we're on our second round of chemotherapy treatments (there are eight rounds ( Read more... )

i need to stop holding others responsible for my personal happiness.
i need to stop basing my self-worth on how i am treated by others.

and perhaps most importantly, i need to stop making excuses for people who suck/hurt me.
__________________________________________________________________and on a totally unrelated note: i am totally salivating ( Read more... )

my fourth resolution this year was to be more emotionally guarded around boys. and not to get too excited and too involved in a short span of time because EVERY single time it happens, i get hurt.

well. i did it again. and i'm all bummed and hurt again.

definitely a resolution i need to work harder on in order to keep.

my company's christmas party on monday, so i psyched myself up for about a week, and asked the boy i've been smitten with since this summer if he wanted to browse the open bar and point and laugh at my drunk coworkers with me ( Read more... )

Poll R & R
just curious. rejection scares me a lot more than regret does...

ETA: ps, i kept the white coat. just in case anyone gives a damn. :)

last night, i dreamed that i was sleeping against a boy, who laid alongside me, with one arm wrapped around me.

it was the most peaceful, sound sleep i've had in months.

when i woke up, i learned that i had my back up against my bunched-up quilt, and that a corner of that quilt was covering one of my shoulders.

this week has been a nightmare ( Read more... )

As Ray Porter watches Mirabelle walk away he feels a loss. How is it possible, he thinks, to miss a woman whom he kept at a distance so that when she was gone he would not miss her. Only then does he realize that wanting part of her and not all of her had hurt them both and how he cannot justify his actions except that... well... it was life.

~ from ( Read more... )

...today was a day for unsettling realizations. and i realize that that's tremendously vague, but i'm not in any kind of position to give out any details about things of such a sensitive nature. my brain's all over the place and i'm really not sure how to react to any of it ( Read more... )

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