The Chase For Fame :: IX
Contents
- Chapter 33 Trisha Kirby
- Chapter 34 Chase-And-Michael Show
- Chapter 35 Chicken Pox
- Chapter 36 Wired For Battle
Chapter 33 Trisha Kirby
33.1 Kidnapped innocence
A few weeks later, after Thanksgiving break, I walked the campus, along with Zoey, Quinn, and Lola.
We found Dustin and his friends Max, Henry, and Jack.
The other boys were cackling.
Overprotective Zoey wondered, “what’s going on?”
Dustin feigned innocence.
Max squealed, “Dustin has got a new girlfriend.”
Zoey grunted, “whom?”
Dustin urged ghis friends to shut up.
But Max failed to keep his mouth closed. “it’s Trisha Kirby 1!”
Max, Henry, and Jack ran away, leaving Dustin behind.
Zoey was consternated. “That loose wench?”
Trisha was agewise in the middle between us and Dustin. She had already seduced and abused several boys.
Apparently, Dustin was her current victim.
Zoey feared her to exercise a very bad influence on her baby pet. “If you date one like Trisha, all girls will run for you, never leaving you in peace.”
Dustin squealed for delight. “Cool! That’s really fantastic. Tonight I’m going to go to cinema with Trisha, and thereafter, who knows …”
Zoey went as pale as a flake of fresh snow. She was in particular worried about the thereafter.
I didn’t worry about Dustin. “A boy like him has to go througfh the experiences a guy has to go through.”
Zoey protested. “But not at his age! He’s still too young and innocent. Trisha is going to steal everything off him and then drop him like a hot potato.”
I wondered, “how do you know in advance?”
Zoey talked about her sisterly instinct.
Arguing over that with her was absolutely in vain.
I had to go a different way for now.
Ashley followed me. “Chase, I need another play.” She always did.
I asked her. “OK. Do you know about Dustin and Trisha Kirby?”
Ashley nodded in a cold manner. Upon my successive request, she told me about the relevant events in her chemistry classes. “Trisha behaves impossibly in the laboratory. She blows up everything. Henry, her involuntary partner, was desperate. Mr. Gangrel, our teacher, thence assigned Dustin as Trisha’s partner. Knowing him as very acribical and conscientious, he deemed Dustin right for keeping Trisha at Bay, especially during his absence. And then it happened.”
I had listened carefully, nodding on and off. “The lab blew up?”
Ashley shook her head. “Not yet. Trisha started flirting with Dustin. And he was defenseless. She gave him her number, writing it onto his skin.”
I shuddered.
Ashley waved and ran away.
33.2 Heart of a child
Zoey had urged me once more to talk some sense into Dustin.
Anyways, I was still unable to see anything wrong with Dustin and Trisha.
Dustin was still searching for his way and for the type of girl suiting him most.
I had been writing a lot about this, unfortunately almost always in abandoned plays.
Recently, Ashley forced me more and more to bring a play to an end.
I still didn’t always succeed.
But I remembered most of my plans, anyways.
Needless to say, not being convinced of my task made this attempt of ‘making Dustin more resposnsible’ as impossible as lighting fire by rubbing two thoroughly soap-soaked pieces of wood against each other.
The result was exactly the contrary of Zooey’s proper intentions.
Dustin was more and more convinced of becoming a greater girls’ man than even Logan Reese.
Zoey now forced me to talk to Trisha.
She was sitting on the rim oof the campus fountain and sorted some coins. She was not throwing them into the fountain, as suggested by some old superstition, but she was collecting them off the well.
I said, “you know, Dustin is just turning eleven.”
Trisha shrugged. “So what?”
I sighed. “He’s fairly young, don’t you think so?”
Trisha shrugged again. “Why?”
I tried to explain, “maybe older boys are more into stuff you are looking for, such as making out and kissing.”
Trisha turned around and beamed. “Is that so?”
I nosdded solemnly. I appear to have struck a chord in the loose lass. I smiled for glee.
Trisha jumped up. “Now I know what you mean. Older boys, such as … you!”
I tried to shake my head. “I am already dating Zoey, and you know that.”
Trisha grunted, “Zoey is a very boring girlfriend. Otherwise you would kiss her.”
I sighed. “this has got completely different reason.” Alas, I was unable to explain the reasons for my reluctance with respect to kissing Zoey brooks.
Trisha didn’t understand them anyways. “You may be dating Zoey, but you are looking for a real woman like me, not for a holy virgin.”
I went totally pale.
What was I able to reply?
Trisha grunted, “it’s all in ‘your girlfriend’s’ DVD.”
I was consternated.
Trisha had seen Zoey’s DVD or come to hear about its contents. She threw her arms around me.
I was too consternated to struggle against her tightening grip.
She pulled me closer and closer.
Some kids may have seen us in this situation.
Zoey was going to be jealous and trash me, leaving me in the dust bin of history.
Even worse, Dustin was going to hate me forever for having made Trisha break his heart.
This was so disgusting.
I threw up.
Trisha pulled away from me.
But it was probably too late for getting away with a black eye.
33.3 Little girl’s downfall
During the following days, I avoided carefully both Trisha and Zoey, let alone Dustin.
Michael had tried hard to get me to talk to Zoey about the situation.
But I lacked the gutrs to do so.
Michael started slowly to believe in the rumours caused by Zoey’s DVD.
The situation was horrible.
The thought of everyone thinking to know the reasons for my refusals to kiss Zoey was pinch binding and clamping my veins and my nerves to no end.
In the cafeteria, I could only see shadows.
