The Ultimate Adam Lambert Pimp Post of Doom Part I
A.K.A. The Second Coming of Christ : How Adam Lambert Accidentally My Whole Life
A.K.A. TL;DR XDD;
BUT NO, REALLY, THIS IS SRS BSNS. This guy has strutted into my dull life, let loose a typhoon in it then walked away, leaving me a trail of sparkly rainbow and glittery starlight to desperately chase. I've never been quite the same person ever since. He's fricking Julius Caesar and I'm the land of the Gauls. Clobbered and conquered.
If you're an Adam stan, or an ontd_ai bench, nothing on this post is new to you. This is, after all, a pimp post. The hope is to show non-fan people (you know, those normal, sane people who don't think American Idol is a life-changing TV experience? @God, I'm used to be one of them...) what they've been missing. This post is long, super wordy, pic-spammy and it goes all the way back to the Season 8, where it all started. Long novel is effing long. There won't be any embedded videos, though, since I actually want my own browser to survive this post. All video references will be in the form of links.
But despite all that...
YOU WILL READ THIS AND BOW TO THE EPICNESS OF THE MAGICAL GLITTERY UNICORN PRINCE.
Or, okay, maybe you won't... :P But if you're interested, or if you have a lot of time to waste...
Okay, first off...
DISCLAIMER : This post contains tons of images, videos and articles taken from various sources on the internet, both official and fan-made (All macros are from ontd_ai. I 'pershate these fierce, hysterical benches! ♥). I'd love to credit every source if I could, but I didn't exactly keep track of every single thing. Trust me, I'm not proud of this. If you own these images/videos/articles and would like me to credit you or even take them down, drop me a note and I will :)
Also, I want to apologize in advance for my grammar fail. I try my best, I really do. But I fail anyway. Despite of that, I'm still shamelessly writing this post because I feel really strongly in sharing this with other people (and by other people, I mean the two Adam stans in my flist who don't really need to read this in the first place, LOL).
Now, with that out of the way, it's time for the giant wall of text and glorious picspams!
TRUFAX.
For those of you who haven't heard of Adam Lambert (probably because (a) you have a life and therefore, you're awesome, (b) you've been consumed by your fandoms, or (c) you're understandably super determined to avoid any American Idol-related news), he's the guy that made a wreck out of the American Idol stage this season with his sheer talent, explosive performances, and that nosebleed-inducing, drool-worthy sexiness that had both women, gay men and a whole range of sexually confused people across America voting for him like some blue-balled maniacs. He didn't win the competition, but who could say that he really lost? The media is abuzzed with news about him, reporting on his every move. The industry keeps a close eye on him. Everyone is waiting with bated breath for his debut album to determine if he really is a legend in the making or just another rockstar wannabe.
The first time I learned about him was when some of my f-list brought him up on Plurk and Twitter. I caught the words "American Idol" and I automatically blocked them out, because srsly, I've seen the second season. I didn't feel like I needed to see more. But my friends wouldn't shut up about this Adam Lambert guy. They also mentioned the bromance he had with the other finalist (Kris Allen, this year's American Idol winner). Okay, so THAT got me interested, kinda. But I've never actually sat down and listened to this guy until my birthday last May, when shiroki_kun stayed over and we spent the entire weekend watching some of Adam's AI performances on YouTube. Then we moved on to streaming the last few AI episodes. Then to lj communities. Then to news sites, gossip blogs, fansites, forums, photo galleries, twitters... Basically, all hell broke loose after that.
To keep things simpler, here's a list of the things I know and love about Adam Lambert :
His Voice
OMG. OMFG. THE BOY CAN SING, OH YES HE CAN. I totally went O___________________o the first time I heard him sing. He sounds like the long lost God of Rock with a vocal range that would probably intimidate Mariah Carey (here are two videos that show off his vocal range & compares them to those of Whitney Houston, Celine Dion & Aretha Franklin). Vocally, he's Robert Plant meets Freddy Mercury. I kid you not. In fact, in the DigitalDreamForum, a music forum where performers in different genres are discussed and ranked on their technical merits, Lambert holds the #2 position right above Mercury (while Plant is #21). I know, I know, I didn't believe it either. But the further I read that thread, the more I realize these people are serious. More detailed comparison here.
