The Chase For Fame :: X
Contents
- Chapter 37 Little Womaniser
- Chapter 38 Spring Breakaway
- Chapter 39 Sushi Rocks Ablazing
- Chapter 40 Makes Me Happy
Chapter 37 Little Womaniser
37.1 Desire, ask, believe, receive
Dustin had been suffering a lot from his separation from Wendy Gellar. He had always feigned being cool with it.
I didn’t notice anything.
Zoey was just worried about Dustin’s good reputation and honour.
Trisha had been such a threat to those virtues.
Needless to say, Zoey had started being less worried after Trisha’s, or, as we should rather say, Samantha’s separation from Dustin.
Alas, Dustin could not simply resignate. He had most likely wondered about strategies for getting a girlfriend.
I was of course of very little help.
Zoey wouldn’t have liked me to give Dustin any hints, anyways. According to my impressions, she was trying hard to keep him single as long as only possible. She also told Michael and Lola to refuse helping him.
So, after all, Dustin had to find some other source of information. And whom better could he have chosen than the local expert and master of the ‘honoured’ art of womanising: The one and only Logan Reese aka ‘hotness incarnate’?
Zoey wasn’t happy about thissort of ‘tutor’ for Dustin.
But, taking everything hitherto said into account, there was little reason for refraining from saying:
It was all but completely Zoey’s comeuppance.
I didn’t want to see angelic Zoey as the source of Dustin’s downfall.
But this conclusion was hardly evitable.
Dustin was desiring to impress girls like many boys somewhere at his age. He was on the brink to middle school.
I remembered my own upper class time.
That had been the year before switching to Pacific Copast Academy.
I would have done a lot in order to learn the secrets of womanising from an ‘experienced’ teenager.
Dustin has probably simply chosen the best available tutor.
Playboy Logan was dating Dana, but he didn’t believe in monogamy.
Dana didn’t believe in it, either.
But that’s a different story.
In any case, he was one hell of an example to live up to for the upper class kids believing in the ability of moving onward to the next phase in their life and fighting for their wishes.
Now I’ve been talking a lot about that sort of tutoring.
Lola needed a tutor for biology.
It was about some very embarrassing stuff, such as the flowers and the bees.
Zoey refused to help Lola, but she sent her my way.
Inspite of Zoey’s praises, I had never been good in biology. Whatever, I seemed to be left without any other choice.
37.2 Beneath the shade of the Sycamore
I met Lola in our school’s aforementioned botanic garden.
The topic was the reproduction of wild plants.
For that avail, we took a walk past various plants growing in this garden.
Unfortunately, the area of Los Angeles was almost deprived of wild plants.
Civilisation had taken a harsh toll.
I wasn’t really at ease talking about the topic.
The reproduction of plants was basically the same as that of humans.
Thus talking about embarrassed me to no end.
Why did Lola have to be so incredibly hot?
We finally found a Californian plane tree, buttonwood or sycamore 1, whatever.
We decided to take a rest there.
Lola seemed to have no problems talking about the procreational stuff. But she could not remember her textbook’s words.
I was a playwright.
Lola was an actress.
Thus I presented Lola the text book like a script for a new play. “It is a play about Felicia, the brilliant student of biology, taking a cruise on the ocean of love, er, the Pacific ocean.” I sweated like a bunch of pigs.
All of a sudden, Lola had no longer got any problem remembering her text.
Hey!
Too bad it was not yet a real play.
But I had to write one.
It was going to be the perfect play for the perfect actress.
The shade of the plane tree grew longer and longer, following our talk about the procreation of sycamores.
That was so intimidating.
Granted, Lola was sort of into Drake Parker.
But rock idols of the day subscribed to a very loose interpretation of mutual commitment.
And Hollywood actresses appeared to do the same.
Ginger Fox 2 was a typical Hollywood actress and pop star of about 25 years, and she was the incarnation of being loose. In addition, she was Lola’s example to live up to.
So, what was Lola really up to?
And why was Zoey acting so cool? She appeared to have pushed Lola into my arms.
Lola asked, “too bad flowers and trees can’t kiss and stuff. Thus they have to rely on wind and rain, on birds and bees.”
My degree of nor being at ease increasy steadily.
Lola moved closer and closer. “What do you think? Does this plane tree wish to be able to kiss like human teenagers? Felicia is going to kiss the rice and nice guy at the end of the cruise, right?”
I choked and coughed.
Fortunately, the tutoring lesson was over.
But this just postponed the expected trouble.
37.3 The essence of life
Night had fallen.
Michael was still on the basketball field, practising free shots with Logan.
Mark and Quinn were at Sushi Rox.
Mark properly didn’t like exotic food. But he was not courageous enough to tell Quinn.
It was still too early for going to sleep for the night.
Thus I started thinking about the play to write.
The first lines were written fast.
There had to be a kiss at the end.
But how was Felicia supposed to get to kiss her dream boy at the end of the cruise?
There were so many possibilities.
After all, that wonderful song The birds and the trees 3 was sticking to my mind like industrial glue.
It fit perfectly to our lessons in biology.
And the concluding line tells us to learn about the base fact of life, from the beginning to the very end.
The more I had to think about it, the moreembarassing the whole thing became.
Why did Lola have to be in need of tutoring about the reproduction of plants just in this moment?
I was still slowly recovering from Zoey.
Worse than all, the reproduction of plants was stuff for elementary school kids and maybe middle school kids.
It sounded more and more like a plot.
There were voices at the door.
I opened. “Ashley?”
The little diva grinned.
It was past eight.