Suddenly, Trisha approached me.
Her hair was styled differently then usual.
She said, “Chase, I have to talk to you.”
Her voice was unusually sweet.
But I was still seized by fits of panic and ran away like a rocket. Alas, I stumbled.
Ashley walked past me. She commanded one of her class mates, propably even a fanboy, to help me stand up. She was too diva-like to do that. “Chase, are you hiding from Trisha?”
I nodded carefully.
Ashley goggled. “This is not Trisha, it’s her ‘normal’ sister Melanie 2.”
I gasped.
Ashley pushed me into Melanie’s direction, rather, she commanded her fanboy to do that.
I excused myself upon reaching Melanie. “Sorry, I mistook you for …”
Melanie replied, “Trisha, or better, Samantha Puckett?” She smiled and told me to sit down.
I sighed. “So, what’s going on?”
Melanie explained, “I’m Melanie. Sam and I, we are twins. We come from a very bad family from downtown Seattle. Most of our relatives died in prison or disappeared hiding from the cops, especially our dad.”
I gasped. “Sorry!”
Melanie continued. “due to a state program, we have been sent to this school in order to become decent girls. I had to struggle hard. Sam isn’t yet so far. She had been assigned a fake name. Mr. Kirby 3, our math teacher, holds temporary guardianship over us. Alas, he has got a hard time with Trisha. She’s here since Thanksgiving and already so close to getting expelled again.”
I gasped.
Melanie begged. “Sam is close to flunking this last chance. In Seattle, she will most likely and up as a tomboyish street hooker. I don’t want that. She needs to stay here. She needs friends like you and Zoey in order to get out of the pitchy swamp.”
I sighed deeply. I pitied the Puckett sisters, including Trisha. Then I promised Melanie to take care of all that.
She thanked and smiled.
33.4 Shallow grave
I crossed the campus, stumbling upon a muddy spot in the soil.
Theis ground had previously been chosed for our time capsule.
Alas, Quinn’s invention had rendered us unconscious.
Kids had stolen the capsule or its contents.
Trisha must have heard others talk about it.
But many kids were fully aware of Zoey’s words.
Alas, I wasn’t.
This made me totally angry. I should have listened to the little devil commanding me to dig the soil and see Zoey’s DVD before the entombment.
But the grave was robbed, like Egyptian pyramids.
My life, my hope, and my future had altogther been sealed away in the coffin.
Now little predators were feasting on my decaying shredded remains.
I was about shedding many a tear, making the ground get soaked with salent water.
Lola walked along. “Hi Chase!”
I sighed. “Lola? Has Lola sent you in order to rub salt into my wounds?”
Lola didn’t exactly understand. Like almost all others , she had assumed me to have cheated on Zoey with Trisha, deeming the latter as a real girl and Zoey as an untouchable holy virgin. But she assumed me to be able to regret everything. “I will talk to Zoey, should you rue your adulterous deeds.”
I gasped. “I haven’t tried to do anything with Trisha, honestly. I was just unable to defend myself.”
Lola shrugged. “So, what do you really feel for Zoey?”
I explained, “she is so perfect. I wouldn’t want anyone else. I just don’t feel yet worthy of touching her.”
Lola sighed deeply. “I have once tried out for a similar situation in a movie. It was based on Herman Melville’s Pierre Or The Ambiguities.”
“Melville rings a bell. That’s the guy from Moby Dick,” replied I.
Lola nodded. “I don’t know that other novel. The director told me about it. I only know Shakespeare well, I mean, his works. He isn’t living anymore , ain’t he?”
I nodded. “Correct. He’s somewhere in his tomb, unless it got looted like our time capsule.”
Lola grinned sarcastically. She promised to talk to Zoey about it. “It’s pne of my duties as a class pressie, ain’t it?”
I nodded solemnly. I guess so!
She smiled and walked away. She also believed my words about Sam and Melanie. She had often been confusaed with some of her female relatives, such as her little sisters Shelby 4 and Viviana 5, her cousins Victoria Vega and Tamara Deison 6.
I waved after her and sighed deeply.
33.5 Touched by an angel
Two days later, I came to see Zoey again in the cafeteria.
She had to talk to me. She didn’t kill me on site.
I assumed Lola and Zoey to have had a conversation, based on my recent talk with Lola. I dared to sigh for some relief.
Zoey started. “Sorry for accusing you of having cheated on me. Lola has told me everything.”
I panted heavily. “So … you believe me?”
Zoey nodded clearly. “It wasn’t easy, though. But now we can be friends again. We shouldn’t be dating, though.”
I gasped.
Zoey explained, “see, I have assmed not to be good enough for your expectations. Now I know this not to be the case. It’s quite the contrary. You think me too good and show a lot of respect for me. Way too much. But this makes us not peers. And I don’t want to be treated like an angel. I’m no less a girl than Lola or Nicole. ”
I sighed. “Have I said anything to the contrary?”
Zoey shook her head. “You don’t have to say it. You feel so. And , after all, I may now feel what you feel.”
I sobbed and nodded at last. “OK … friends!”
Zoey smiled.
I wondered, “how is Dustin taking it all?”
Zoey sighed. “He is now over Trisha. He is too sensitive to support a dishonest and promiscuous girlfriend. Ashley has enlightened him , in her ice cold manner, as well.”
I wondered, “what will happen to Trisha? Melanie asked me …”
Zoey nodded. “I pity her, thence I’m going to teach her discipline and manners in order to beware her from ending up the way feared by Melanie. I hope to be patient enough. It won’t be easy.” She ran a few thingers smoothly through my bushy hair.