Born to Be Wild, taken from Songs from the Cinema Week. Also, stretchy pants FTW!
His voice is so damn versatile. In some songs, he croons like a tender lover, while in others he boogies to 70's disco beats and swings like he's winning the Jazz Week (which he totally did, IMHO). It's so obivious that the judges were all enamoured with him, even the usually unimpressionable Simon Cowel, who gave him a standing ovation to Adam's first Mad World performance (Smokey Robinson of the Motown fame also gave a standing O after Adam's rendition of Smokey's own Tracks of My Tears). They kept saying how Adam was too theatrical, but every week you'd see them praising his voice, vocal range, originality, song choice, stage presence... you name it, they've praised it.
Here are the comments the AI guest mentors made about his voice:
Smokey Robinson (Motown Week) : "I love hearing other people's interpretation of my songs. I've never heard "The Tracks of My Tears" sung like that. I was very proud of Adam's interpretation of that song."
Quentin Tarrantino (Idol at the Movies Week) : "If this is a competition looking for rock stars, he's the real deal. I still haven't seen what he's going to do. I just got the taste of it, but I really enjoyed the taste. So I'm very interested to see the whole thing."
Jamie Foxx : "Absolutely incredible! You don't care about who I am at all. You took me in, and you took me up, you got here, you brought me down, and with that, I'm crying." "He can sing with the best of him. He's gonna be great."
Slash (Rock Week) : "Adam's got some pipes, you know! He's got so much range and it's so easy. It comes to him so easy, it's like effortless."
And, apparently, some San Diego-based opera experts share similar positive reviews on his voice, while Brian May, the lead guitarist of Queen, is clearly a fan :
"And I was privileged to hear a track that the guys have finished for Adam Lambert...a song for a forthcoming film "2012". I have to say I was completely blown away...it's truly sensational. In fact it's so obviously a number one smash, any bookie would be mad to take bets on it. I am not kidding. I'm not easily moved to jelly by male vocalists...but Adam's voice reaches out with sensitivity, depth, maturity, and awesome range and power which will make jaws drop all around the world. It's an awesome performance. No doubt about it. The world of rock has a bright new star."
Fanboy much, May? But, seriously, the fact that Brian fucking May fanboys over Adam is too much to handle for me... The 2012 song will be released sometime around October-November this year, so we'll see about that, May. We'll see.
So presh!
If you've never heard him sing, I highly recommend you to, especially if you like classic 70's rock and glamrock of the 80's. If you're not into rock at all, I still recommend you to listen to his ballad covers, like "Tracks of My Tears" (Smokey Robinson), "Mad World" (Tears for Fears), "One" (U2), or even "If I Can't Have You" (Yvonne Elliman). My personal favorites are "Whole Lotta Love" (Led Zeppelin), the Kiss medley ("Beth", "Detroit Rock City" "Rock and Roll All Nite"), "Feeling Good", "A Change is Gonna Come" (Sam Cooke), and "Cryin' (Aerosmith).
No, sorry, don't ask me for any mp3 download. You can get them on iTunes. They're totally worth the $0.99 price tag. I want him to get all the support he can get, so get your ass on it! >:p
You can enjoy his TV performances, though! I put some links in "His Performances" section further down. AND NO, DAMMIT, GIVING YOU LINKS TO HIS VIDEOS ISN'T THE SAME AS GIVING YOU DOWNLOADS OF HIS HIGH QUALITY MP3s. TOOOOOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS. HDU ACCUSE ME OF THIS. SUPPORT ADAM!
His Sexuality
Adam Lambert is gay.
From left to right : A primitive ape, Kris Allenus, Matt Giraudus, Danny Gokeyus and our Head Bitch in Chargeus.
NO, SHIT. HE'S VERY, VERY GAY.
OH NO, NO. I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR GAY. ALSO, RHINESTONES ON HIS EYELIDS.
ARGUMENTS EVERYWHERE ARE INVALIDATED.
HE'S SOOOOO GAY THAT IF HE GETS ANY GAYER, NO AMOUNT OF GLITTER IN THE WORLD COULD EVER COME CLOSE TO OUTSHINE HIM.
Photographic proof of his gay. Crotch sunshines can never not convince you.
