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Onion Funion Horoscopes
www.TheOnion.com - June 10, 2008 | Issue 44•24
Your Horoscope - Gemini May 21 - June 21
While it's often understood that racism, by nature, is borne of ignorance, your claim that the Irish control the media will still seem particularly uneducated this week.
This is sooo me - unfortuneately, hahhaa...
from May 20, 2008 Issue 44•21 - GeminiRemember ( Read more... ) -
Horoscope :: Fan-flippin'-tastic :P
Gemini
Thursday, Jun 5th, 2008 :: Paying your bills can take more time than you wish today as the Moon visits your 2nd House of Personal Resources. There is fiscal change in the air, but the results of what you do now may not come fast enough. Your impatience, however, won't prove to be productive. Do the right thing and just wait for your karma to ( Read more... ) -
Horoscope
ahmahgawd, is it really Friday again? Already???
Friday, May 30th, 2008 :: It's easy for someone to misread your intentions today, proving that you cannot judge a book by its cover. Your actions say one thing while your heart says something else. But don't blame others for misinterpreting your words. Trickster Mercury's retrograde can twist your ( Read more... ) -
Horoscope
Zodiac :: Gemini
Tuesday, May 27th, 2008 :: Although your head and your heart may be tugging at you in two different directions today, you should be able to make decisions throughout the day that acknowledge both sides of yourself. There's no need to give away your power or to deny what you are thinking and feeling. As long as you can be ( Read more... ) -
Horoscopes :: Good advice
Zodiac :: Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20)
Yesterday- Tuesday, May 20th, 2008 :: This is your birthday month so make use of these days to gain self-awareness and examine where you are going. Your heightened curiosity is an asset, so don't hesitate to ask your friends for their opinions. Remember, asking is only half of the equation. You must listen with ( Read more... )
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Horoscope :: Good advice, for ANY day...
Zodiac :: Gemini
Saturday, May 17th, 2008 :: Instead of finishing all the chores that may require attention today, you might make a half-hearted attempt to do them just so you can get on to other things. However, it's in your best interest to fulfill your obligations, even if you can tap dance your way around your responsibilities. You'll have a ( Read more... ) -
Horoscope :: Outcomes & Opportunities
{ Excerpt from general horoscope, for Monday 8 October 2007 :: }
".... Making a list of the attributes we would like to have in an ideal partner makes sense, yet it could also limit our field of possibilities. ... "
For Date :: Monday, October 8th, 2007 PST
Zodiac :: Gemini Horoscope (May 21 - Jun 20)By staying focused on the best possible ( Read more... )