It's The Only Thing That There's Just Too Little Of...
So...I’ve been working on this blog post for a few days now. Today is a global day where people are wearing purple and remembering the young people who killed themselves last month and this month because they were bullied for being gay. The very least I could do was wear purple, attend the rally at the Legislative Building, and maybe even post a blog about my own experiences even though they are incredibly minimal by comparison.
My first love happened when I was 6 or 7 years old and it was with a girl, not a boy. Our little romance went on for about 2 or 3 years. And guess what? I still had feelings for her as we got older even though she had moved on to be straight and, in fact, is now married to her high school “sweetheart” (I use the term loosely ‘cause the guy’s an asshole) and has had a baby. Anyway, during our very young honeymoon phase, we would perform little weddings to each other and make rings for one another out of clover flowers (creative, right?). I loved her as much as a child could love someone with all the pure innocence that goes along with it. One day, I announced to my family that when we got older I was going to marry her. Keep in mind that at that time (early ‘90s) and growing up out in the stix, I had no idea what LGBT was. After my announcement, a family member (I won’t say who) responded, “If you ever marry a girl, I will run you over with my car.” Nearly 20 years later and I still remember the shock, horror, and sadness I felt over that comment. I was confused and asked why. No one told that person it was wrong to say such a thing nor did anyone explain why a comment like that would be made in the first place. The topic was dropped and I never spoke of it again (though she and I kept our love going, stealing kisses at recess - hahaha). All I knew was that I loved her and wanted to be married to her which is what grown-ups do when they love someone.
As I reached puberty, I realized I wasn’t attracted to most boys. Mind you, I had slim pickings being out in the stix. But even at that, I didn’t find most celebrity boys/men attractive though I tried and would tell people that I thought so-and-so was cute (though didn’t really). I was more easily attracted to girls. This was confusing and I thought maybe I was lesbian...yet every once in awhile there would be that attraction to (some) men. I came to terms that I was bisexual probably around the time I was 14 years old though I never told anyone and, in fact, this is as close as I’ve gotten to telling my family and for some reason it feels kind of difficult, maybe because of my Dad's own "confusion" he felt about me going to Pride in San Francisco (What's to be confused about? They have a "Heteros for Homos" float; Pride is for everyone that believes in love and equality!).
I assumed most of my schoolmates knew I was bi. Hell, I’d be sitting in the bleachers with boys talking about girls’ bodies/looks and ogling my childhood love. I believe I was 16 when the words, “Because I’m bi!” exploded out of my mouth after some boys were questioning me a little too much on why I wouldn’t date any of the boys and why I would comment more on girls. I made that comment and walked out of the room. You know what? That was the only bit of “teasing” I ever got over the issue. Once a label was assigned, the issue was dropped and, dare I say, embraced. My female friends were fine (or at least they never expressed any discomfort) and, of course, my male friends thought it was awesome. *lol*
I had a high school teacher openly question my sexuality. I was doing "co-op ed" which is when you go to a business and perform a job without getting paid. I was doing that at a local hardware store when I was 16. This teacher came in (not knowing if I was doing co-op ed or if it was my paying job) and made a comment, in front of my "co-workers", basically calling me a lesbian (can't remember the exact dialogue). I was a bit embarrassed and replied, "I probably get more chicks than you," which, of course, completely killed his ego and he left. I told my parents about it and there was a meeting with the principal and teacher who, I believe, faced some sort of disciplinary action that I can't recall. His justification was that it was after work hours for him and that I "go around flirting and fondling girls at school". I argued that it was prejudicial in a small community to possibly "out" me, whether true or not, when I was taking part in a school program or even if it was my paying job.
I’m not a person to wave my bisexuality around a lot. Let’s face it, I’ve been in a monogamous hetero relationship for 7.5 years...what’s there to talk about? I’ve never carried on an intimate relationship with a woman because the opportunity never presented itself.
I’m one of the lucky people in that I wasn’t bullied over my sexual orientation. I can only imagine that the one really painful comment I had thrown at me when I was a child must be what some people have felt or do feel every single day...and it’s absolutely devastating and breaks my heart. It also must be very difficult for people to be outed before they're ready. At the rally tonight, a newswoman was asking people for interviews and I heard quite a few people turn her down. One guy in his 20s said, "Absolutely not. My father would kill me." O_O This is why I take LGBT issues seriously. This is why I am mortified whenever I hear of a LGBT person being assaulted or even killed because of the people they are attracted to and love. The absolute ignorance that some people still have about LGBT just boggles my mind. Who cares who a person loves?! It’s none of your business! If you’re not interested in them, then politely decline. We let gays marry because the vast majority of Canadians believe that love is love. LGBT don't choose their orientation just like heteros don't choose to be straight.
