brain damage... had he been right after all?
What good have I done here?
I cast my mind back to the beginning of October; when Kai and I ate dinner at the back of my house and chatted to the sound of the ocean waves.
When Yuu left that dreaded call for help on my doorstep and I threw myself into investigating why.
I sighed. Then Uruha was hit by a car and my whole world turned upside down with it.
Kai and I had made love to mask our pain. I had pretty much confessed my deepest feelings to him, and in doing so, had scared him beyond belief. I said the wrong things, I blamed the wrong people for my actions. I released my anger on those who didn't deserve it... on Yuu...
I walk to my car, deep in thought, and seated myself back in the driver's seat, turning down the volume dial on the radio. The clock shining orange on the dashboard told me it had just gone past 9pm, and, as I pulled my phone out of my pocket, I knew hesitation shouldn't keep me from doing the right thing.
The call connected, as I was so used to. Day or night, after my nightmares, after the hell I'd been through...
It always connected.
I heard the tone after about five rings and the mobile provider voice instructing me on voicemail options.
My heart was racing by the time the second tone came,
"Kai... it's me. Akira..." I began softly, "Listen, I... I know I'm probably the last person that you want to hear from right now. And I understand that, I do, it's just I - uhh -" I took in another deep breath, "I need to tell you something. And chances are you're not going to like it," I scoffed, "Just like you've been enjoying anything I've been doing to you lately. God..." Spreading my tongue over my lips, I looked down at the town again for encouragement, "... Anyway. I need to tell you that I went to see Uruha tonight. And as you can imagine... it didn't go down that well. At all. I just thought you should hear it from me first because... the... the police might wanna talk to you. Talk to me. But I... I didn't hurt him. And... no matter what he tells you, I was acting out of grief, you know? That... That wasn't me in there Kai. You have to believe me. I'm disgusted with myself that it even happened and I just... I just want to make things right."
"I'm so sorry," I whispered, after a moment listening to radio silence and the distant chirps of crickets in the air, "I'm so sorry for everything. For my selfishness, for my jealousy... for all of the pain I've put you through. It was all my fault and I'm sorry. I don't know if you'll ever forgive me... especially after tonight. But... I just had to tell you. A-And I want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you. I could never..."
I close my eyes, waiting a single second before I utter the words I've wanted to tell him my whole life,
"... I love you."
I hung up the phone and stared directly ahead, letting my phone fall to the passenger seat and shine a white box of light against the car ceiling. I hoped that Kai would at least listen to half of it, even if I knew now that my chances of ever seeing him again were getting slimmer.
God, what was I thinking? This isn't me...
Aki...
"I know..." I mutter, more or less to no-one else, only to the voices still lingering in this fractured mind of mine, "But you're gone now. I tried. God, I tried so hard..."
You have to find us...
"No," I turned the key and took encouragement from the engine roaring to life, engaging life in me,
"I have to go home."
*
Flashing blue lights drew me to a stop just as I reached the driveway of my cottage, expecting nothing less when a male and a female officer tapped my window and asked if they could come inside. To them, I probably couldn't have reacted more perfectly, smiling a simple "Of course" and guiding them in with the offer of a hot beverage.
I made tea for all of us, even though they declined, but God knows I needed it. I braced myself for the questions that would follow as soon as I had sat down and placed the tea tray gently on the coffee table,
"Mr. Suzuki..." The male officer began; a mid-thirties, well-built gentleman with a strong facial profile and stubble guarding his chin. Probably had a wife and a couple of kids - the type to show up at elementary schools and impress children with his tales of police bravery and sought out justice, "We received a call from the county hospital, in which we believe you attempted to assault a patient, is this correct?"
I nodded slowly, lowering my gaze to focus on pouring myself a cup of tea - perhaps a little harder than required,
"I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you that they called us here." The female officer added; a petite, plain brown-haired young woman, far too career-driven to be entwined with details such as marriage and babies,
"No..." I answered honestly, trying not to be deterred by the fact that my house hadn't been cleaned for a week, and my dining chairs were still in scattered chaos after this afternoon's altercation with Yuu, "Look, it's alright. I know I have to answer for what I did tonight."
The officer nodded, "So... would you be so kind as to tell us what you were doing in Mr Takashima's room this evening?"