This must have been the touch of an angel.
I smiled peacefully.
1 identifies Trisha from Zoey 101 : Bad Girl with Samantha Puckett from iCarly 2 cf. iCarly : iTwins 3 cf. Zoey 101 : Defending Dustin
there’s no connection between them in the canon 4 from iCarly : iFight Shelby Marx 5 from True Jackson VP : True Crush 6 from Spectacular!
Chapter 34 Chase-And-Michael Show
34.1 All sorts of complicated
As aforementioned, our school had its own TV channel, run by Jeremiah Trottman.
But, as per entertainment, PCA TV used to be excessively lame.
Thus Michael had got the idea of making our own web show, “it’s as easy as … we look into a web can and say something.”
I stuttered, “and everyone will see us?”
Michael nodded. “isn’t that great?”
I wondered, “but we may see them,too? Like in Quinn’s two-way TV?”
Michael scratched his head. “No, I don’t think so. That would be hundreds of kids!”
I gasped. “We’ll be seen by hundreds of kids? Wow! I mean, that was the case in school theatre, but they were right in front of us.”
Michael bounced around. He had borrowed a web cam from Quinn Pensky and placed it in front of us.
I started getting nervous.
Drake had recently told me about some strange event.
Josh had been invited to do the weather forecast on his dad’s behalf. He was incredibly nervous due to knowing about the danger of getting terribly embarrassed.
Megan had taunted him with that.
Josh had not been unable to withstand the preessure. He had sweated all over.
Megan had put it onto the interweb, turning Josh into a laughingstock. 1
This was terrible.
Michael had had some trouble finding the right button.
Quinn’s web cam was particularly complicated.
There was a red button labeled “green”, a gree button labeled “blue”, and an unlabeled blue button.
Touching either of those caused a squaking noise and flashing lamps.
My bones and my marrow cramped excessively from the penetrating sound.
But we supposed to be online.
Michael wondered, “shouldn’t we have counted down, from five to one, as the directorrs of Malcolm Reese always do?”
I shrugged.
Michael continued, “on the other hand, I don’t like the one, it is so uncool.” 2
“You are uncool,” I replied.
Mark yawned in the background.
We had not expected him to be here.
But it was his dormitory room, as well.
We had prepared some handmade cartoon, using Quinn Pensky’s Toonmaker.
The cartoons featured caricatured versions of Michael and myself.
Alas, we had not yet got the hang out of it.
Like the web cam, Quinn’s programs were terribly complicated in many a conceivable sense.
But we appeared to get it somewhat done.
Our first episode of Chase-And-Michael-Show was complete.
We were now looking forward to reading the critics.
34.2 I offer no excuses
The next morning, we were looking into our school newspaper, the Daily Stingray.
Was there aleready an article about us?
Michael was already disappointing upon not finding us on the title page, complete with a large screen shot.
The title article was about Vince Blake’s new underwear.
Vince was our football team’s quarterback and thence quite often in the spotlights.
This was hardly a surprise.
But did they have to go that far?
I shuddered for disgust.
There was also a long article about the new wallpaper in Dean Rivers’s office.
Most of the paper was dedicated, just as usual, to the results and previews of our many sports teams.
Jeremiah Trottman was responsible for those pages.
At last there was something about our show.
I spotted it squeezed between cooking recipes and sales requests.
We gasped for dismay.
The reporter, one Robert Shapiro, scribbled, “this is the lamest excuse of a web show ever seen on the face of this planet.”
But, honestly, there was not much of a reason for us to contest the judgment.
Our show was just, plain and simple, bad.
We had not really prepared anything.
Well, fortunately not everyone had seen that article.
We hoped for the nect episodes to be a lot better. But we had to work hard on that.
Logan walked past us. He gaggled manically, “The loser show!”
I grubnted angrily, “shut up!”
Michael had to calm me down and prevent me from hitting Logan over his head.
I would have flunked it anyways and caused some ‘colateteral damager’.
Logan never read newspapers. He hated reading.
How did he know that?
Probably, our crappy show must have already been subject of rumours.
Those spread like wildfire on our campus.
Quinn and Mark passed by.
Quinn comforted her ‘future husband’. “It’s not your fault being forced to live with rto lamers.”
We sighed for despair.
Zoey walked up to us. She tried excruciatingly hard to remain somewhat polite. “Maybe my grandma would love to see something like that. I should make a video of it and send it to her.”
I shrugged helplessly.
It was lame, lame, lame.
34.3 Face down I cry
I was now hiding in my room.
The failed enterprise Chase-and-Michael Show was too hard to swallow and digest in one piece.
I had already thrown up thrice.
Now my stomach was too empty for repeating the same thing.
Michael wasn’t feeling much better.
His head was hanging ’neath his knees.
I pressed my face hard against the pillows, weeping like a little baby.
There was a voice at the door.
Apathetical Mark del Figgalo slouched to the door in order to open it.
Ashley stood there, holding a half-peeled banana in her brittle hands. “I could use another play. This time, it should feature my extremely sweet smile.” She swallowed a bit of her banana.
I would have coughed about this.
Ashley’s ‘smile’ was even colder than the iceberg sinking the Titanic.
But I had to do it, no matter what.
Michael seemed to have an idea. “Ashleym you are a very opopyular upscaling actress, ain’t you?”
Ashley smirked. “Of course!”
Michael asked, “would you please perform in our web show?”
Ashley’s face cramped at whim. “What? Are you crazy? Performing in the lousiest web show ever would be suicide for my career.”
