...that's it. just suicide.
My house is as energy efficient as a straw hut. Right now the bathroom tub's faucet is leaking. Badly. It isn't drip, drip, drip. It is flowing water. i don't know what possesses a tub to randomly start doing this. i am scared to look at the electric bill this month. Between having a roommate who never turns off lights and always has the AC running and my house being so crummy and falling apart, the electric bill has been like 300 dollars! i am jobless and can't afford that.
i still have not heard back from Rocklin Ranch. i would call them but i know i won't get anywhere. Tammy won't be available to talk and so i will leave a message with her. i really thought i would get the job. i wish they would get back to me already.
i daydreamed a lot about my soul mate again today. We met on OKCupid this time but her profile didn't have a picture. i didn't find out what she looked like until we met in person. She turned out to be hot. The first night i sleep over her apartment (which is still around the corner from me) is the first time we have sex. i wake up to her giving me a blowjob and breakfast that she has made. She still keeps it hidden that she does porn though. She tells me later when the relationship starts getting serious. She still offers to quit for me though and i still tell her not to and that i am fine with it. She makes so much money modeling and doing porn. She frequently travels to Los Angeles to do movies. She gets a gig with Burning Angel that we are both excited about. She has a straight edge tattoo and a Taking Back Sunday tattoo like me. Her birthday is also still the same as my birthday. Her bed sheets are leopard print. She has a PS3 that she uses to watch Netflix and play video games. She watches cartoon network constantly. i want my daydreams of her to become night time dreams. i wonder if i will remember it after i wake up. For all i know i have dreamed of her. i never remember my dreams and it is depressing. Are my expectations too high? Am i being picky and shallow? It is very important for me to be very attracted to whomever i settle with and i think i am good looking enough to land an attractive female. i doubt i will ever meet a porn actress of course. In fact, i doubt i will ever meet my soul mate if she even exists. I'll probably just go through life from one fuck buddy to the next just like my life on the east coast. Only exceptions being Adri and Shannon. It is probably how i will spend the rest of my life until i die of suicide.
i still have not heard back from Rocklin Ranch. i would call them but i know i won't get anywhere. Tammy won't be available to talk and so i will leave a message with her. i really thought i would get the job. i wish they would get back to me already.
i daydreamed a lot about my soul mate again today. We met on OKCupid this time but her profile didn't have a picture. i didn't find out what she looked like until we met in person. She turned out to be hot. The first night i sleep over her apartment (which is still around the corner from me) is the first time we have sex. i wake up to her giving me a blowjob and breakfast that she has made. She still keeps it hidden that she does porn though. She tells me later when the relationship starts getting serious. She still offers to quit for me though and i still tell her not to and that i am fine with it. She makes so much money modeling and doing porn. She frequently travels to Los Angeles to do movies. She gets a gig with Burning Angel that we are both excited about. She has a straight edge tattoo and a Taking Back Sunday tattoo like me. Her birthday is also still the same as my birthday. Her bed sheets are leopard print. She has a PS3 that she uses to watch Netflix and play video games. She watches cartoon network constantly. i want my daydreams of her to become night time dreams. i wonder if i will remember it after i wake up. For all i know i have dreamed of her. i never remember my dreams and it is depressing. Are my expectations too high? Am i being picky and shallow? It is very important for me to be very attracted to whomever i settle with and i think i am good looking enough to land an attractive female. i doubt i will ever meet a porn actress of course. In fact, i doubt i will ever meet my soul mate if she even exists. I'll probably just go through life from one fuck buddy to the next just like my life on the east coast. Only exceptions being Adri and Shannon. It is probably how i will spend the rest of my life until i die of suicide.