Ashley wasn’t supposed to be in the boys’ dorms. But the tweenie star just grinned. “I have lent my textbook for biology unto Lola. She told me to look for it here. Where is it?”
I gasped. “The one about the reproduction of plants? Lola needed tutoring …”
Ashley laughed hysterically. “Come on, she doesn’t need tutoring in fifth grade stuff.”
I looked puzzled.
Ashley continued, “are you so blind? She wants to trick you into kissing her.”
My jaw plummeted to the floor like a block of concrete, making the campus tremble like windward aspen leaves.
Ashley explained, “don’t worry. She is disgusted by your bushy hair. But she needs practice for kissing scenes, especially practice in kissing dweebs. Remember me and Dustin and the chicken pox?” She shuddered.
I fell onto my knees, squaling senselessly.
Ashley found the text book.
I needed it in order to prepare worksheets for Lola, using all colours.
Alas, the request for tutoring had now turned out as a fraud.
My ability to speak in words and sentences returned slowly.
I stammered, “that is so mean.”
Ashley shrugged. “It’s just acting. We are the actors, you are the viewers fooled into believing it real. That’s the essence of the life of actors.”
I was still abhorred.
Ashley continued, “I have to say … Dustin took it like a real man. You are whimpering like a baby. So … who is really the more mature of the two of you?”
I shrugged helplessly.
Ashley took her textbook. “OK, that’s it. Talking about Dustin, I wonder about his progresses in womanising. I guess he’s more successful than you, either. Oh, your next play for me is due in two months.” She walked away again.
I really needed that sort of tutoring about the facts of an actor’s life.
37.4 Dancing in the fountain
Dustin had made some progresses.
Alas, the thought of Dustin becoming more and more like Logan did not please me.
After the conversation with Ashley, I felt urged to watch the situation.
Was Dustin really so mature, compared to us high school boys?
Zoey should have worried infinitely more. But she had been staying fairly calm. She was probably up to something more tricky than just tellingDustin to refrain from immitating the jerk of jerks.
Logan had changed Dustin’s outdfit slightly. Then he had arranged a double date with Baldwin sisters.
This was strange.
Tracy Baldwin hated jerks. And she knew about Logan’s irresponsible demeanour towards girls. Why had she been volunteering for the double date? Likewise, she was as protective of her sister Sandy as Zoey was of Dustin.
Anyways, they were now double dating near the fountain in the centre of the campus. They discussed movies, probably due to being up to going to the campus cinema.
Logan wanted to watch his usual action thriller.
Tracy wanted to watch a love comedy, called ‘chick flick’ by Logan.
Dustin started talking appreciatively about Sandy’s outfit.
Alas, Logan had taught him to treat girls like one piece of dirt.
But, fortunately, Dustin wasn’t much convinced of that.
Finally, Tracy appeared to be fed up by Logan’s style. “I want to view Jerk In The Fountain.”
Logan did not know such a movie. He was the son of Hollywood csar Malcolm Reese. He would have known about such a movie long before anyone else, right?
Bear with it!
Logan did not smell the danger.
Suddenly, Tracy grabbed him and pushed him right into the spouting fountain.
It was a fairly flat well, though.
I sighed.
Logan still wondered about the existence of such a movie.
Tracy, Sandy, and Dustin were gone.
Dustin and Sandy seemed to have become sort of a couple.
Now Dana Cruz walked past the well. “Logan?” She chuckled.
Logan grunted, “Dana? Do you know the movie Jerk In The Fountain?”
Dana shrugged. “Let’s make one.” She jumped intpo the shallow waters, grabbed Logan, and twirled him around.
The two of them started to sing and to twist in the middle of the stream.
We’ll be dancing in the fountain when we dance
We’ll be dancing in the fountain when we dance
We’ll be dancing in the fountain
We’ll be dancing in the fountain
We’ll be dancing in the fountain when we dance
Students walking past them started jitterbugging around the well.
The contagious fever was about infecting all the campus.
37.5 Who named the stars?
Everything concerning Dustin and Sandy had started smoothly.
Given Zoey’s overprotective demeanour, I had to say, “it went way too fast.”
Now we were sitting ’neath the bright shining stars of Californian spring sky.
I used to play Would you rather with Zoey.
Sandy and Dustin had joined us.
I asked, “Zoey, would you rather lick peanut butter off the streets or run around bald-headed for ten years?”
Zoey gasped.
Dustin and Sandy stood up and waved. “we need to be in bed right at curfew.”
Sandy grinned. “Right. See us tomorrow for morning aerobics in the park!”
Zoey smiled. “Dustin has always begged me to be up for a bit longer. But now he’s totally different.”
Being with Sandy appeared to have turned Dustin into the little brother of her dreams.
But this was no longer the Dustin known to me for over three years.
Ashley’s words had made me think about it.
Zoey waved at her brother ad told me, “next quesrtion!” She expected a crazy alternative like the aforementioned one.
I gasped. “Erm … why do the stars have those names?” I really couldn’t concentrate on the game and stared nervously at the sky.
Zoey shook her head. “Chase! You are distracted!”
I sighed deeply. “Probably! I wonder about Dustin and Sandy. It looks like a deal between you and Tracy. You’ve got Dustin hitched to a girl of your choice, same goes for Tracy and Sandy.”
Zoey gasped. “What? How dare you …” She was somewhat upset.
My instincts, however, told me to be right on spot and to inform Dustin.
But is it always a good thing to obey to your gut instincts?
1
not exactly the same kind of tree
2
cf. iCarly : iFix A Popstar
3
song by Dean Martin which I don’t own
Chapter 38 Spring Breakaway
38.1 Broken promises and broken hearts
It was time for our spring break.