I shrugged helplessly.
Michael sobbed.
Ashley continued, “only inept actresses like Lola Martinez would ever want to perform in such a crappy show. I can do better. Have a nice day!” She had now eaten the rest of her banana. She flang the peel away, making it land on top of Mark del Figgalo’s head with a thud.
Mark’s eyes were now covered by one strand each of the banana’s peel.
He looked aghast.
Ashley was gone.
And so was our last hope, at least for the time being.
But I had got an idea. “Why not do exactly that … let’s ask Lola Martinez to perform in our show?”
Michael scratched his head. “You mean Lola has got less pride than her colleague Ashley?”
I sighed. “At least she isn’t such an arrogant and spoiled vixen.”
Michael shrugged. “That sounds like something worth a try.”
I nodded solemnly.
WE walked out in order to goo and look for Lola.
Mark whimpered, “could any of you remove the thing off my head? I can’t see much.”
I shrugged and grabbed the peel off Mark, shuddering with disgust. I let it drop into the trash bin and walked out.
34.4 Hold still, I’m trying to kill you
The next evening, Lola came with us. “It is like TV, you say?”
I nodded.
Lola continued, “in other words, I may be seen by many, many people at the same time?”
Michael grinned. “Sure, Lola!”
The fledgling star actress smiled with increasing glee.
Quinn had been following us. She wanted to fetch Mark for dinner.
Mark del Figgalo was unable to talke care of his schedule.
It was all written down in his laptop.
But he had no clue as of using such a miracle of modern technique appropriately. He thought of being in the laptop meaning to be retrieved by means of screwing open the case of the lap top and searching between all those chips.
Michael showed Lola the webcam.
Quinn was flabbergasted. “What are you doing with my webcam?”
I protested, “you’ve allowed us to use it.”
Quinn nodded. “But you are not using it properly. You only use one tenth of its potential, if not less.”
Michael and I looked consternated. But we should have expected it.
Quinn continued, “it seems you need a competent tech producer for your web show.” She grabbed the web cam and started taking over.
I started talking. “Welcome to our web show. Today, Hollywood star Lola Nartinez will playe a little skit for you. Applause for Lola!”
Michael triggered some fake applause, using a tool invented earlier by Quinn.
Lola grinned. She held a banapple in her hands. “Yummy, a banapple!” She made the banan tremble and twitch in her hand.
Quinn pushed a playback button, releasing the ‘voice’ of the living banana.
The obnoxious fruit started insulting Lola. “Your face is ugly!”
Lola grunted. “You shouldn’t have said that! Now I’m going to eat you!”
Unfortunately, the banapple slipped off Lola’s hand and started bouncing across the dorm.
Lola took a knife ad a fork and complained, “wait! I’m going to kill you.”
Alas, the banapple fruit jumped up and down.
Lola tried several times to grab it. But she failed miserably, stabbing all other sorts of things with her eating tools. Finally she gave up.
Suddenly, the banapple peeled itself.
The edible part landed automagically in Lola’s open mouth.
The peel fell once more on top of Mark’s head.
Quinn activated some artificial hysterical laughter.
I grinned. “This was our skit The girl and the Banana. Next week, Lola will perform a scene Shakespeare’s Macbeth. Thanks for watching!”
Now we had to hope for more merciful critics.
34.5 Amusingly inconsequential
The next day, we looked into the Daily Stingray.
As usual, it started with a big picture of a popular member of one of our athletic teams.
But right on page 3, there was something about our show.
Mark read for us. “This was the most funny thing ever shown on the campus of Pacific Coast Academy. We’ve seen a rising star on the sky of Hollywood: Lola Martinez! We all recomend this show. See you again next Wednesday at eight.”
Michael gasped.
The public opinion changed faster than a flash of lightening.
Zoey cheered for usd. “Wow! You’ve really got the hang out of it. May I show my latest fashion designs on your show?”
I asked, “for grandma?”
Zoey shook her head. “Teen fashion, of course. My designs are cool, your show is cool. The teenagers here love it,”
I smiled. “What do you want to present anyways?”
Zoey grinned. “Nothing special. I have started making plaid socks, with different colours. I still think something’s missing to it. But it may be cool, anyways.”
I nodded solemnly.
Dustin rushed in. “Zoey! Hi, Chase!”
I greeted the little bugger.
Dustin explained, “I want to sell my old books for children. I’m now eleven years old and ready to read more interesting ones. Maybe some viewer of Chase’s show wants to buy them off me.”
I nodded solemnly. “But of course!”
Micxhael suggested, “we could charge money for this kind of stuff.”
Zoey glared at Michael.
He modified his opinion, “But not from elementary school kids. Certainly from older ones.”
Zoey nodded solemnly.
Ashley stumbled in. “Chase! When will be my great performance in the Chase-And-Michael Show?”
I gasped.“Wouldn’t that be suicide for your career?”
Ashle glared at me in an outrageusly toxic manner.
Some people change their opinion faster than others.
I had to consent Ashley her spot in our show, as well.
But how to reconcile having Lola and Ashley perform in the same show?
They were bitter rivals.
Yet we decided to give it a try, anyways.
1 cf. Drake & Josh : Blues Brothers 2 cf. Fredward Benson’s judgment throughout iCarly
Chapter 35 Chicken Pox
35.1 A bitter pill
The nurse’s station of the Pacific Coast Academy has aleady been mentioned on certain occasions.
All kids hated the evil nurse.
She stuffed us with terribly bitter medications and tortured us with a horror legth of a syringe and other cruel tools.