I told them both everything, choosing not to leave out any details; for my own sanity and self-reflection more than the police's benefit. I started from the beginning; telling them how Kai was my best friend and how a part of me had always been jealous of his relationship with Uruha. I told them about the day of Uruha's accident, the way Kai was and what a state he was in. How Uruha treated him in the weeks that followed. I told them I was grief-stricken when I drove down there. Angry... conspiring to do nothing other than look for an argument with Uruha,
"I just wanted to scream at him. To make him see..." I explained quietly, cradling my tea in my still sore and reddened hands. Even now, I could feel the frantic pulsation of Uruha's veins in his neck and it sickened me to my core, "I just wanted to make him understand how much he'd hurt Kai. I was... just so angry."
The female officer continued to take notes on a small, thin notepad as I spoke,
"Angry enough to want to commit murder?" She asked me.
I shrugged, recoiling at the memory of me stalking that hospital for answers that didn't exist. The things I was prepared to do to get them, "I wasn't thinking when I attacked him. He... said things that pushed my buttons. And after everything that had happened lately, I just couldn't take anymore. I saw red and that was it, I just lost my mind."
I took a sip of my tea to feel a smidgen of comforting warmth - the first of this evening alone.
The officers looked at each other like they were coming to the same conclusion.
I just hoped that it was the right one,
"We understand that it can be quite difficult to face someone suffering from this kind of brain condition," The male officer said carefully, "Especially when they're someone you'd known before the illness. Before this accident even happened."
"Yeah," I agreed, half-heartedly, "Although we still didn't get along back then... he was a lot easier to deal with than he is now."
They both stared at me, watching and waiting for me to expand on that opinion.
I sigh heavily, gazing down into the tea leaves swirling inside my cup, "He's so different. Not the cocky, larger-than-life personality that he was when I'd first met him, you know? As a lawyer, I thought that persona came naturally to him but... now this 'condition' of his has just thrown him deeper into something else. He's full of hate and spitefulness. I've never actually known anyone to be this cruel and unforgiving. It shocked me. Kai is my best friend and I hated all the things he was telling me; about what Uruha was doing to him. The fact that Uruha also accused me of all of these terrible things tonight just showed me how truthful Kai was being. Even though I try to remember that Uruha probably doesn't mean them -" I catch myself quickly,
"- It honestly seems like he does."
The pencil scribbling away to my side came to a halt again, "The things Mr. Takashima said to you in that room as you described... is any of it true?"
My gaze flickered between their curious stares through half-lidded eyes, and I only took a moment to answer,
"No. There's no truth to them at all."
Just lies.
All lies.
*
The police made sure not to overstay their welcome, and made a move to leave promptly just shy of 10:30pm. The remainder of the interview was a little less painful; though discussing my fallout with Kai this morning had been nothing less than an unpleasant experience. Try as I had to avoid it, the police weren't going anywhere until they'd filled in the gaps. Still, it seemed they almost felt sorry for me, now that I had told them how much I loved Kai; to them it probably made the story a little clearer. Which seemed to play in my favour as I wasn't being carted into a cell as I had previously feared,
"For security reasons, we're going to issue you with a formal warning, Mr. Suzuki." The male officer informed me, writing on what looked like a notepad of receipts. Tearing the paper off and handing it to me, I realised it was an official charge ticket, with the amount for ¥11,593 underlined at the bottom,
"This is an assault charge that you are duty bound to pay to your local governing office within the next seven days. And for both your safety, and Mr. Takashima's, we are respectfully putting into action a restraining order."
"A restraining order?" I echoed, raising my eyebrows,
"I'm afraid so," The officer's words were friendly, but he remained stern, "You are not to go within 150 feet of Mr. Takashima or the hospital in which he is situated in; this is to be extended after his release. Is that made clear?"
I nodded, "Of course."
"Good," Turning into our living room, I stepped in front of the pair to open my front door and see them out, "Though if Mr. Takashima would like to press charges, you understand that this fine and restraining order may not be all that you're issued with?"
It was a gentle warning, that was for sure, and I could do nothing else but nod once more; imagining that Uruha would like nothing more than to throw me in jail - for good as he had so claimed earlier tonight,
"I understand. Thank you for your time."
"And you for yours, Mr. Suzuki. Have a pleasant evening."