I was not interested in returning to the motheastern states for the break.
Alas, there were news from up there.
Addie and Jake Behari were still a couple. But they suffered from quite a few misunderstandings.
Addie had been sad because of not having been able to complete her list of things to do until turning fourteen.
This reminded me of my own list of things to do.
I was now fifteen years old. nd I had given up on my list over a year ago. I gasped for dismay. How could I have neglected such a thing? I hadbroken dozens of promises for no reason.
This was even worse than my recent break-up with Zoey.
And I was now completely listless. I could not plan for the vacations.
Zoey, Michael, Mark, and Quinn were all homeward bound.
Lola, Logan, Dana, Nicole, Nicholas Webber, Firewire, Mindy Crenshaw, and Vince Blake were going to the Reese’s summer estate in Santa Barbara county.
Malcom Reese had insisted in four boys and four girls exactly.
He was certainly up to something, like a new movie, as a surprise for the kids.
How good for them!
But with everyone breaking away from this campus, I felt once again trapped in nothingness. I remembered my empty Thanksgiving break, two years and a half earlier.
Janitor Herb and greasemonkey Joe had contacted me for work during the break.
The roof of Brenner Hall had to be cleaned and improved. 1
I accepted gladly in order to escape from boredom and nagging remorses due to having failed both with my childhood’s resolutions and my relationship with Zoey.
38.2 Entrapment
Being trapped on the campus during vacations was a feeling known so well to me.
Maintenance man Joe had sent me up the roof with a box of tools.
I couldn’t help but wonder about the exciting adventures of all my pals while left here with squirrel excrements and shifting shadows of trees n the campus.
One of them, even mightier than aforementioned sycamore, blocked out sunlight from Zoey’s roof.
Right on the Roof, I met Gordy.
The custodian of James K. Polk School in Santa Clarita greeted me. “Im well equipped for hunting squirrels. They are about as big and fast as weasels. And I’m an expert weasel hunter.” He boasted with his collection of weasel guns.
I grinned. “They also work against racoons, don’t they?” I was still panically afraid of them.
Gordy nodded. “Any time!”
I sighed. “You should take over as a custodian here. Banville 2 messes ewverything up.”
Gordy gasped. “What a custodian here at Pacific Coast Academy?” He sighed deeply. “True. At James K. Polk, I get fired for no reason each and every other week by vice principal Crubbs. Alas, I feel like something trapping me to stay there. But now my best friends among the pupils are about graduating from middle school. They will go to other high schools. James K. Polk’s high school had been discontinued since Vietnam and restarted a few years ago, but it’s too small for the vast mass of kids. Maybe I should find my courage and leave for good.”
I shrugged.
Joe joined us. “Hi! I’m gooing to take care of the roof. Gordy better assist Herb cutting down the tree.”
I pitied the old oak.
But there was no other way in order to make the girls’ roof sunny and clean.
Gordu nod and darted downstairs.
Joe started talking while preparing for cleaning the mess. “Next year, I’ll work in Seattle for Daka Shoes. 3.”
I looked aghast.
Now Gordy definitely needed to come to us.
I wondered, what are ypu doing for Daka?
Joe replied, “maintenence man in their headquarters.”
I knew their headquarters in Los Angeles.
They were definitely working on dangerous sorts of shoes.
Everything looked like one big mess.
They definitely needed a better maintenance man.
I started wondering about ways to talk Dean Rivers or Garth Burman into employing Robert Gordon as our new custodian.
And then poor old Gordy was freed from entrapment at James K. Polk’s.
Starting to make those plans I forgot even about still being entrapped on the campus for the dursation of these spring vacations.
38.3 Vacant arch
The day’s work was over.
Gordy had gone home.
I had thought about a few words to tell our headmaster. I wanted to be prepared better than during my first requests, back when trying to talk him into allowing girls to the Pacific Coast Academy.
A middle school guy named Matthew Palmer Noid 4 whistled merrily.
It was his first year at Pacific Coast Academy.
I asked, “so you live too far away to …”
Mathew shook his head. “I’m from Santa Clarita. But I like hanging out on the campus.” He must have liked this school so much. He preferred spending the vacations here on the campus inspite of living just a few miles away. “I should have gone to James K. Polk’s. But some student named Crony told me some cool joke about a bush-headed guy here. My hair is unusually curly for a boy. So I deemed this a better place for me and my hair.”
Dean Rivers crossed the campus afoot.
I even saw him across th glass doors of the foyer of my hall.
But something was strange.
Upon closer inspection, I noticed him lacking pants.
But he continued his way in a totally usual manner.
Matthew was gone - all of a sudden - without warning.
We were still on vacations.
But did Dean Rivers’s pants have to go on vacation as well?
The boss of our fantabulous school was approaching.
Even now I saw him open the door to my hall.
This was the perfect occasion for talking to him about a new custodian.
Well, it would have been under usual circumstances.
But a boss in boxers was still a boss, wasn’t he?
I still had to show him the usual respect, pantless or not! Should I have told him about his outfit?
This was a very delicate situation.
No boss liked it appearing pantless to his devout underlings.
But telling him was going to be tedious.
Noticing it later in a an even more embarrassing situation would have made our ‘leasurely-disposed’ headmaster evern more upset, making it impossible to hire Gordy as a new custodian.
I had to try, anyways. “Sir, are’n’t you missing something?”
Dean Rivers looked aghast. “I’m not wasting my time on stupid remarkkes!”
I shuddered, stammering wildly, “I mean, … authority should be recognisable by from the outfit, shouldn’t it?”