None of us could help thinking about the station with dismay and disgust.
And this time of the year, an epidemical wave of chicken pox had seized the Pacific Coast Academy.
Dustin was one of the first victims.
I was incredibly sad for him.
Fortunately, Zoey had promised to look after him each day after classes.
Why had Quinn not invented a means against chicken pox? Wait, she probably had done so.
But Zoey would not have wanted her to use it on Dustin.
I had already gone through that disease before my arrival at Pacific Coast Academy.
Unfortunately this was not the case for Michael and Mark.
Thus I had to be careful whenever dragging stuff from sick pupils to my room.
Michael and Mark could have caught the chicken pox at whim.
In the case of Mark turning sick, Quinn would have killed first me for doing that to her sweetheart, and then Mark with a cure for that illness, be it bitter pills, electroshocks, and so on.
Zoey bounded in. “Dustin’s roomies have already gone through the disease earlier on. But he doesn’t want to return to his dorm, anyways.”
I gasped. “That’s impossible! Everyone is happy for being allowed to leave the lion’s den. No pupil may stabnd the fury of a nurse.”
Zoey whistled innocently.
I wondered, “what do you mean?”
Zoey shrugged “Nothing. By the way, Dustin has asked me an important question.”
I wanted to know, “what question?”
Zoey explained, “is it possibly to spread chicken pox by kissing?”
I shrugged. “Ask Quinn! She’s the nerd.”
Zoey glared at me and grabbed me. “Why does he ask so? He must have kissed a girl, as of recent. His dirty affair with Trisha Kirby is already over since december. There must be another girl.”
I scratched my bushy hair. “You think so? Do little boys ask those questions after that?”
Zoey nodded vigorously. She was totally hell bent on finding out.
I wondered, “so why don’t you ask Dustin?”
Zoey grabbed me, “you will do so!”
I gasped. I was still Zoey’s slave.
Protests were futile …
I was forced to go and ask Dustin.
35.2 When death’s lips left mine
I entered the nurse’s station.
Dustin smiled and whistled merrily.
This was not typical for a victim of bitter pills and lkong, pointy syringes.
A nurse showed up. She was not the usual fury, but a lot younger and nicer.
Dustin grinned, “this is my new nurse, Shannon!”
I smiled and waved at her.
This explained Dustin’s good mood.
But I had to accomplish a mission imposed by Zoey. “OK, Dustin, chicken pox are very contagious. So, whom have you kissed since your infection?”
Dustin gasped.
Maybe I should not have been that direect? I sighed. “Sorry, Zoey forced me to ask you.”
Dustin remined silent.
I wondered, “or maybe you just don’t want to get the nurse contract the chicken pox?”
It was very dary to assume Dustin having a crush on a woman around thirty.
But Drake Parker’s step-brother Josh had a crush on a woman of like fifty years.
Dustin shook his head. “nurses have to be immune to common kids’ diseases. That’s a law here at Pacvific Coast Academy.
I shrugged. “Good to know …”
But this didn’t answer the question proper.
I kept on glaring at Dustin.
Alas, this just made a clown of myself.
But Dustin was ready to tell me in whispers.
I stepped closer.
Dustin told me, “OK, I’ve kissed Ashley Blake, just before discovering the pimples.”
I gasped for dismay.
The step from Trisha Kirby to Ashley Blake was a jump from the frying pan into the kettle of boiling watter.
How could Dustin have done something like that?
I shuddered.
Dustin explained, “Ashley was cold as ice. Rather, as cold as death.”
This was nothing new.
She had always been like that, no matter what.
I stammered, “so, the two of you are now dating?”
Dustin looked aghast. “Ashley wouldn’t even date me with Zoey’s approval.”
I shrugged.
Ashley had always treated Dustin in a very distanced manner.
I whispered, “so how did you come to kiss?”
Dustin explained, “that’s easy. Ashley was practising for a new play, involving a kiss. And she needed someone to practise with. It was like dying, but colder. Fortunately, it didn’t last long.”
Ashley was never tired of trying new plays.
I asked, “what is the name of the play?”
Dustin scratched his chin, inspite of not being allowed to scratch the pimples. “Kiss On A Spring Evening”
I gasped.
That was not just one of the plays Ashley was practising for. It was one of the plays written precisely for Ashley, by no other than the one and only … Chase Bartholomew Matthews.”
I felt totally miserable.
But maybe that wouldn’t have been all that bed.
Shannon would have nursed me healthy again.
This was definitely a better place, compared to bearing Mark del Figgalo’s nocturnal monologues.
But for the time being, I managed slouching out again.
Ashley was better staying healthy.
Otherwise, Vince woould kill Dustin for getting his little sister sick by a kiss. And he was going to kill me for having written that play.
35.3 Kisses of a night terror
I was back in my dorm.
Michael wanted to know a few details.
I started talking about the new nurse.
Michael started swooning to no end. “She must be incredibly hot!”
I replied, “but you haven’t yet caught the chicken pox. They are highly contahious. You won’t want to be in a room with Dustin and the other sick kids.”
Michael shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind getting sick for Shannon.” He whistled innocently. But what was he up to?
I had to activate my laptop.
Kiss On A Spring Evening was still saved there. It was not a very long play.
And the kiss was even more metaphorical.
Michael suggested, “Replace kiss with kill, and everything should be fine.”
I grinned. “That sounds cool!”
But then the whole genre was going to be changed.
Kill On A Spring Evening sounded like an impatient muurderer, unable to wait for the cover of the night.
And all that was supposed to happen on a calm may evening.
