don't question why she needs to be so free, she'll tell you it's the only way to be
i have work today :-(. it snowed. this weekend i went to
dinner with emma and shannon, then back to emmas with shannon alicia
and sejal to watch a movie. then the next day i had work and hung out
with dan. and yesterday i caught up on sleep a little and saw dan. i'm
glad i still have him even if love doesn't fix everything else going
on, whatever it is that's going on, but it's a start ya know. sometimes
it makes things worse but i would rather live with it than without it,
without a doubt. i remember being younger and being so attached to my
friends..like literally attached at the hip to the point where there
wasn't a day that went by that i didn't hang out with them and they
were all i needed. i wondered why people thought love was so important,
if you're in love with the friends you have why would you need a
relationship? but i guess the older you get the less attached at the
hip you and your friends become and you need something to fill that
void that once seemed overflowing. i miss those days still, especially
the summer ones...i know we all do. i miss a lot of things, but i guess
i don't regret anything because i can't, that's just how things go. i
want to know what it feels like to be in love with a friend again. it
is in no way sexual, if that's what you were thinking. ofcourse i still
love all of my friends. i just wish i still had that sort of friendship
where we had to be together all the time had to talk on the phone and
when we went home for dinner we took walkie talkies to talk to
eachother for the whole half hour we'd be apart. things were so cute.
you never realize how great something is until things change. but that
comes with growing up, getting jobs, having things to do or places to
be. when you are younger nothing matters and responsibilities are so
limited. i have that love with dan, that best friend love, but i also
have love for him in a totally different way, so things just can't be
the same. i still have a space that's needs filling i just am not sure
what....i think most people do though. i don't know...i'll try new
things and see what happens.
