Friday I'll Be Over U
19E, YOU'RE MAKING ME LEGIT TERRIFIED ABOUT ADAM'S ALBUM NOW. JIVE RECORDS, NO COOKIES FOR YOU.
So, Allison Iraheta released her debut single earlier today (Or yesterday, according to my timezone. IDEK my timezone anymore. My biological clock has been on western time for the past 4 months...). Knowing 19E and Allison's target market, I've expected to hear some teenage pop-rock tunes ala Avril, Kelly or Katy Perry's Waking Up in Vegas. Having listened to the single, I SRS'D and I SRS'D some more, then I kinda VOM'D a little bit, out of fear. My take on the song? Dude, I admit it's catchy. And it's teeny. Oh yes, it's teeny all right. But it's Demi-Miley kind of teen bubblegum pop-rock, IMHO. Fear, I tell ya.
THE SONG.
Now, I love my girl rockers. I love me some kick-ass girly pop-rock/punk songs. I really, really do. It's my thing. Guilty pleasures, whatever, call it what you will. I love it, OK. This new Ally's single? Not so much...
First off, why so pop, Max Martin? With Ally's husky voice and established rocker image, you could've easily made the song lean more on the rock side. Hell, drop the music and have Ally sings a note, you've already got yourself some serious rock. But no, no, you have to drown her rich, mature, classic rock voice under layers and layers of autotunes that if I didn't know it was Ally's song, I wouldn't have recognized her...
Secondly, I get that you're the man responsible for my favorite Pink's (and Kelly's and Katy Perry's) songs, but I can't help but feel that this song is a reject that didn't make it into Pink's Funhouse. The song screams Pink so much (after you strip down the autotunes, of course), which is to be expected, naturally. I mean, look at Ryan Tedder, who keeps writing songs that sound the same. Ask Kelly, she'd know, hahah. And Allison said she looks up to Pink, whatev, whatev. I know the kind of rock that girl loves. Think Janis Joplin, Heart, Cyndi Lauper. Hell, have you even heard her sing The Temptation's Papa Was A Rolling Stone? The girl's got the soul and the vocal maturity to kill those songs of the legends, which I'm well aware won't sell as much as the Demi-Selena-Miley formula, but come on, man. At least give her something along the line of "So What" or "Since U Been Gone", quality wise, and make it all rock/punk-ish even, ala Avril's The Best Damn Thing or Girlfriend. Allison has better vocals than all of them combined together, JFC.
I'm still going to buy her album, though, because I love that girl and her voice. But now I know what to expect. To be honest? I don't expect I'll find anything I genuinely like. I hope in the future Ally gets to release the kind of album that she really, really wants to release.
But you, Mr. Martin, you better get your shit together for that song you're working on in Adam's album, because if you pull a stunt like this on him, Imma cut a bench. Imma cut a bench fo real.
And Jive Records, I don't think I can trust you now... With that rushed-out LLWD song for Kris and this bubblegum fuckery for Allison, you're quickly losing my favor (which, of course, means nothing to you because I don't own Sony Music...BUT STILL! THE RAGE COUNTS!). RCA Records, you better treat Adam real nice. You do not wish to anger the Glamberts. They are cray cray, easily butthurt, and as emotionally stable as cats in a sinking sack...