Dean Riveres thundered, “definitely! That’s why I don’t run around like you kids. Especiall I refrain from letting my hair grow into a diffuse shrubbery like certain boys at Pacific Coast Academy.”
I kept on struggling in an attempt to make it straight to the point.
But it was hopeless.
I was a born dork.
Certain pupils walked past us.
Of course the campus and the foyers were still mostly empty.
But those who stayed here were more excited than usual.
Dean Rivers grunted, “this is not a comedy show! You may giggle when you are among your ilk, but not in the presence of a person worth of quite some respect!”
Suddenly, Matthew Palmer Noid showed up again. “Your worship, do you miss out on these?” He held a pair of classic English trousers in his hands. “They fit so nicely to your coat.”
Dean Rivers smiled. “They do, indeed. But I’m already decked out. My wife always insists in the best classis wear, suited perfectly for my job. Those trousers almost look like my own. Where did you get them from?”
Mathew shrugged. “I found them by accident.” Then he had to rush to the loos.
Dean Rivers shrugged. “Really, they look so much like my own, including the pockets filled with …”
I read a slip of paper protuding from the pockets. “A bill for video games, worth more than 500 bucks?”
Dean Rivers went pale. He fumbled at his hips and went pale. Then he darted away to the toilets.
I looked aghast.
Which man of fifty years wasted so many bucks on video games? 5
38.4 Parting regrets
The next day, Matthew Palmer Noid showed up again.
I was still wondering.
Had he really been able to sneak the headmaster’s pants off his legs without letting him notice? Matthew whistled innocently.
I wanted to know it.
Finally, Matthew let me know. “I’m very tricky, ain’t I?”
I shrugged.
He was indeed. And he was probably steering into some trouble for that. Matthew had already stripped aforementioned Mr. Sweeny of his pants.
This happened during his upperclass men’s visit to James K. Polk Middle school.
He admitted to being telekinetically gifted. “But don’t tell everyone.”
Would anyone believe him?
Madame Kreuftlva, aforementioned soothsayer from New York City, probably would.
I was instantaneously reminded of her predictions.
So, Zoey was a detour.
But maybe detours were necessary?
I wanted to become a great playrwright. For that avail I needed to make more experiences than other people.
Experiences were able to inspire me more and more.
There was thus no need to regret having gone many an extra mile.
Likewise, Matthew Palmer Noid had not yet rued his decision to switch to the Pacific Coast Academy instead of James K.Polk’s. Here, he was safe from Sweeny’s wrath. Als, he was able to keep his magic abilities a secret. No, he had been so until now. Fortunately, he had stripped the dean during spring break, and not in the middle of a running term.
After all, having been forced to stay at the campus over spring break had not been that bad.
I didn’t have to regret any deed that had probably excludded me from the trip to Reese estate.
There are probably other producers able to help me become famous, anyways!
Talking about Logan and the bunch …
Their limousine was just sneaking aroud the corner. It wasn’t exactly small, Kogan’s incessant claims to the contrary notwithstanding.
And Lola didn’t hesitate telling me and a few other onlookers about the proper reason for the trip to Santa barbara county: “Malcolm was making a new game show, Gender Defenders. It’s four girls against four girls. You should have been with us. It was so cool. ”
I shrugged. “Who won?”
Lola grinned. “We girls, of course. You boys suck. And you know it!”
I gasped.
Lola continued, “but we will all be seen in a few days in the première broadcast.”
I shrugged.
38.5 Lightning fast refusal
We were now gathered in the foyer of our lounge in order to watch the first episode of Gender Defenders.
Zoey, Quinn, and Michael were back from their vacations as well.
Zoey was watching with me.
There contest was mad up of three parts: A hunt-for-hints gauntlet, a creativity test involving making a nerd look cool, and a face-to-face combate between Logan and Dana, each standing on an island in the middle of a pool.
The girls won all three of them.
That was really putting us boys to shame.
Michael claimed, “with us, the boys’ team would have won.”
But I was not that sure about it.
Lola showed me her new tek-mates.
Those were cellular phones with many built-in extras.
They had used them during the showdown in order to communicate with there team mates.
Suddenly, Lola’s cellular phone rang.
Lola wanted to pick it up, but she couldn’t find it.
Where was it?
Finally, Michael found it floating above Lola. He shrieked upon noticing this.
I grunted.
Of course, Matthew Palmer Noid must have been responsible for that.
But Lola didn’t care. She started answering the call. “Lola Martinez … oh, Malcolm!”
Malcolm Reese had been very keen on Lola’s performance. “I already know it from your performance in that dilettantic web show by your friends Chase Matthews and Michael barret. But your deeds in the pilot of gender defender even topped that. I may offer you a skit show on your own, named Randomly Like That 6”
I was glad for Lola, and so were Michael and Zoey.
Lola beamed. “Sure! With skits written by Chase Matthews as my playwright, I will overwhelm the masses!”
Zoey and Michael nodded.
I bluhed.
Malcolm coughed. “No, the skits will of course be written by a reliable professional, not some third-class wannabe.”
Lola gasped. “The answer is … no!”
Malcolm Reese grunted, “you see, you are so going to regret your decision!”
Now I felt guilty for being a stumbling block in Lola’s career.
That was no good.
1
suggested by Zoey 101 : Girls Will Be Boys
2
various cameos in season 2 and 3 Zoey 101
3
identifies Joe the Mechanic with same actor’s cameo named Braxley in iCarly : iPromote Techfoots
4
cf. Ned’s Declassified SSG : Upperclassmen
5
cf. Zoey 101 :Quinn’s Alpaca
6
alludes to So Random, a show within Sonnt With A Chance which I don’t own either.