May is a month of love and life, not of death and destruction.
I’d also have been forced to chnge spring to fall, for that matter.
This was in demand of a lot of effort.
And my task had been that of emphasising Ashley’s sweet smile.
I was not supposed to emphasise her cold heart.
I wasn’t going to sleep that night.
The words kiss and kill were going to haunt my head badly, making it spin round and round like a record, or like the whole world.
How had Dustin even been able to survive Ashley’s kiss?
In connection with the cold-hearted diva, kiss and kill were definitely synonymous.
It was going to be one endless night terror.
35.4 Trembling cold
Next morning, Michael was covered all over with disgusting pimples.
A cup of paint and other things were lying right next to him.
I had to drag him, covered in thick rags, into the nurse’s station.
He had to be stuck into one of the free beds. He whimpered like crazy, calling for the nurse. He swooned to no end upon spotting the young auxiliary nurse.
Shannon was worried. “OK, I will call the responsible nurse.”
Michael gasped. “Responsible nurse?”
Dustin waved at us. He explained, “nurse Shannon is only responsible for the elementary school kids. Whereas for you high school freaks …”
I shrugged helplessly.
Suddenly, the old disgusting fury stood in the door, yelling at michael.
My pal trembled and shivered. He felt suddenly a whole lot colder.
The nurse walked over to a cupboard, taking some syringe with a particularly long needle.
Michael screamed for his life.
But it was for no avail.
The living shrapnel tied him down to a bed. Then she stuffed some smelly pills into his mouth.
Michael was going to be so mad at me for having failed to mention the detail about the distribution of the tasks of various nurses here.
Of course, those details were new to me as well.
The door went open again.
Vince and Ashley stood in the door.
Ashley’s face was covered with chicken pox.
Even a healthy Ashley Blake caused people around her to feel a lot colder. And in her current state, she was even more terrifying.
An icy gust seized all of us.
Ashley had probably alreasty told Vince about Kiss on A Spring Evening.
This increased my horror.
I was now so due for getting pounded into oblivion by the bully quarterback. I had to flee.
The way out through the door was blocked.
Thus I jumped through the window.
The shivering cold had made me particularly clumsy.
I fell through the window, unable to keep balance.
Ouch!
Even Vince Blake wouldn’t have hurt me all that much.
35.5 Antiseptic air
I woke up a few hours later.
The germ-killing smell of the air was more intense than in the nurse’s station.
It must have been a real hospital.
My limbs were all in plaster cast.
Every bone hurt.
A man in white approached me. “I’m Dr. Birnbaum 1, St. Illness 2 hospital.”
Why was I treated here anyways?
Zoey stumbled in.
I smiled.
Zoey asked, “what sort of stupidities are you committing?”
I sighed deeply and started telling the long story.
Zoey explained, “the nurses in the school’s station have not yet received instructions in intravenous injections.”
“This had never bithered the old nurse,” I objected.
Zoey nodded. “Shannon needed to remind her of that. And that was after you’ve already been tortured to no end by the fury’s treatment. I saw that while visiting Dustin. Then I informed Dean Rivers. He has now fired the disgusting monster. We will soon get our own doc, my uncle Glazer 3. Until then, nearby hospitals such as this one will accept the sick high-school kids.”
I smiled. “Is that any good?”
Zoey shrugged. “He can be a bit weird.”
According to Dr. Birnbaum, I was going to leave hospital within the next week.
I desperately wanted to get rid of the scent filling the hospital’s air here.
But then again, Vince was probablyb still incredibly mad for the play getting Ashley sick.
Zoey shook her head. “Vince just insists in Ashley getting another play, as soon as possible, one praising her the cuteness of her face with all the chicken pox pimples.”
I sighed deeply. “So my whole efforts for the Kiss On A Spring Evening were for naught?”
Zoey replied, “I wouldn’t say that.”
I looked puzzled.
Zoey yelled, “Lola!”
I would have banged my head against the wall.
But this was impossible, down to all the casts and strings and so on.
Lola Martinez marched in. “Hi, Chase! I want to be the star of your play.”
Her sweet and bubbly smile made her like perfect for the rôle anyways.
The three of us hi-fived on site.
Alas, Lola could not start practising righ away.
Signs of chicken pox had just started adorning her brittle arms.
1 mentioned in Drake & Josh : Helen’s Surgery 2 mentioned in Drake & Josh : Treehouse 3 various cameos in Drake & Josh
Chapter 36 Wired For Battle
36.1 Dragons in your eyes
Not much later, upon our recovery from various diseases, we, viz. Lola, Zoey, Michael, and I, had came together in order to discuss a serious point.
The science club was participating in the battle robot league.
Girls like Quinn were not allowed in the club.
This was a rule established by gynephobe Wayne Gilbert aka Firewire.
Now Zoey had been incredibly daring and challenged arrogant Firewire. She swore to be able to find someone to build her a battle robot able to destroy Firewires.
Wayne Gilbert and his pals Neill and Andrew had cackled with excruciating glee.
Zoey was now asking us for our ideas for such a robot.
Lola grew a picture of it.
It should have been strong and agile, and breathe flames like an earth wyrm, and it should have had sensor-driven weapons.
Already looking at it should have been scary and intimidating.
Lola painted the robot with menacing eyes and dagger-sharp teeth like a dragon.
I shuddered upon looking at the tin dragon.
Of course none of the four of us was able to even think about building such a horrifying machine.
But Quinn was certainly able to do something. Unfortunately, she had got remorses. “I can’t build such aggressive stuff. It’d be really mean.”