I said nothing in reply, instead smiling half-heartedly and watching them step back into their squad car and reverse out from behind my Mustang.
Once they'd left, I went to close my door when I spotted Yuu standing in the centre of the road, facing this way as if he had been watching us the whole time. Our eyes connected immediately, and once they did, the look on his face sank into fear again as it had earlier today.
Yuu...
My legs automatically started towards him and, after today with attempting to kill Uruha and the police's agonising questions, my brain couldn't come up with an apology fast enough,
"I'm sorry!" Yuu almost screamed, already starting to run like he feared I would do something unforgiveable if he didn't get away now, "I wasn't looking!! I didn't see anything!!"
"Yuu, STOP!" I shouted after him, a little more aggressively than I would have liked; and my lack of stamina and food the past few days meant I struggled to keep up with his pace,
"Yuu, please... slow down!" I gasped between breaths, a stitch developing in my side and I had to eventually force myself to stop about six houses from my own; though desperation gripped me as Yuu continued to run out of my reach and I had no choice but to call after him, "Yuu, I'm sorry, okay?! Come back! Please! I need to talk to you!"
He does stop then; turning so abruptly, he's almost back in proximity the next time I lift my head to look. I even got a sense of déjà vu; chasing after him in the rain outside the school that one time...
"Please..." I panted, as Yuu continued to step closer; looking at me somewhat scrupulously, hands tucked tentatively at his chest in that shy manner he always presents. Still as fragile as he was when we first met,
"It's okay," I reassured, finally getting my breath back and able to stand up straight again, "I'm not going to shout, I promise. All that is over, okay? That side of me is gone."
Yuu looks hesitant, and he dips his head to the floor so I can't make out his expression... but it seems he believes me regardless, "... You promise?"
"Mm. I promise." I smile gently, holding a hand out towards him, "Come on, let me make you some tea."
Yuu doesn't take it, though slowly lifts his head a smidgen upwards,
"It's time I owed you an explanation... for everything." I confessed, leaving my arm outstretched; hoping that he would trust me and take it.
But then he faced me properly, albeit with some effort. Under the bright street lamp, and now just inches away from me, I saw how different he looked.
He even looks paler... sickly. In fact, the more I observe him, the more I realise.
He looks beaten down. Attacked...
"Yuu?" I asked tentatively, bringing out my other arm as Yuu suddenly looks unsteady on his feet. This wasn't right. He didn't look like this this afternoon. I would have noticed...
But yet there is evidence. A fresh scratch is marked across his top lip, and the bruise on his cheek that was once fading had now been replaced with another,
"Yuu... what's happened?" I swallowed, "Who did this to you?"
"I..." Yuu whispered, taking a shaky step towards me, "A-Akira..."
Coming towards me, I was completely taken aback as his legs gave way and he collapsed, the whites of his eyes rolling into the back of his head and I lunged forward to catch him in my arms,
"Yuu?!" I called, lowering him to the floor and propping his back upright with the support of my knee. Yuu's body is entirely motionless, and he was surprisingly light in weight, "Yuu, can you hear me?!"
He stays perfectly still, totally unconscious and unmoving; but he is breathing and I could feel a pulse once I pressed two fingers to his neck.
I sighed and regarded him a moment, looking around me only to find no one in the neighbourhood had so much as stirred,
"It's alright," I whispered to the boy in my arms, sighing in discontent as I swept stray strands of his bangs away from his face. After a moment, I lifted him up and carried him back up the road and towards my house, "Come on, I'm going to take care of you."
Something I should have done a long time ago.
*
A/N: I feel like this was very short and brief so I apologise if it comes across that way (^^; ) I also had a cold/flu halfway through this ( ;w; )
But!! If it helps, I literally have the next five chapters all panned out and everything is in such a good working order, I am SO PLEASED! Comments and reads are super awesome, thank you lovelies! Let me know you're still enjoying it~ (it will make me super happys <3 )
Author:
sorrowofanangel
Chapter: 10 of ?
