By the way, my mom went to Kansas for a bit. She had an interesting chat with a girl I've known virtually since I was born. My mom was also drunk. It apparently went something like this ( Read more... )

I enjoy how I can spend fifty bucks in under two hours. I've always had the power to do a nice magic trick with money. Now you see it, now you don't! However, I'm pretty savvy with my Benjamins. Or Washingtons, as it may be. We went to the city wide garage sale down at the high school. I got four CDs (Title TK by The Breeders, Shoot Your ( Read more... )

What have I been up to lately? A metric shit-ton of sleep deprivation for starters. Since my little brother has been on Christmas break, my sleep schedule has been completely messed up. My mom's surgery hasn't helped. Today was the first real day I've gotten my needed amount of sleep (you know, like twelve hours) so I feel pretty good right ( Read more... )

Happy belated birthday to Mr. William Young, I hear he's even older as of yesterday ( Read more... )

Huzzah! My mom may have gotten a job. Mondays Wednesday Fridays, doing clerk shit at a doctor's office in Tullahomo. This saves me (kinda) from having to get a job. Because honestly, just look at me. I'm a mess. But I make it look so charming. Like Stephen Hawking! Wow, that comparison SO did not just happen ( Read more... )

I forgot to mention that when we were cleaning, my mom founded a studded for her pleasure condom in my room. (Eww.) She was like, "What the Hell?" And I was all, "oh, I was looking for that. Thanks ( Read more... )

I just woke up and my mom's like, "Can you sweep the floor? ...I can hear you gritting your teeth." If you ever hear me gritting my teeth, it's time to back away from me slowly. Or maybe quickly depending on what you've done to make me grit my teeth. However, I swept the floor, all while repeating my mantra of, "Canst thine hath milk curd ( Read more... )

Between the sugar and the alcohol I was forced to consume by my evil mother, I have a slight buzz. And some guy was arguing with me in the German chatroom, some American guy. I mentioned I was from Tennessee and he said, "Shit, you should have said so, now go get some moonshine and bang your dad!" When I said, "No, I'll leave that to you ( Read more... )

I go into my mom's room about 50 million times a day. Just giggling and going 'Whatcha doin'?' She yells at me every time. So I told her, she should just download AIM or something so I wouldn't have to. So she did. And this is the thanks I get for my helpful suggestion ( Read more... )

You know, I really hate childfree people. Really. And truly. They are just some of the most pompous assholes ever. Especially the ones who throw the word 'breeder' around all the time and use it with such disdain. I hate the ones who think that all people who decide to have kids are gaptoothed hicks on welfare who don't know the first thing ( Read more... )