“Excluding you from the science club is not mean?” wondered Zoey in turn.
Quinn was seized by fits of her own wrath. “Hell it is!” She promised to help her roomies.
Lola and Zoey smiled gleefully.
Quinn picked up her cellular phone and started entering some number. “Hi Cal! It’s Quinn Pensky.”
Cal grinned. “Aw Quinn, nice to hear you again. What do you need today?”
Quinn started with a long list of materials wanted by her robot project. She menrtioned especially Tantalium, some extremely rare and robust metal.
I didn’t know that.
But Cal’s answer didn’t sound wholly encouraging. “OK, I don’t have all of this here at our labs. I need to contact laboratories in Australia for the tantalium. Let’s say, 20,000 bucks might be in it.”
Zoey’s face went pale like a polar bear.
She could not afford anything like that.
I looked into my pockets. “Fifty bucks and a half-chewed bubble gum.”
Zoey glared at me. “Egad!”
I shrugged helplessly.
Michael and Lola were not uch better off.
Zoey asked, “Logan Reese could loan us the bucks.”
Quinn grunted, “he’s force us to call the robot something like Loganuctor or something equally stupid. Not without me!”
I shrugged. “Yeah, Logan has been really mean, as of recent.”
“As of recent?” wondered Lola.
I sighed deeply. “No, just as usual.”
Lola nodded.
I wondered, “who are the next regular adversaries of Fireweirdo’s team, anyways?”
Zoey looked at the schedule. “It’s james K. Polk’s in Santa Clarita.”
I gasped. “Hey! that’s hard. They have got a guy named Simon Nelson Cooke.”
Quinn chuckled. “Cookie? The runner up of last year’s regional science fear? Polk’s is certainly a tough opponent. I ‘pity’ Firewire. Cookie himself is rumoured to be half robot, half man.”
Zoey continued, “a thereafter, they are going to face Belleview from San Diego, the school of Drake Parker.”
This was going to be an explosive mixture ….
36.2 Broken weapon
We had tried hard to raise funds for our own war robot.
A name was easier to find than a sponsor.
We had decided fast on naming it Apocalyptor.
But no money meant no robot.
Kazu could not help us. He had hardly got the bucks to pay his fire insurance.
“Does it really have to be tanrum?” wondered Zoey.
“Tantalum,” thundered Quinn. She explained the advantages of this very robust metal.
And it was not the only rare and expensive prerequisite.
Suddenly, a truck halted at our parking lot.
I looked puzzled.
This was the vehicle of Joe the greasemonkey. It didn’t look in a much better state than the content of its cargo area.
Joe grinned, “fresh from my local junk yard.”
I wondered, what is it for?
Joe shrugged. “A certina Melinda Crenshaw has ordered it.”
I gasped.
What was Mindy going to do with all the trash?
I used my cellular phone in order to call the tricky geek girl.
Joe unloaded the junk.
I had to confirm the reception of the whole thing.
Joe disappeared again.
Unfortunately, Dean Rivers was not wholesale happy upon seeing the trash. “Matthews, I give you half an hour, or else …”
I didn’t want to hear about the else part.
It didn’t sound like much good.
But it wasn’t my fault.
Finally, Mindy arrived. She explained, “OK, this material will serve for building our battle robot.”
Quin gasped. “You want to beat Firewire with junk? He will laugh about it.”
Mindy cackled. “Correct!” She smirked.
We did not understand Mindy’s good mood.
Mindy explained, “he will laugh and neglect his control over his own robot. That’s when our robot will strike for good!”
Quinn scratched her chin.
Mindy explained, “that’s psychological warfare. Make your enemy laugh about your broken weapon, and you don’t need a shield. His careless arrogance is your best protection.”
Quinn sighed for relief. “That’s brilliant!”
Mindy nodded. “And as iour real weapon, I have thought about verious alternatives. First, a hyperbolic photon canon, 1, which we still have to fit into robot small enough to comply with the rules.”
Quinn shrugged. “Or the corrosive juice of my former version of banapples?”
Mindy nodded. “I also like this.”
They went through most of their previous inventions in order to look for the most suitable solution.
I didn’t understand any of their geek talk.
36.3 Ripped apart
Firewire and his gang had been beaten by Jams K. Polk.
The team of Simon Nelson Cooke and his henchmen Lance Widget and Albert Wormenheimer had built a robote named Worminator.
Firewire’s intimidating machine could not hold a flickering candle to Cookie’s robot.
Now they were in a miserable situation.
They needed to win the last matrch against the team of Belleview.
And that was a dern strong troop, consisting of Josh Nichols and his friends Craig Ramirez and Eric Blonowitz.
Firewire’s gang had to prepare well.
Defeating our Apocalyptor was going to instill them the necessary self-confidence and courage in order to make them refrain from giving up prematurely and let their heads hang in the wind.
Quinn and Mindy finally reveiled their machine.
It looked really miserable.
Rusty screws were protuding from everywhere.
Firewire cackled manically. “And thence girls should stay away from science.”
Quinn grunted like a fury.
Mindy just shook her head in a decently calm manner, grinning like a cunning creature.
Zoey was going to operate the Apocalyptor.
Dean Rivers started the mortal combat.
Firewire grabbed the remote control off Andrew. He didn’t want to leave him the pleasure of having humiliated the girls.
While the boys were still cackling and arguing over those details, oey pushed a red button.
A balloon containing hot banapple acid, tied to a rubberhead arrow, was released and fired at Firewire’s robbot.
Fire wire cackled even more. “I’ve never come across anything more ridiculous.”