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama, 1st Person narrative
Band: The GazettE
Pairing(s): Reita x Aoi/ Aoi x Reita (main) | Kai x Uruha/ Uruha x Kai | Reita x Kai (one-sided)
WARNING: Angst, schizophrenia, strong language, choking
Rating: R
DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own the GazettE. If I did, I would have probably married Kai by now ♥(´∀｀)♡
Synopsis: "I moved away to escape my past. Foolishly I believed a new start would help me forget. Help me move on. What I hadn't realised... was that it will follow you wherever you go. No one can know about my past. No one. And that includes Yuu..."
Chapter Summary: Akira faces the consequences and comes to a conclusion about his recent behaviour.
Notes: Things are so running away with me in this fic, I can't keep up! *dies* A little short, but please enjoy! <3
Music: LOSS, GODDESS, UNDYING ~ The GazettE | Fly on the Wall ~ Thousand Foot Krutch | Made of Stone ~ Evanescence
Previous Chapters: (Prologue) | (Chapter One) | (Chapter Two) | (Chapter Three) | (Chapter Four) | (Chapter Five) | (Chapter Six) | (Chapter Seven) | (Chapter Eight Part A) | (Chapter Eight Part B) | | (Chapter Nine) |
*My hands were detached from my body; squeezing tighter around Uruha's throat like I was watching some other entity possess me. Uruha gasped and struggled for breath underneath my chest, his arms waving frantically, fighting to stay alive,
"Sir, what are you doing?! Stop!! Stop it right now!!"
I didn't see the call button being squeezed desperately in between Uruha's fingertips, nor think of how he'd managed to reach it in that split second. I didn't even hear the alarms beeping deafeningly from the sides of Uruha's bed. I just squeezed tighter, wanting to see an end to Uruha's lies; his poisonous, treacherous lies.
It took three members of medical staff to drag me off of him, and I watched with a mixture of disdain and relief as Uruha coughed and spluttered underneath crowds of fresh stethoscopes and temperature readings. Still very much alive,
"Oh my God..." I whispered, my knees trembling and I landed back first into the nearest obstacle; tripping over a nurse's medical trolley. My hands were shaking beyond my control, the warmth of Uruha's weak and pale skin still tangible underneath my fingertips,
"He's a madman!" I heard Uruha cry as two security guards grabbed my arms and dragged me out of the door, shoving me with rough hands and barking orders at me like a dog, "He's killed once and I was going to be next!!"
His words stayed with me all the way into the elevator; all the way into the entrance lobby; all the way into my car and throughout my way home. I wasn't even thankful that the hospital staff hadn't called the police or charged me for assault. Only shocked that I had actually tried to kill the man.
My breathing had become more of a struggle as I drove over the speed limit towards my house, and had to pull over for air on a quiet country road. In the midst of a panic attack, I fell out of my seat and stumbled towards a large oak tree standing wilted on a grassy stretch of pathway, clinging to the bark and breathing in the welcoming icy air like life was being restored into my lungs.
I was trembling like I'd been submerged in icy water, crouching on my tiptoes as I sank lower to the ground in an effort to find stability. My breaths came quickly, misty air forming and evaporating before me with every exhale,
"Oh my God, I almost killed him," I whispered to myself, "Oh... fuck!"
Minutes I must have been there, letting myself freeze in the twilight temperature and my anguished screams echoing into the side of the hills and trees beside the road. Though it took time, I calmed myself down steadily until I could hear past my own panicked intakes for air and the loud, burly engine of my Mustang humming patiently at the side of the road. Eventually, the distant sound of radio music loomed to the surface, the car door left ajar and I could finally think clearly again,
"It's okay..." I took a deep breath, "You didn't. He's still alive. You didn't do it."
But hell, I wanted to.
With a frustrated growl, I rose to my feet and pushed the car door shut with a single hand, muffling the radio and submerging the street back into silence.
I'm so confused. I have two thought processes; one that is decent and moral... then the other that is more sinister and misguided. Why do I have to think like this?
I scoffed, "Because I'm not well... that's why. I haven't been well since -"
I sighed harshly, continuing to take deep, calming breaths as I made my way towards the path again. Ducking under the oak tree's branches, the road carefully wound its way back into the town; a road that twisted and turned down this gentle hill and through family owned farms. I gripped the safety barrier and looked outwards at the view - of the single dual carriageway and the crops standing tall either side on its entry towards my hometown; homes twinkling with light and car headlights illuminating the roads as they cruised at suburban-safe speeds. A couple of miles away, I could spy the dark blue stretch of the ocean meeting the twilight sky scattered in stars, and the small length of houses and maple trees that graced the street at its mouth; my own included.
