a need to write
Alright here goes... its been a long ass time since my last post and during that time i was admitted to a psychiatric hospital and went through 2 rehab programs. still nothing has changed. ive been feeling guilty this last week after my mom dropped 10K on my new passat and why, i dont even deserve it. my mom believes i acheived 5mo sobriety but this pipe in my hand would say otherwise. in addition im shifting between 2 guys that have gf's and are totally unavailable. it makes no sense, people say im very attractive and i could do better but i settle for flings then turn to gak for comfort. shit can make you forget your troubles or forget that its your trouble. since my relapse everyone who knows me has witnessed me loaded including my mom and my job. although i havent been confronted yet i know its only a matter of time in the meantime i thank God for the gift given to me at least i know he doesnt entirely hate me.