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[sdlucly]

This is so stupid, you know, so freaking stupid because... because it's been months and he's seeing someone else and she might even be pregnant and... but at times, god, at times all I can think of for a splitting second is that he promised, he fucking promised and he... he fucking promised and I know, fuck, I know I'm gonna get over it and I know

Comments

[the_dead_dream]

It's not stupid. Don't say that. You can't expect to just wake up one morning and all the things that you felt for him to be gone. You were together a really long time, you experienced things with him that you will probably never forget, and at the end of the day.. would you really want to forget all of that? You just want to forget the hurt. I don't blame you it's like having your heart split open and theres nothing you can do to fix it back

[sdlucly]

I k now I can't just... give myself a deadline for feeling like this, and then be angry at myself for not meeting that deadline, but man, sometimes it feels like it's hell and it's not going to change and I really hate that. But a part of me, I guess, hates the most that he's not in this hell. He was supposed to have it worse than me, suffer more and know without a shadow of a doubt that I was the best thing to happen to him and he screwed it all up. I hate that that's not the case

[the_dead_dream]

I get it. There was a time when I wanted blood to. I was hurt and I wanted her to hurt with me. But the more that I thought about it the more I knew that I was better off without her. She went and got pregnant by her ex-boyfriend and then got engaged. She was straight, she said.

I guess in my case, and it is different for everybody.. I don't like the person that she has become because I know that it's lies but I choose to remember the good times that I had with her because I know that if I keep dwelling on the bad and what she did to me, that I would go crazy.

I can't allow her to live rent free in my head and bring me down. I won't do that. I know that, in the end, karma is a bitch. =)

[sdlucly]

I know what you mean. A part of me knows that he's doing this because, for years, he's always had this need to impress his family, to be the person he never was. And to them (his family) nothing impressed them more than for him to be the son that "made it" as he was living in Spain and working and being all worldly and shit. He wanted that, he wanted to keep being that person, and he couldn't if he came back. Nevermind that coming back meant being with me