Just looking at this perfect view; it reminded me of the very reason I came here. The quiet, the serenity, the calm; everything my life has far from become.
Though Uruha is suffering from brain damage... had he been right after all?
What good have I done here?
I cast my mind back to the beginning of October; when Kai and I ate dinner at the back of my house and chatted to the sound of the ocean waves.
When Yuu left that dreaded call for help on my doorstep and I threw myself into investigating why.
I sighed. Then Uruha was hit by a car and my whole world turned upside down with it.
Kai and I had made love to mask our pain. I had pretty much confessed my deepest feelings to him, and in doing so, had scared him beyond belief. I said the wrong things, I blamed the wrong people for my actions. I released my anger on those who didn't deserve it... on Yuu...
I walk to my car, deep in thought, and seated myself back in the driver's seat, turning down the volume dial on the radio. The clock shining orange on the dashboard told me it had just gone past 9pm, and, as I pulled my phone out of my pocket, I knew hesitation shouldn't keep me from doing the right thing.
The call connected, as I was so used to. Day or night, after my nightmares, after the hell I'd been through...
It always connected.
I heard the tone after about five rings and the mobile provider voice instructing me on voicemail options.
My heart was racing by the time the second tone came,
"Kai... it's me. Akira..." I began softly, "Listen, I... I know I'm probably the last person that you want to hear from right now. And I understand that, I do, it's just I - uhh -" I took in another deep breath, "I need to tell you something. And chances are you're not going to like it," I scoffed, "Just like you've been enjoying anything I've been doing to you lately. God..." Spreading my tongue over my lips, I looked down at the town again for encouragement, "... Anyway. I need to tell you that I went to see Uruha tonight. And as you can imagine... it didn't go down that well. At all. I just thought you should hear it from me first because... the... the police might wanna talk to you. Talk to me. But I... I didn't hurt him. And... no matter what he tells you, I was acting out of grief, you know? That... That wasn't me in there Kai. You have to believe me. I'm disgusted with myself that it even happened and I just... I just want to make things right."
"I'm so sorry," I whispered, after a moment listening to radio silence and the distant chirps of crickets in the air, "I'm so sorry for everything. For my selfishness, for my jealousy... for all of the pain I've put you through. It was all my fault and I'm sorry. I don't know if you'll ever forgive me... especially after tonight. But... I just had to tell you. A-And I want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you. I could never..."
I close my eyes, waiting a single second before I utter the words I've wanted to tell him my whole life,
"... I love you."
I hung up the phone and stared directly ahead, letting my phone fall to the passenger seat and shine a white box of light against the car ceiling. I hoped that Kai would at least listen to half of it, even if I knew now that my chances of ever seeing him again were getting slimmer.
God, what was I thinking? This isn't me...
Aki...
"I know..." I mutter, more or less to no-one else, only to the voices still lingering in this fractured mind of mine, "But you're gone now. I tried. God, I tried so hard..."
You have to find us...
"No," I turned the key and took encouragement from the engine roaring to life, engaging life in me,
"I have to go home."
*
Flashing blue lights drew me to a stop just as I reached the driveway of my cottage, expecting nothing less when a male and a female officer tapped my window and asked if they could come inside. To them, I probably couldn't have reacted more perfectly, smiling a simple "Of course" and guiding them in with the offer of a hot beverage.
I made tea for all of us, even though they declined, but God knows I needed it. I braced myself for the questions that would follow as soon as I had sat down and placed the tea tray gently on the coffee table,
"Mr. Suzuki..." The male officer began; a mid-thirties, well-built gentleman with a strong facial profile and stubble guarding his chin. Probably had a wife and a couple of kids - the type to show up at elementary schools and impress children with his tales of police bravery and sought out justice, "We received a call from the county hospital, in which we believe you attempted to assault a patient, is this correct?"
I nodded slowly, lowering my gaze to focus on pouring myself a cup of tea - perhaps a little harder than required,
"I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you that they called us here." The female officer added; a petite, plain brown-haired young woman, far too career-driven to be entwined with details such as marriage and babies,
"No..." I answered honestly, trying not to be deterred by the fact that my house hadn't been cleaned for a week, and my dining chairs were still in scattered chaos after this afternoon's altercation with Yuu, "Look, it's alright. I know I have to answer for what I did tonight."