Chapter 39 Sushi Rocks Ablazing
39.1 Firestarter
A few days later, we were sitting in Kazu’s bar on the campus.
It had become more and more popular.
We could not imagine a life without sushi.
Zoey’s favourite Kapanese food were tempura rolls, i.e. deep-fried battered seafood and vegetables.
These rquired a hot stove.
I was still working for Kazu and had to serve Zoey.
It was close to curfew.
But Zoey insisted in ordering tempura rolls.
Also, I had to deliver several sushi meals across the campus.
Being already late, I felt urged to hurry up and do the whole delivery in one bout.
Yet this was apparently a bit much.
I stepped down the staircase, carrying a dozen of deliveries. I still had to think about Lola’s refusal to make that show with another playwright.
It made me feel so downright miserable.
All of a sudden, I stumbled and fell down the steps, losing my parcels.
Everyone came in order to look after me, including Kazu.
The latter had to neglect his stove.
A few seconds later, the kitchen was set ablaze.
Coach Keller complained about his sushi,, and he accused me and my friends of having started the fire. “My revenge will seize you!” The idiot tried to fight the fire, but he used the fire extinguisher in a stupid manner, making things even worse and wasting the foam for naught.
Zoey, Lola, Nicole, and Michael accused each other.
But it was for no avail.
We kids were sent back to our dorms.
Dean Rivers was dealing with the arrival of the fire brigades, commanded by chief Becker 1.
39.2 Night of fire
I was too tired to watch the efforts of the fire brigades.
The dorms were declared to be safe.
Zoey had been hurrying towards Dustin’s dorm in order to convince herself of that before going to sleep.
I was really upset.
Who had to order a delivery of a dozen packages of sushi less than half an hour before curfew?
But worse than the fire threatening to devour Sushi Rox were the adruous flames of my conscios.
The stench of their smoke drove me from one nightmare to another.
Everyone hated me for having started the fire, right?
All sushi lovers were going to hunt me down for the rest of my life at Pacific Coast Academy.
Lola was most likely going to hate me twice that much, first for destroying her favourite pub, and then for having ruined her career by inciting her to turn down Malcolm’s offer for mere loyalty..
And I hated those ordering sushi that late.
The heat of hatred devoured us faster than the burning oil in Kazu’s stove.
What was the fire insurance going to say?
Kazu had got a good fire insurance, didn’t he? He better did.
Otherwise I may have been forced to work for him for naught for the next twenty years in order to come up for the possible damage.
But maybe the fire was not even going to stop there and start infecting more building, burning us all to death over night?
All my friends and relatives in the northeastern states admired me for Sushi Rox.
Addie and Rusty loved Asiatic specialities.
Finally, the night was coming to an end.
39.3 Flame in the twilight
I woke up, smelling smouldering ashes everywhere.
Mark had been totally calm all night through.
Michael had been hardly able to sleep, either. Like me, he feard particularly the wrath of coach Keller.
Anyways, our first way of the morning was leaving us straight to Sushi Rox. No, it didn’t.
There was no such thing as Sushi Rox - no more!
A few empty and wasted ruins were adorning sadly the place of our former favourite bar.
The walls were still standing.
But the kitchen equipment and the furniture were dead.
Even worse, Kazu had not been able to pay his fire insurance for the last six months.
Instead of legendary Phoenix, a vulture fund rose from the smoke and embers, ready to pick apart and devour the intestines of Sushi Rox.
Needless to say, Kazu was no longer able to stay here and run his bar.
I already felt the burning steam of Coach Keller in my neck.
Zoey shook her head. “Come on, we just need to raise funds for Sushi Rocks before the bad banks strike.”
I shook my head. “We haven’t even been able to raise funds for spring flings.”
Nicole squealed, “Malcolm Reese would sure have donated a few bucks. But Lola had to upset him and spoil everything.”
The wannabe Hollywood star gasped. “I would be nothing without Chase and Michael. I won’t go anywhere without them!”
Nicole looked dumbfounded.
Michael sighed. “Fortunately, we had been able to get Drake Parker for a lot less, due to certain connections.”
I gasped. “Maybe Drake can help us raining funds?” I thought about a beneficial concert.
Lola beamed. “Yeah! Drake Parker is the solution!”
Zoey wondered, “how so?”
Lola explained, “he’s hotter than the flames destroying Sushi Rox. A kissing booth with him …”
Quinn picked her pocket calculator. “If we request one buck of a kiss of three seconds, it will take us …”
Lola swooned.
Quinn was done calculating the outcome.
Zoey was finally impressed by the numbers. “So, a few days would be enough. Better than car wash.”
Coach Keller’s grimaces told us to hurry up rebuilding Sushi Rocks.
Lola asked Zoey, “may you lend me 2000 bucks, please?”
Zoey looked flabbergasted.
Lola explained, “I want to kiss Drake for two hours straight.”
Zoey shook her head. “Are you insane?”
Lola begged. “Please! he’s so hot!”
Zoey grabbed Lola. “If I had that much, I’d put it straighht into the rebuilding of Sushi Rox.”
Lola gasped. Now she wasn’t any longer keen on her own suggestion.
Quinn and Mindy had got a ‘better’ idea. Both of them had been doing a lot of research in the area of cloning life forms. “We could clone babies, or strange pets, and sell them for a lot of bucks.”
Michael and Zoey shook their heads unison.
That wasn’t going to get anywhere.
Wendy Gellar was walking past us. She looked at me. “Nice mess!”
Zoey grinned. “We need rto do something about that. We thought about hiring Drake for a kissing booth, sharing fifty-fifty.”
