The camera makes me look like myself. I don't want to look like me.
The Maj Karma song "Aaverakastajat" reminds me of Kim Ki-Duks film Iron Three. I've been enchanted by Wong Kar-wai and Kim Ki-duk for a while now.
Also by Maj Karman Kauniit Kuvat. Compared to CMX Maj Karma is like liquor compared to red wine (and the Maj Karma liquor induces walking on all fours in a hangover and weeping in anger); CMX is stoic, intellectual and lyrically intertextual, whereas Maj Karma is a punch in the face, crying after lost love. It's like martial arts contrasted to scraped knees when drunk. I use a lot of similes to alcohol... they sing about alcohol, so I figure it's warranted. The only thing CMX and Maj Karma have in common is the Finnish language. Usually it's far easier for me to empathise with the desperate, jealous cries of longing in MK's songs than the thulean poetry of CMX. Interesting considered the history of CMX, with their first EPs and such. The sonic worlds of these two also differ quite a lot; it's a very different day if I listen to CMX than if I listen to MK.
It's snowing again. And I love my view of white-laden treetops and grey skies.
The cats come and try to help me while I'm cutting t-shirts on the floor. The woollen rug is a code for Malla to come and ask for pats. Then she makes a funny beeping soun while I try to fend her off, with the scissors in my other hand. Terttu stares at the snow falling and keeps watch at me.
I'll wait and see what happens with my applications for a side job. Maybe it's condemnable to only work, or only think of work -
missä on kaikki sellaiset / jotka haluu tehdä / muutakin kuin töitä? -
but I often feel I don't have much else than that work. Sure I want something else, but I usually fill the voids in my life with extremes, such as addictions. "I'll rather be sick and rich than sick and poor." (Though I was poor anyway because taxes ate up the riches.) A lot of people I know are in the group with the common denominator "you don't need much money to be happy"... and I feel so alienated, because sure I also want to think that. I just don't know what else I would do if I didn't work. The previous year showed I would have been sitting alone at home if I wasn't at work, and at least now I do KNOW that INDEED I'd sit in my flat alone if I am not at work, and I'm not anxious about why it is so.
At least I'd rather walk hungry in Paris than sit with my belly stuffed in my flat here in the forest. I like the forest but I like Paris as well.
Also by Maj Karman Kauniit Kuvat. Compared to CMX Maj Karma is like liquor compared to red wine (and the Maj Karma liquor induces walking on all fours in a hangover and weeping in anger); CMX is stoic, intellectual and lyrically intertextual, whereas Maj Karma is a punch in the face, crying after lost love. It's like martial arts contrasted to scraped knees when drunk. I use a lot of similes to alcohol... they sing about alcohol, so I figure it's warranted. The only thing CMX and Maj Karma have in common is the Finnish language. Usually it's far easier for me to empathise with the desperate, jealous cries of longing in MK's songs than the thulean poetry of CMX. Interesting considered the history of CMX, with their first EPs and such. The sonic worlds of these two also differ quite a lot; it's a very different day if I listen to CMX than if I listen to MK.
It's snowing again. And I love my view of white-laden treetops and grey skies.
The cats come and try to help me while I'm cutting t-shirts on the floor. The woollen rug is a code for Malla to come and ask for pats. Then she makes a funny beeping soun while I try to fend her off, with the scissors in my other hand. Terttu stares at the snow falling and keeps watch at me.
I'll wait and see what happens with my applications for a side job. Maybe it's condemnable to only work, or only think of work -
missä on kaikki sellaiset / jotka haluu tehdä / muutakin kuin töitä? -
but I often feel I don't have much else than that work. Sure I want something else, but I usually fill the voids in my life with extremes, such as addictions. "I'll rather be sick and rich than sick and poor." (Though I was poor anyway because taxes ate up the riches.) A lot of people I know are in the group with the common denominator "you don't need much money to be happy"... and I feel so alienated, because sure I also want to think that. I just don't know what else I would do if I didn't work. The previous year showed I would have been sitting alone at home if I wasn't at work, and at least now I do KNOW that INDEED I'd sit in my flat alone if I am not at work, and I'm not anxious about why it is so.
At least I'd rather walk hungry in Paris than sit with my belly stuffed in my flat here in the forest. I like the forest but I like Paris as well.
