Love is a wasting disease.

[rithrin]

I haven't been this exhausted for a long time. I went to Turku for three days. My anxious brain can't process all the data concerning loneliness, company, forcing myself, the furtive idiot, into the company of others, I was so tired and I couldn't handle where I would be at what point in time, what things can be considered for granted (am I for granted, is my availability for granted, whereas my feelings, or what I want, is not?), I wanted to get away but I had nowhere to go. I wanted to be quiet but I couldn't shut up, I hate every word that comes out of my mouth. This are we -aren't we -disparity is strenuous; I have nothing in common with these people I so desperately crave. It's too late to call my dad now. It's too late to find someone to talk to. Nobody wants to talk with someone who talks only about herself.

Baker Baker
Baking a cake
Make me a day
Make me whole again
And I wonder
What's in a day
What's in you cake this time