Wendy coughed. She was basically over Drake, thus not likely getting hurt by him kissing gazillions of other girls. But she deemed it strange. She nodded, anyways. “I’m going to ask his sister.”
I banged my head against the next tree trunk, hollowed by the recent flames.
Megan was a great fund raiser, anyways. She would have found a way to save Sushi Rox, in the case of the exiestenceof any such thing.
Wendy’s finger tips danced across the keys of her cellular phone.
Megan picked up on site. “Wendy! It’s horribly early. The boobs areen’t even awake yet.” She yawned heartily.
Wendy explained the situation. “And now we could need your help for raising funds, We thought especially about a kissing booth with Drake.”
Megan gasped. “Wow! You’re really OK with that? Well, I’m sure: Drake will love to do that. But it costs you ten per cent …”
Zoey sighed.
But Megan could have been a lot more greedy.
39.4 Through the fire
The next days were one gauntlet across smouldering brimstone and charcoal ember.
Most pupils were looking oddly at me and at Michael, calling me ‘sushi murderers’ or even worse.
Coach Keller’s wrath was worse than everything else together. And that dumb jock wasn’t even able to pronounce sushi.
This was horrible.
He made us run twice as much during gym classes, and he forced us to wipe the gym floor after the lessons.
Michael moaned, “isn’t that the custodian’s job?”
Coach Keller denied this rigorously. “Custodian Banville is in hospital for smoke poisoning.”
Dean Rivers should up in the gym. Was he going to train for something?
This was not the case.
Coach Keller suggested, “you should fire those freaks and send them into the desert mines in order to make up for the damage!”
Michael gasped and squealed, “I don’t want to work in the mines! It’s so dark there.”
I nodded and shivered. “And there are moles. They are worse than racoons.”
Dean Rivers shrugged. “Mr. Bradford will think about that later on. But until then, there are some other questions to answer.”
I looked at Michael, and vice versa.
Dean Rivers explained, “according to witnesses, the fire alert system has not been checked for over a year. That is, it has never been checked since the begin of the responsibility of Ethan Banville.”
Michael suggested, “hey, you should fire him and send him to …”
Dean Rivers sighed. “Good custodians are incredibly rare. And things get harder due to impending departure of greasemonkey Joe Braxley.”
I gasped. “I know someone!”
Dean Rivers looked aghast.
I explained, “Robert Gordan, the custodian of James K. Polk, …”
Dean Rivers coufhed all over. “The one who helped rebuilding the campus for the arrival of the girls? Isn’t he working for Polk’s”
I nodded solemnly. “He has also prepared the girls’ roof during the vacations.”
Dean Rivers scratched his head. “OK, let me see … if he’s able to organise security training o the campus …”
I wondered about that security training.
The boss explained, “well, let’s say, it’s a new rule introduced by the county’s department for prevention and treatment of catastrophes. We will have three security practice days per year.”
I sighed.
Michael and Coach Keller were even less keen on the training measures.
But we had to jump through those burning hoops.
Oops!
39.5 Flames of disaster
Drake Parker had actually agreed on the whole thing.
Now we were sitting in the campus yard and started the kissing booth.
Megan was also here, eager on counting the cash. She was assisted by Wendy.
As expected, Lola was the first in the queue. She begged Zoey one last time to lend her some thousand bucks for the booth.
But it was all in vain.
Lola sighed deeply. She fland a dollar pieve over to Wendy and Megan.
Drake was sitting behind some table.
The girls were supposed to kiss Drake over the table.
But Lola didn’ care. Like a gazella, she jumped swiftly onto the table and beyond in order to land gracefully on Drake’s lap, maling him smile.
Drake grabbed her and pulled her into a passionate kiss.
Megan had a chronometer in her hands.
It was an invention by Quinn.
The watch caused a terrifying sound after three seconds, supposed to interruopt the nervous systen of human lips and thus breaking the kiss.
Many onlookers started swooning upon watching Lola and Drake make out like nobody’s business.
Alas, in the case of Drake and Lola, this signal was just much too weak.
Wendy protested.
Megan was also absolutely horrified.
Of course, was unable to pay for all of that. Otherwise she wouldn’t have tried hard to boerrow money from Zoey.
Alas, Megan reacted fast. “All onlookers have to pay twenty bucks!”
The masses gasped. But they did not mind paying a few bucks for watching Drake and Lola.
Megan charged furthermore 5000 bucks from Jeremiah Trottman for a permission to broadcast the pictures.
Within a few hours, we had gathered the sum required for restoring Sushi Rox.
Suddenly, the fire alert bells rang out.
The onlookers shrieked.
Middle school kids foormed a long queue. They passed buckets of water from one pupil to the other.
Finally, Lola and Drake were hit by torrents of cool water. They looked consternated.
Gordy appeared to be supervising the action.
Mindy and Quinn went pale.
Finally, Quinn fessed up. “The potentially devastating heat and the brain-melting flames of untamable passion developping between Lola and Drake wer detected by my more delicate fire alerting system. I’ve worked a whole week on it.”
Gordy had been guiding a security training for middle school kids, as requested by Dean Rivers as a test.
Our headmaster was totally convinced by this sort of security training. He didn’t hesitate employing Gordy.
Suddenly, Coach Keller crossed the campus in undergarments only.
I guessed Matthew Palmer Noid behind that.
Megan also charged people for looking at the semu-nude coach, increasing thusly our revenue.
Likewise, Kazu felt a lot safer by now. He decided to rebuild Sushi Rox from the collected money.