The fact that he's gay makes him even hotter for me. Yeah, I'm amazingly logical like that. The issue of his sexuality came to public eyes when photos of him lip-locking with his ex-boyfriend were spread around the internet. Since then, more pictures of him wearing drag queen dresses and various interesting outfits began to pop up here and there. Also, videos of him performing in clubs and bacchanalias.
Adam Lambert and Brad "Cheeks" Bell
Also with Cheeks. And tongues.
ICU, LEFT NIPPLE, YEARNING TO COME OUT.
NOT GONNA LIE, I'D HIT IT. I'D HIT IT LIKE A BOSS.
Taken from one of his The Zodiac Show appearances, which is FRICKIN' SIIIIICK.
There were speculations that this would ruin Adam's chance in the competition. The media was hungry for his official confirmations for "the questions dangling over his head" ("I kind of like things dangling over my head anyway," Adam responds with a smirk later in Rolling Stone). But due to the AI management's strict rule that forbids the contestants to speak freely to the media until they're voted off the show, Adam gladly kept quiet.
Surprisingly, though, support for him kept going strong. Hell, he even made it as far as the Top 2 and he did it with professionalism, class and talent, talent, talent. It's a true testament to how sheer talent could overcome even the hardest of hurdles: ignorance and hate. The audience (and maybe also 19E management) simply couldn't ignore that much talent and boot him off the show. There were rumors that he didn't win because middle America couldn't handle his sexuality, to which Adam keeps repeating that Kris Allen won fair and square. Kris did get the most votes.
For the sake of the argument, let's just ignore some theories that assume the most profitable reality show in America is rigged. Even so, the fact that Adam stayed a front runner up to Top 2 is still a huge compliment to his potential as a recording artist.
Three days after the season's Finale, Adam made an official "coming out" statement (even though he's never been in the closet to begin with) in the June edition of Rolling Stone, for which he also covered.
According to Neil, Adam's brother, this is Adam’s best “Which of your kids am I going to defile? Son or daughter?” face. OH NEIL.
I don't think it should be a surprise for anyone to hear that I'm gay," Adam says to Rolling Stone. "Right after the finale, I almost started talking about it to the reporters, but I thought, 'I'm going to wait for Rolling Stone, that will be cooler'. I didn't want the Clay Aiken thing and the celebrity-magazine bullshit. I need to be able to explain myself in context."
Later, he adds, "I'm proud of my sexuality. I embrace it. It's just another part of me."
About the leaked photos, he was particularly nervous about the drag ones. He was "worried that people might think it was his true nature".
"I've only dressed in drag three or four times - and of course I took pictures, because I looked amazing - but I don't tuck and wear breasts, that's not me," he says. "Sucking my boy's face? Yes,that I will own."
You can see how this RS article quickly becomes the bible for all Adam Lambert worship. It's really not a surprise that his cover is the best selling RS of the year. It was sold out faster than you can say "I LOVE DISCO STICKS".
He also speaks about his sexuality and his family discovery of it on the 20/20 interview with ABC News (also this one with Neil Lambert) and Entertainment Weekly's Idolatry (the videos are in 5 parts. There are also Kris Allen & Allison Iraheta's interview there I think interesting to watch, if you're a fan).
But even after outing himself to the whole world, support for him hasn't wavered. Shove THAT up your ass, Gene Simmons. On tour, in every cities, women and young girls (and some men) alike go batshit crazy over him. Most of them has looked past his sexual preference (Adam Lambert : Invalidating Sexual Preferences since 2009), but unfortunately, some are still under the impression that Adam is bi-curious and they're harboring a not-so-secret wish that he'll be interested in women someday (ICU, GLAMBERTS >:/). These people can never not make me laugh, but whatev, whatev. As long as people are still flocking to see him, I'll keep my laughter to myself.
His Stage Persona and Performances
If you've seen him perform, you'd know what I'm talking about. He's confident, self-assured and comfortable on stage, something he must have learned from spending almost all his life doing musical theaters. Like a true born-performer that I believe he is, he always makes a show out of every performance. Its always interesting to see what else he comes up with next. On the Idol Live! tour, it's clear to everyone who sees him live that he really has that star quality. Media raves about him in their reviews, it's insane! I don't think I've ever found an Idol tour review on him that isn't a rave.