The officer nodded, "So... would you be so kind as to tell us what you were doing in Mr Takashima's room this evening?"
I told them both everything, choosing not to leave out any details; for my own sanity and self-reflection more than the police's benefit. I started from the beginning; telling them how Kai was my best friend and how a part of me had always been jealous of his relationship with Uruha. I told them about the day of Uruha's accident, the way Kai was and what a state he was in. How Uruha treated him in the weeks that followed. I told them I was grief-stricken when I drove down there. Angry... conspiring to do nothing other than look for an argument with Uruha,
"I just wanted to scream at him. To make him see..." I explained quietly, cradling my tea in my still sore and reddened hands. Even now, I could feel the frantic pulsation of Uruha's veins in his neck and it sickened me to my core, "I just wanted to make him understand how much he'd hurt Kai. I was... just so angry."
The female officer continued to take notes on a small, thin notepad as I spoke,
"Angry enough to want to commit murder?" She asked me.
I shrugged, recoiling at the memory of me stalking that hospital for answers that didn't exist. The things I was prepared to do to get them, "I wasn't thinking when I attacked him. He... said things that pushed my buttons. And after everything that had happened lately, I just couldn't take anymore. I saw red and that was it, I just lost my mind."
I took a sip of my tea to feel a smidgen of comforting warmth - the first of this evening alone.
The officers looked at each other like they were coming to the same conclusion.
I just hoped that it was the right one,
"We understand that it can be quite difficult to face someone suffering from this kind of brain condition," The male officer said carefully, "Especially when they're someone you'd known before the illness. Before this accident even happened."
"Yeah," I agreed, half-heartedly, "Although we still didn't get along back then... he was a lot easier to deal with than he is now."
They both stared at me, watching and waiting for me to expand on that opinion.
I sigh heavily, gazing down into the tea leaves swirling inside my cup, "He's so different. Not the cocky, larger-than-life personality that he was when I'd first met him, you know? As a lawyer, I thought that persona came naturally to him but... now this 'condition' of his has just thrown him deeper into something else. He's full of hate and spitefulness. I've never actually known anyone to be this cruel and unforgiving. It shocked me. Kai is my best friend and I hated all the things he was telling me; about what Uruha was doing to him. The fact that Uruha also accused me of all of these terrible things tonight just showed me how truthful Kai was being. Even though I try to remember that Uruha probably doesn't mean them -" I catch myself quickly,
"- It honestly seems like he does."
The pencil scribbling away to my side came to a halt again, "The things Mr. Takashima said to you in that room as you described... is any of it true?"
My gaze flickered between their curious stares through half-lidded eyes, and I only took a moment to answer,
"No. There's no truth to them at all."
Just lies.
All lies.
*
The police made sure not to overstay their welcome, and made a move to leave promptly just shy of 10:30pm. The remainder of the interview was a little less painful; though discussing my fallout with Kai this morning had been nothing less than an unpleasant experience. Try as I had to avoid it, the police weren't going anywhere until they'd filled in the gaps. Still, it seemed they almost felt sorry for me, now that I had told them how much I loved Kai; to them it probably made the story a little clearer. Which seemed to play in my favour as I wasn't being carted into a cell as I had previously feared,
"For security reasons, we're going to issue you with a formal warning, Mr. Suzuki." The male officer informed me, writing on what looked like a notepad of receipts. Tearing the paper off and handing it to me, I realised it was an official charge ticket, with the amount for ¥11,593 underlined at the bottom,
"This is an assault charge that you are duty bound to pay to your local governing office within the next seven days. And for both your safety, and Mr. Takashima's, we are respectfully putting into action a restraining order."
"A restraining order?" I echoed, raising my eyebrows,
"I'm afraid so," The officer's words were friendly, but he remained stern, "You are not to go within 150 feet of Mr. Takashima or the hospital in which he is situated in; this is to be extended after his release. Is that made clear?"
I nodded, "Of course."
"Good," Turning into our living room, I stepped in front of the pair to open my front door and see them out, "Though if Mr. Takashima would like to press charges, you understand that this fine and restraining order may not be all that you're issued with?"