1
from Zoey 101 : Drippin’
Chapter 40 Makes Me Happy
40.1 A human voice
A few mornings later, I was awakened by Quinn’s voice.
The geek girl needed to test another invention, a strange apparatus.
The machine looked like a mix of many things.
Quinn needed to wire and power the whole thing.
I wondered, what is this going to be?
Mark shrugged. He sensed being the victim of another quinnvention. But he didn’t dare to cotradict his excessively nerdy girlfriend.
Quinn explained, “many people working in an office, such as Dean Rivers, are too lazy to perform casual tasks, such as opening doors and so on. But these days are now all but gone.”
I gasped. “What are you going to do?”
Quinn grunted, “this machine is able to accomplish your commands. You just jave to say them.”
I shrugged. “OK, do my homework for me!” I looked at the machine. “Come on, I can’t wait forever!” I was close to kicking the blinking and humming device.
Quinn grabbed me. “You don’t dare to damage my invention, do you?”
I whistled hypocritically. “Why would I?”
Quinn sighed. “The machine only understands a few selected commands. I will add others, from time to time. In addition, itis adjusted to mark’s voice. After working with the sweetest of all possible voices, I will be able to adapt it to just ay voice.”
Mark wondered, “what commands?”
Quinn started, “OK, it’s breakfast time. You sure want some coffee, don’t you?”
Mark nodded. “Yeah!”
Quinn replied, “you have to say so.”
Mark squealed, “coffee!”
The machine started emitting a clanking sound.
A torrent of warm, brown water poured forth from an opening in the cover of the machine, straight into Mark’s face.
Mark remarked calmly, “it’s hot! May I wash my face?”
Quinn shook her head. “Not before testing the other commands.”
Michael had just awoken from the metallic noise. He started wiping Michael’s face clean with some napkin.
Quinn admitted to having made some mistake. “The machine was supposed to fill the coffee into a cup, not straight into Mark’s face.”
I scratched my bushy hair. “I hope so. Dean Rivers would not be pleased otherwise.”
Quinn nodded solemnly.
Michael was dismayed. “You want to sell such a thing to Dean Rivers?”
Quinn beamed brightly. “Maybe some nearby headmasters want one, too, such as those from James K. Polk’s, Silver Spring 1, Mark, try the next command, it is window!”
Mark moaned, “Window.”
The dorm’s window shattered and burst into smithereens.
That was definitely not Quinn’s intention.
She had to work harder on it.
40.2 Nostalgic numbness
The following evening, we were gathered in the foyer.
Quinn took over the laptop and contacted her parents. “Oh no, Otis is sad!”
I wondered, “who or what is an otis?”
Quinn grunted, “my pet alpaca. Unlike my smaller pets, I can’t hide it in my dorm. So I had to leave it behind in Seattle. Now it is sad due to missing me. And that makes me sad, too.”
The pet looked pretty much like a llama.
I could not tell them apart. Thus I was no good at biology.
This still made me wonder about Zoey’s command to tutor Lola in biology.
At least, Quinn’s mother was a lot worse. The dumb wench could not tell an alpaca from an ostrich.
Or was it a lapsus linguæ?
Maybe Quinn also had an ostrich, somewhere in here or out there.
Alas, depression of the alpaca was incredible.
Quinn had already agreed on an appoiuntment with Dean Rivers for a demonstration of her machine. And it still needed some fixes.
But with her nostalgic melancholia triggered by her separation from her llama, oops, alpaca, there was not a snowflake’s chance in a volcano left to complete the task.
And I knew already some others interested.
Addie’s headmaster, Mrs. Brandywine, was even more lazy than Dean Rivers.
Or so told me Eli Pataki. He had already arranged a visit of the lady.
Quinn should not have missed out on that chance. But now she sulked sadly in a corner.
I wondered, “we need to take Quinn to Otis, or Otis to Quinn.”
Zoey objectedm “Quinn can’t leave the campus during the term without prior written permission and without risking suspension and expulsion. You should know that. Likewise, alpacas and llamas are not allowed on the campus.”
I gasped. “I’m not that dumb!”
Zoey cackled and pulled at some strands of my bushy hair.
40.3 Tears of desire
A few months ago, Quinn Pensky had started practising with her trombone.
Now she used to play it whenever sad.
And the depression of her favourite pet was one real reason for being incredibly sad.
And this time, her performance was downright horrible.
Mark told me to stuff his ears with cotton fluff, preventing him from having to listen to the abominable noise.
Michael understood it somehow. “sometimes, I play the transversal flute when sad.”
I nodded. “But you don’t make such a hell of a noise, as totally opposed to Quinn and her trombone.”
Michael nodded solemnly. “I see!”
Wendy Gellar trotted in. “Hi, Michael, I have just tried to writew a tune for a jazz rock song. What do you think aboutit?” She valued Michael’s opinion a lot due to his great experiance.
Michael agreed. “I’m going to listen afterwards. Now we need to find a way to help Quinn.” He explained the situation unto WEndy.
The tweenie girl beamed. “Aw, I could tell you stories …”
I wondered, “stories?”
Wendy explained, “Megan has once bought a sheep from the interweb. 2”
Michael and Mark did not want to believe that.
Wendy contunued, “OK, she told Drake and Josh to hide the beast in their room, telling them to refrain from further pranks for some time. Later, Drake and Josh were caught and punished. Nothing happened to Megan. Then she bought a zebra, and the same thing started right from afresh.”
I gasped, squealing, “aw Megan!” I felt the little angel and the little devil settling down on my shoulders once more.
The devil told me to use Megan’s smart tricks.
But I was probably going to flunk it badly.
