2010 Ranting . . . Bitter thoughts and Mature Language
1/11/09
I am here slowly cleaning things one at a time as I am feeling better than I have compared to all of last week.
I am just sitting worried, which isn't anything new. I tried calling my mom twice yesterday and no one picked up the phone. It has worried me, because they had financial problems especially after my grandma had passed away. It worried me that they didn't pick up; I thought maybe the phone was turned off. I would be pissed off if my brother fell asleep with the damn phone off the hook or he rolled over on it again.
Anyway, Tom and I made an awesome dinner last night . . . orange glazed chicken on rice with veggie stuffed potatoes. We had a good day until I found my father's house got robbed. They broke the back door, took all of the electronics, and we believe possibly drugged the dogs. My father understands security so he was able to get pictures of criminals and basically do the police job for them. I just feel really bad, because of all of my brother's games and cash was taken, and they are not handling things well. It just worries me that they have two dogs and yet neither dog did anything and one of the dog doesn't like men, so if the criminals were guys they had to have drugged the dogs.
I have tried to write this blog all afternoon and beside getting distracted from some teen-bop soap opera and the damn hallway smoke alarm going off, I can't these angry, bitter thoughts about these robbers, I just wish they would get caught and for people to stop hurting others.
Then Tom woke up yesterday, and we had friends visit, and of course while watching this damn movie, I feel asleep.
1/12/09
Anyway, I am finally sitting here, dirty dishes in the sink, a million ideas in head, a Charlie-horse in my left calf which is what woke me up in the first place, and dense mucus in my chest making me completely wheeze.
First of all, I wish this damn cold would dissolve and allow me to focus again; I feel I am behind, and my mom and my brother are trying to get me to come over. However the next few days would be the ideal days to do it, because the bus route near my mom’s house is ending as of Friday. The damn commissioner is dropping 8 routes and is combining the 4 routes into 2, and having them travel every other hour. What is going to piss me off is that those buses are going to be so jam packed that it will probably have stand up room only, which is illegal.
I believe that the commissioner doesn’t care if they are making this county a “ghost town,” and that people are going to lose their jobs. All they care about is making more money so they can skim off the top. I think they have to take a week and ride the buses so they know what is really like taking the bus, how people rely on the bus everyday to get to work. First of all, I just did some research of these commissioners and one of them doesn’t even live in the same county. One of Lorain County Commissioners lives in Cuyahoga County, how can you control/run a county you don’t even live in? (Not to mention they are getting rid of two routes the commissioners would need to even do this.) I believe they got rid of the routes, because they didn’t want buses traveling through their neighborhood, and they wanted to pocket more money. These are a few current articles about the new combined routes.
http://chronicle.northcoastnow.com/2010/01/12/transit-routes-slashed-only-2-to-remain/
http://www.morningjournal.com/articles/2010/01/12/news/mj2141133.txt
Back to what happened to my father on Sunday, I am really pissed off, because it happened to them while they were away in church. Somewhere, to some religion or belief, I think they would call that a double sin or a super sin or something. It really angers me that my father busts his ass to earn a decent living to give my brothers nice things and so lazy, mother-fucking assholes think they have to right to bust in and take it all away.
I lived with my father for 17 years on that street and now it just doesn’t feel safe. I hope the cops catch the damn crooks, because they don’t want me or my father to catch them. I really think that most people deep down inside don’t change and desire and instincts run deep. I also think stealing for some people is a rush and no matter how much you try to help, sometime the best cure is cutting off the fingers or hand. I know it sounds barbaric and on some level, insane, but isn’t any crazier than to take something that doesn’t belong to you.
I am beginning to think that this world is for the criminals and decent people who are just to survive one moment to another are outnumbered. The worst criminals are the politicians getting everything handed to them as they are trying to up taxes (so they can get more raises) while they tell their rich friends what other tax shelters to find their large funds in. I was in a legally situation almost 5years ago, but I see myself as a criminal, because I did not anything wrong, but be at the wrong place at the wrong time and I talked to the wrong people. Criminals, to me, are people who will hurt anyone else simply because they don’t care; they don’t care about the consequences of others and they are selfish and only care about themselves: and stupid people are making more and more of them everyday.
I am sick to death of bad guys winning; I wish all of the “real” criminal would just . . . . I can’t say (Karma would kick my ass if I finish my true thought.)
Karma, God, Goddess, Buddha, High Spirit . . . another deity or spirit more powerful or higher than me. . .
I am sick to death of people busting their ass to try make the world a better place and getting no where and the evil criminals getting away with theft and murder. If you are truly Powerful and Just than make this world a better place . . . please let the criminals get what is truly coming to them-and please give some people a break. Please grant this world more safety and less crime. I am sick of the “wrong” people getting the buck. I sick of giving me more reason to trust people less. I sick to death of feeling like no matter how hard I work it is for nothing. Prove me wrong: show me purpose, show me life is just and worth living; show me that wrong people are going to get what is really coming to them (and it is not a nice house and lots of money. . . it’s a cold jail cell.) I am just sick of bad things happening to good people. Please make things better.
Peace
Becky