His pals chimed in.
The balloon burst asunder, releasing the caustic liquid on the steel walls of the battle robot.
Finally, flabbergasted Firewire was in control of his machine. He tried to hunt down the apocalyptor.
Zoey just needed to make the Apocalyptor evade fro a few seconds.
Then the acid took its toll, having eaten its way to the guts of Firewire’s android.
The science freak boys gasped for dismay.
Their machine smoked and hissed like a wyrm, mocking its owners. Then it fell apart.
Dean Rivers had to declare us as the winners.
Firewire was still thunderstruck and unable to move after ten minutes.
Mind and Quinn walked away.
36.4 Enchanting surrender
The same evening, I was sitting in my dormitory room, looking through my next plays.
Michael was working out in the gym.
Mark was gone for supper with Quinn.
There were voices at the door.
I went in order to open. “Firewire?”
The freak cackled. “Hi Chase!”
I remarked, “I don’t really know the secret of our robot. Quinn and Mindy have built it all alone.”
Firewire sighed. “I’m giving up on the whole robot stuff. We couldn’t defeat the girls. Even less will we hold a candle to Belleview’s team.”
I shrugged helplessly. “There’s an easy way for your team to become stronger and possibly beat Josh, Craig, and Eric.”
Firewire looked dumbfounded. “What way? Nuclear blasters?”
I shook my head. “Allow girls to your science club.”
Firewire was consternated.
His jaw dropped to the floor like a block of concrete, causing an earthquake of no less than Richter 3.
I panted heavily. “Do you want our school’s science club tro become the laughingstock of the county?”
Firewire looked even more dumbfounded.
I continued. “Mindy Crenshaw will be particularly motivated against her former school.”
Firewire appeared to have been ignorant about this important fact. But now he appeared to regain ris speech slowly, stammering “she knows Josh, Craig, and Eric? She understands their ways of thinking?”
I nodded. “Aw, I’m sure Mindy may analyse Joshuah Nichols better than anyone else alive.”
Firewire grunted, “how so?”
I couldn’t help reveiling that sort of secret. “Mindy has had a silent crush on Josh, She would use the occasion to impress him and demonstrate her superiority.”
Firewire choked. “No!” He whimpered for dismay.
I wondered, “why does that bother you?”
Firewire stuttered, “Mindy cn’t do that … she can’t love that Josh dweeb.”
I reasoned quickly. “Jealous?”
Firewire blushed. “No way! Mindy can’t be a girl, she has to be a cyborg like Simon Nelson Cooke.”
His voice betrayed powerful traces of swooning.
I chuckled.
Firewired grunted, “chuckling is my job.”
I shrugged silently. “Hey, you do have feelings for Mindy.”
“She’s just fascinating,” admitted Firewire. “But I’m still afraid of girls.” He sighed for growing despair.
I shrugged. “Your problem! How will the school thank you losing the contest because of your insane fears and rprejudices?”
Firewire screamed for increasing agony. He decided to leave the choice to Neill and Andrew.
36.5 Gazing out a broken window
Time had come for the final showdown between the combat robot teams of Pacific Coast Academy and Belleview.
Neil and Andrew had decided for allowing Quinn and Neill to help them. They were totally freaked out by their fears of Josh, Ctaig, and Eric.
Firewire had been taking some time away from the club’s activities. But he did not refrain from watching the combat. He snuck into the open car of the team from Belleview’s team and aimed his telescope, a so-called ‘Waynocular’, at the battle suite.
The umpire was Mr. Sweeny from James K. Polk.
Firewire was still hesitating. “I haven’t got a good feeling with the girls in our club …”
His pals cackled.
Sweeny opened the fight to the death.
The combats started dancing around each others.
Josh exclaimed. “This time I won’t fall for your tricks with the miseravble looks of your loser machine, Miss Crenshaw! Heh! Drake has warned me about your knavish tricks.”
Mindy shrugged. “We will see. You still haven’t learned much. You keep on listening to your penetrantly stinking step-brother.”
The Joshinator fired a sensor-controlled rocket at our Apocalyptor.
Alas, Quinn had build in a distractor due to having been warned by Mindy.
The Joshinator and its weapons were confused.
The rocket took another turn and soared off to the parking lot.
A sound of shattering glass was hurt.
Firewire screamed like a fury.
The Apocalyptor started a counterstrike. What exactly was it doing?
Nobody heard or saw anthing.
But after a few seconds, The Joshinator started quivering uncontrollable.
Deadly vibrations seized the construct of steel and silicon.
The Joshinator decomposed into a heap of smithereens.
Josh squealed and twitched like an idiot.
Craig and Eric glared consternated at each other.
The battle was over.
Mindy nodded solemnly. “OK, Josh, I’ve always loved you. But you have never been unable to get rid of your abominably disgusting step-brother. Now I love someone else.”
Everyone gasped.
Mindy walked to the drop site and grabbed blushing Firewire from the demolished car. “Firewire is a dork like you. But he has got one distinguishing advantage: He hasn’t got a perverted step-brother!”
Firewire twitched and trembled.
Mindy pulled him closer. “Now kiss me, you dork!”
Firewire was feeling all sorts of hot and cold while obeying Mindy’s irresistable command.
Josh grunted, “what have they done to our car?”
Quinn grinned. “That was your own rocket!”
Josh, Craig, and Eric gaspe for despair.
Unfortunately, their car was not the only victim.
Dean Rivers looked at his demolished vehicle. “Who was that?”
Our sience geeks better took cover.
1 cf. Drake & Josh : Mindy Loves Josh