I knocked on the door and he allowed me to come in, but his neutral, aloof attitude made me wonder if I had been mistaken about the appointment. I waved my paper in the air and weakly offered that it wasn't close to completion because I had been unexpectedly called in to work because we only had a new girl working, etc. etc., you know how it goes ( Read more... )

So this latest bout of depression is weird. It's lasting longer than my previous relapses (long enough to actually call it a relapse, for one). Also the mood swings are much more severe than previous bouts of depression. Last Tuesday I was high as a kite, and absolutely certain I had it beat. By Friday I was having trouble stopping myself from ( Read more... )

I've been feeling down and out of it all week. Even on Wednesday and Thursday, when I had plenty of sleep, I was feeling anxious, exhausted, nervous, insecure, worthless -- all the classic symptoms. I couldn't think of a single reason why I would be suddenly depressed. On Monday it felt like a fog had come over my eyes and ears. It was like I ( Read more... )

( Ashley's party and a challenge from livejournal )

I've made an ad on craigslist. [link]

May god and spammers have mercy on my brain. Actually within twenty minutes I had a response! Cool deal.

I'm trying to write a bit but it's difficult to concentrate. Sometimes I try to write about how I feel and something I try to write about Life is Beautiful, which is what I should, technically, be ( Read more... )

How boring are training videos? So. As in, so boring. I had trouble getting through 45 minutes of training without almost falling asleep in front of the computer. It was even an interactive training program!

Dear Programmers ( Read more... )

I've started leaving my laptop at home and my cell phone in my car (too paranoid about accidents/getting stranded to not have my cell while I'm out). Also, my new bag/purse thing is big enough that I can carry a schoolbook around. So my load is a lot lighter, and without electronics, I focus more on the reading. It's helped a lot, but it does ( Read more... )

I don't know what it was, exactly, about yesterday that was so awful. If it weren't for the current state of emotional things I would have said it had been a good, productive day. But maybe pretending took it all out of me. I didn't go to swing club, so James didn't either. Instead I went to his apartment, and we sat on the couch together, and ( Read more... )

The last two or three days went so well that I thought it was gone. Maybe I was a little bit scared but I was able to rise above it, lead my group in a discussion and such. And today I was able to be in an advisor meeting and hold my own. But I was nervous the whole time, maybe a little panicky. I'm scared of people. My depression tells me that ( Read more... )

Today a girl in my Traditional China class walked with me out the door. She asked me what we had done in History of Animation last week. I told her the different propaganda films we had watched. This led us to talk about Hanna-Barbera and the differences between film and television animation. It was a small conversation, and really it was more ( Read more... )