So, with that off my chest, I think the “It Gets Better” Project and the Give A Damn campaign are amazing. Bullying in general, of course, is horrible even though we have all participated in it to some degree or another. I feel more strongly opposed specifically to homophobic bullying because, to me, it seems like it has the greater possibility of leading to suicide or murder than bullying someone because they’re fat.
My first love happened when I was 6 or 7 years old and it was with a girl, not a boy. Our little romance went on for about 2 or 3 years. And guess what? I still had feelings for her as we got older even though she had moved on to be straight and, in fact, is now married to her high school “sweetheart” (I use the term loosely ‘cause the guy’s an asshole) and has had a baby. Anyway, during our very young honeymoon phase, we would perform little weddings to each other and make rings for one another out of clover flowers (creative, right?). I loved her as much as a child could love someone with all the pure innocence that goes along with it. One day, I announced to my family that when we got older I was going to marry her. Keep in mind that at that time (early ‘90s) and growing up out in the stix, I had no idea what LGBT was. After my announcement, a family member (I won’t say who) responded, “If you ever marry a girl, I will run you over with my car.” Nearly 20 years later and I still remember the shock, horror, and sadness I felt over that comment. I was confused and asked why. No one told that person it was wrong to say such a thing nor did anyone explain why a comment like that would be made in the first place. The topic was dropped and I never spoke of it again (though she and I kept our love going, stealing kisses at recess - hahaha). All I knew was that I loved her and wanted to be married to her which is what grown-ups do when they love someone.
As I reached puberty, I realized I wasn’t attracted to most boys. Mind you, I had slim pickings being out in the stix. But even at that, I didn’t find most celebrity boys/men attractive though I tried and would tell people that I thought so-and-so was cute (though didn’t really). I was more easily attracted to girls. This was confusing and I thought maybe I was lesbian...yet every once in awhile there would be that attraction to (some) men. I came to terms that I was bisexual probably around the time I was 14 years old though I never told anyone and, in fact, this is as close as I’ve gotten to telling my family and for some reason it feels kind of difficult, maybe because of my Dad's own "confusion" he felt about me going to Pride in San Francisco (What's to be confused about? They have a "Heteros for Homos" float; Pride is for everyone that believes in love and equality!).
I assumed most of my schoolmates knew I was bi. Hell, I’d be sitting in the bleachers with boys talking about girls’ bodies/looks and ogling my childhood love. I believe I was 16 when the words, “Because I’m bi!” exploded out of my mouth after some boys were questioning me a little too much on why I wouldn’t date any of the boys and why I would comment more on girls. I made that comment and walked out of the room. You know what? That was the only bit of “teasing” I ever got over the issue. Once a label was assigned, the issue was dropped and, dare I say, embraced. My female friends were fine (or at least they never expressed any discomfort) and, of course, my male friends thought it was awesome. *lol*
I had a high school teacher openly question my sexuality. I was doing "co-op ed" which is when you go to a business and perform a job without getting paid. I was doing that at a local hardware store when I was 16. This teacher came in (not knowing if I was doing co-op ed or if it was my paying job) and made a comment, in front of my "co-workers", basically calling me a lesbian (can't remember the exact dialogue). I was a bit embarrassed and replied, "I probably get more chicks than you," which, of course, completely killed his ego and he left. I told my parents about it and there was a meeting with the principal and teacher who, I believe, faced some sort of disciplinary action that I can't recall. His justification was that it was after work hours for him and that I "go around flirting and fondling girls at school". I argued that it was prejudicial in a small community to possibly "out" me, whether true or not, when I was taking part in a school program or even if it was my paying job.
I’m not a person to wave my bisexuality around a lot. Let’s face it, I’ve been in a monogamous hetero relationship for 7.5 years...what’s there to talk about? I’ve never carried on an intimate relationship with a woman because the opportunity never presented itself.
I’m one of the lucky people in that I wasn’t bullied over my sexual orientation. I can only imagine that the one really painful comment I had thrown at me when I was a child must be what some people have felt or do feel every single day...and it’s absolutely devastating and breaks my heart. It also must be very difficult for people to be outed before they're ready. At the rally tonight, a newswoman was asking people for interviews and I heard quite a few people turn her down. One guy in his 20s said, "Absolutely not. My father would kill me." O_O This is why I take LGBT issues seriously. This is why I am mortified whenever I hear of a LGBT person being assaulted or even killed because of the people they are attracted to and love. The absolute ignorance that some people still have about LGBT just boggles my mind. Who cares who a person loves?! It’s none of your business! If you’re not interested in them, then politely decline. We let gays marry because the vast majority of Canadians believe that love is love. LGBT don't choose their orientation just like heteros don't choose to be straight.
So, with that off my chest, I think the “It Gets Better” Project and the Give A Damn campaign are amazing. Bullying in general, of course, is horrible even though we have all participated in it to some degree or another. I feel more strongly opposed specifically to homophobic bullying because, to me, it seems like it has the greater possibility of leading to suicide or murder than bullying someone because they’re fat.