And Mark and Michael were not much better.
Whom should we have mad hide it, anyways?
This was not hard to decide on.
“Logan,” we squealed unison.
At the same time, Wendy had started calling Megan with her cellular phone. Wendy chuckled noisily. “Hi Megs, do you remember your sheep?”
Megan grunted, “oh, Bawwwwwwb!”
Wendy explained the situation.
Megan was ready to intervene.
The little devil had won for this time.
40.4 When words fail
It was the great day of the presentation of the office machine.
We were able to watch the demonstration from the foyer.
Due to her sadness, Quinn had not been able to work a lot on her mqachine.
Mindy and Wayne had tried to jump in for her. They had also established a hidden cam and micro in the headmaster’s office.
But this was not an easy enterprise.
Besides Dean Rivers, the headmasters of Silver Spring 3, Palmwood’s, and Hollywood Arts had made a trip over here as potential buyers.
And, to my surprise, there was also a delegation from Rocky Road.
Mrs. Brandywine was dragged around in a sort of riksha, drawn by her ‘slaves’ Addie Singer, Geena Fabiano, and Zachariah Carter-Schwartz.
Wendy chuckled. “I knew it. You’d be happy about the visit ofd Addie, Geena, and Zach. Thus I arranged it as a secret.”
I gasped.
Wendy Gellar was totally deep and surprising.
Megan showed up, followed by Ashley Blake. She whistled innocently.
The girls had just visited Logan and Vince in their dorm.
I wondered, “did you get them to take care of the alpaca?”
Megan nodded solemnly. “Alpaca wool is very high on demand. Or so I told them. Likewise, I have made Drake and Josh to believe in raising zebra stripes, you knowm those adorning pedestrians; crossings …”
Michael gasped. “Thoase zebra stripes are taken from real zebras? I haven’t known that?”
Megan shook her head. “They ain’t. But Drake and Josh have actaully believed it. And then they tried to sell the zebra’s stripes to San Diego’s deprtment for traffic control and street maintenance.”
Wendy cackled for excessive glee.
Ashley and Megan high-fived noisily.
Alas, the demonstration appeared to be not so pleasant.
Dean Rivers commanded the machine using the code door. He wnted to close the door of his office.
But instead of taking care of the afiorementioned door, the machine opened his zipped pants.
Everyone laughed like crazy.
The commands uttered by the other headmasters were treated in a similarly deviant manner.
This did not look very good for us!
Principal Wright from Santa Clarita, successor of aforementioned principal Pal, was really upset.
Brandywine announced, “one last chance for this hell’s machine …”
Her colleagues nodded solemnly. They consulted silently.
Suddenly, the windows all opened.
Brandywine was flabbergasted. “I have just thought about it!”
The principals all agreed, “The machine is clairvoyant!”
Everuone ordered an example of the monstrous apparatus.
Alas, the machine had not read Brandywine’s thoughts.
Matthew Palmer Noid chuckled in a corner, not far from myself.
Finally, Mrs. Brandywine was hungry.
Too bad the machine was not yet able to cook.
Brandywine clalled Addie, Zach, and Geena via her walk-and-talk radio. “Bring us some corn dogs!”
Suddenly, the machine started to bark like nothing.
That was the last hitherto built-in command.
It was made in order to scare away unwanted intruders.
But now thhe headmasters all cowered under the desk.
40.5 Ring of sunlight
Sunday morning had broken.
The sun spread its rays all over the campus.
The principals had not withdrawn their request.
Quinn was now looking forward to even more orders, especially upon getting more modules added.
I was still hanging out in the foyer of 148 Maxwell Hall.
Logan came along, complaining, “that wooly lamer has shitted all over my bed!” He wrinkled with his nose.
I cackled with glee.
Logan continued triumphantly, “but I will make gazillions by selling alpaca wool, and you won’t! Yay!” He walked away.
Addie, Zach, and Geena were still hjere, waiting for their machine to take them to new York.
Wendy giggled. “Have you told him already?”
Addie shook her head, a bit timidly.
Wendy urged her to do so.
What did Addie have to tell me? She finally stammered, “My mom allows me to go to the ’buildingPacific Coast Academy, starting with next year!”
I smiled. “That sounds cool.”
Wendy and Megan nodded rigorously.
Megan complained, “Drake should have taken me home last night. But I’m still standing here.”
Wendy sighed deeply. “It must have to do with Lola.”
I nodded for understanding.
Megan moaned, “aw, I don’t mind Drake having a fixed girlfriend for more than just a few weeks.” She whistled merrily. “By the way, after the boobs had failed hiding the sheep and the zebra, I sent my pets to Faye Dunnaway 4, owner of a big ranch just a few miles from here. So, should Vince and Logan ever get tired … here’s her business card.” She dropped something into my hands.
We gasped.
That would have been the solution for Quinn’s alpaca in the first place!
A big ranch hosting many hooved mammals was probably the best place for Otis to live.
Quinn was certainly going to be able to take just a few hours off every off in order to play with her wooly friend in the plain sunlight.
At the same time, the sound of Drake’s guitar went trembling through the campus.
Lola and Drake were standing in the middle of the campus, surrounded by a corona of pure white sunlight.
Drake sang his new song, Makes Me Happy. He had written it a few weeks ao, but now he dedicated it wholeheartedly to his Lola, the sunshine of his life, making him happy and want to sing.
They got up and started fooling around the campus.
I grinned, looking forward to my sophomore year.
1
from Just Jordan
2
cf. Drake & Josh : Sheep Thrills
3
from Just Jordan
4
from Zoey 101 : Quinn Misses The Mark