give me liberty or give me death
A REUNION...with a true confidade from a long lost friendship is offering me a bit of stability while on the other hand a later encounter has left me vulnerable. some random acquaintance through a chick i met in the girls room to a tatted green eyed 6'4 jock hottie now tempting me to get my hopes up. i know better... the role i have with guys is not one i wish to hold any longer, however i cant allow myself to see a prince in every guy that fucks me. in comparison to types that are always in relationships looking for space, im ready to mature in security and satisfaction rather than continue in denial that im even a little happy sleeping with other peoples boyfriends. it just so happpens that he is extremely attractive and the session we had together was definately pleasing. he told me he wanted to see me again before i left. im not stupid, there most likely wont be an invitation to go out on a date which i havent experienced in over a year. being crude and living my life in callowness without a clue as to how i can get a relationship of my own to work. one thing at a time i suppose after i got a call from him today three days later and unfortunately i have to avoid an opportunity to see him since im under the influence. disappointment and pessimism took me and i fell to my kryptonite so dependable. enough over analyzing myself to madness, i'll soon find out how things will evolve.