He also admits that he's "ridiculous, likes to surprise people, and kind of attention-getting, therefore he's glad he's found his calling at an early age and stuck with it" (these came from his own mouth during various interviews). I'm glad too, BB.
That's what he's like on stage. That's his stage persona that have captivated so many people across America to come see him live on the Idol Live! Tour 2009. The minute his performance is over, that's when he slides back from Lambert, God of Rock, into Adam, fun-loving, sweet, gracious, honest LA party boy. It's kind of inhuman how a person can separate two sides of his self into different personalities and manage the transition ever so smoothly. You can easily see that transition if you watch his AI performances closely. After his song ends, there's usually a moment when he gets silent for a few short seconds and then breaks into a wide grin. The wide grin is a sign that Adam is back in the house.
My favorite performances of his :
Whole Lotta Love (Rock Week)
Video : on YouTube
Black or White (MJ Week)
Video : on YouTube | on MySpace
The MySpace video includes the judges' comments. This performance was right after photos of him kissing a guy were leaked to the internet, so yeah, this song means a lot to him in so many levels. He sang this song in one of his most vulnerable moments. When the judges gave him outstanding reviews, he broke down a little and got teary eyed. It's a really beautiful sight to see...
Feeling Good (Rat Pack Standards Week)
Video : on YouTube
Ring of Fire (Grand Ole Opry Week)
Video : on YouTube
Mad World Reprise (Top 2 Night)
Video : on YouTube
Kiss Medley (Finale)
Video : on YouTube
Some of his pre-Idol performances that holds a special place in my ♥ :
Come Home, Upright Cabaret
I Can't Make You Love Me, Upright Cabaret
How Come You Don't Call Me Anymore, Upright Cabaret
Kiss from a Rose, Upright Cabaret
Crawl Thru Fire, The Zodiac Show
Crazy, an Arts4Life event | Upright Cabaret
The Upright Cabaret performances were from the 2008 New Year's Eve show, a short time after Adam and Brad, his ex-boyfriend, broke up. In some of the ballads (Come Home & I Can't Make You Love Me), it's obvious that he struggles through the songs and actually cries at the end. It's really heartbreaking for me to watch those videos, but they're also my favorite. Kara DioGuardi, who says he can't really connect to his songs, can simply GTFO & DIAF.
All eyes--gay or not--are on him when he's on stage. Who could resist the smoldering of his eyes, the smooth roll of his hips, the graceful slither of his body? And most importantly, his provocative...um, style...
"Waaaay down insiiiiiide, baybeeeeh~~~"
HO SHIIIIII---- ASLDJFAIFASDF
It doesn't help that he touches himself a lot on stage... And by a lot I mean A LOT.
WHY YES, OF COURSE I HAVE VIDEOS OF THAT. WHAT IS MY LIFE.
EXHIBIT A
EXHIBIT B
AND NOW I GIVE YOU THE SINGING GLAMBULGE. YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH GLAMBULGE.
....STILL THERE? GOOD. Stay with me for a little bit more, okay, we're just getting started.
You can get his other AI performances here (btw, I didn't upload any of these):
Torrent : Compilation of Adam's AI performances (sans judge reviews & group performances) is here.
Torrent : Compilation of Adam's every appearance on AI (with judge & guest mentor reviews, sans group performances) is here.
Stream online : Eps. 33 - 40 (Finale) of AI here (you can turn off the annoying theme song using the player on the bottom right of the page =_=).
YouTube : Go to SarcaCynicWitticist's channel on YouTube for some HQ AI performance videos. But hurry, you never know how long those vids will be up on YouTube :(
I'm still gathering the best of the tour videos right now. I'll compile them in a new post later when I'm done, most likely after the tour ends (NOOOO, I DON'T WANT THE TOUR TO END!)
Since LJ is a bitch and won't let me put everything in one post, The Ultimate Adam Lambert Pimp Post of Doom continues. You ain't seen nothing yet. The second part is the best part!
If you've read up to this point, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO READ MOAR. I KNOW YOU GIGGLED AT THE SINGING GLAMBULGE AND NOW YOU JUST CAN'T HAVE ENOUGH OF HIM. GO ON. CLICKETYCLICK HERE!