It was a gentle warning, that was for sure, and I could do nothing else but nod once more; imagining that Uruha would like nothing more than to throw me in jail - for good as he had so claimed earlier tonight,
"I understand. Thank you for your time."
"And you for yours, Mr. Suzuki. Have a pleasant evening."
I said nothing in reply, instead smiling half-heartedly and watching them step back into their squad car and reverse out from behind my Mustang.
Once they'd left, I went to close my door when I spotted Yuu standing in the centre of the road, facing this way as if he had been watching us the whole time. Our eyes connected immediately, and once they did, the look on his face sank into fear again as it had earlier today.
Yuu...
My legs automatically started towards him and, after today with attempting to kill Uruha and the police's agonising questions, my brain couldn't come up with an apology fast enough,
"I'm sorry!" Yuu almost screamed, already starting to run like he feared I would do something unforgiveable if he didn't get away now, "I wasn't looking!! I didn't see anything!!"
"Yuu, STOP!" I shouted after him, a little more aggressively than I would have liked; and my lack of stamina and food the past few days meant I struggled to keep up with his pace,
"Yuu, please... slow down!" I gasped between breaths, a stitch developing in my side and I had to eventually force myself to stop about six houses from my own; though desperation gripped me as Yuu continued to run out of my reach and I had no choice but to call after him, "Yuu, I'm sorry, okay?! Come back! Please! I need to talk to you!"
He does stop then; turning so abruptly, he's almost back in proximity the next time I lift my head to look. I even got a sense of déjà vu; chasing after him in the rain outside the school that one time...
"Please..." I panted, as Yuu continued to step closer; looking at me somewhat scrupulously, hands tucked tentatively at his chest in that shy manner he always presents. Still as fragile as he was when we first met,
"It's okay," I reassured, finally getting my breath back and able to stand up straight again, "I'm not going to shout, I promise. All that is over, okay? That side of me is gone."
Yuu looks hesitant, and he dips his head to the floor so I can't make out his expression... but it seems he believes me regardless, "... You promise?"
"Mm. I promise." I smile gently, holding a hand out towards him, "Come on, let me make you some tea."
Yuu doesn't take it, though slowly lifts his head a smidgen upwards,
"It's time I owed you an explanation... for everything." I confessed, leaving my arm outstretched; hoping that he would trust me and take it.
But then he faced me properly, albeit with some effort. Under the bright street lamp, and now just inches away from me, I saw how different he looked.
He even looks paler... sickly. In fact, the more I observe him, the more I realise.
He looks beaten down. Attacked...
"Yuu?" I asked tentatively, bringing out my other arm as Yuu suddenly looks unsteady on his feet. This wasn't right. He didn't look like this this afternoon. I would have noticed...
But yet there is evidence. A fresh scratch is marked across his top lip, and the bruise on his cheek that was once fading had now been replaced with another,
"Yuu... what's happened?" I swallowed, "Who did this to you?"
"I..." Yuu whispered, taking a shaky step towards me, "A-Akira..."
Coming towards me, I was completely taken aback as his legs gave way and he collapsed, the whites of his eyes rolling into the back of his head and I lunged forward to catch him in my arms,
"Yuu?!" I called, lowering him to the floor and propping his back upright with the support of my knee. Yuu's body is entirely motionless, and he was surprisingly light in weight, "Yuu, can you hear me?!"
He stays perfectly still, totally unconscious and unmoving; but he is breathing and I could feel a pulse once I pressed two fingers to his neck.
I sighed and regarded him a moment, looking around me only to find no one in the neighbourhood had so much as stirred,
"It's alright," I whispered to the boy in my arms, sighing in discontent as I swept stray strands of his bangs away from his face. After a moment, I lifted him up and carried him back up the road and towards my house, "Come on, I'm going to take care of you."
Something I should have done a long time ago.
*
A/N: I feel like this was very short and brief so I apologise if it comes across that way (^^; ) I also had a cold/flu halfway through this ( ;w; )
But!! If it helps, I literally have the next five chapters all panned out and everything is in such a good working order, I am SO PLEASED! Comments and reads are super awesome, thank you lovelies! Let me know you're still enjoying it~ (it will make me super happys <3 )