the sort of things that z does which make my brain explode
Z has developed a lump on his back, which I've been on his case about to get sorted with loving statements such as this one:
N:Go get it looked at! Soon! If not immediately! Morever, I don't understand why it didn't just occur to you yourself to get it sorted out when you noticed it was there.
Z: Oh because I get those lumps from time to time and then they just dissappear.
N:Well that thing hasn't vanished. It's grown.
Z: I had a huge lump on my chest a couple of years ago. It was really painful too. So I just got rid of it.
N: (with rising sense of dread) What do you mean?
Z: I just sterilised a needle with a lighter flame and poked it into the lump until all the gunk inside flowed out.
N: Argh! You're insane! You're a maniac! You can't do DIY surgery!
Z: I don't see why not. It was very hygenic. I even sterilised the wound afterwards by spraying it with perfume.
N: round eyed, but speechless
Z: (defensively) It was perfectly fine! Perfume's got alcohol in it!
N:(stops participating in exchange on account of the fact that her brain has exploded)
Z:(with satisfaction) I am the Ray Mears of medicine.
N:Go get it looked at! Soon! If not immediately! Morever, I don't understand why it didn't just occur to you yourself to get it sorted out when you noticed it was there.
Z: Oh because I get those lumps from time to time and then they just dissappear.
N:Well that thing hasn't vanished. It's grown.
Z: I had a huge lump on my chest a couple of years ago. It was really painful too. So I just got rid of it.
N: (with rising sense of dread) What do you mean?
Z: I just sterilised a needle with a lighter flame and poked it into the lump until all the gunk inside flowed out.
N: Argh! You're insane! You're a maniac! You can't do DIY surgery!
Z: I don't see why not. It was very hygenic. I even sterilised the wound afterwards by spraying it with perfume.
N: round eyed, but speechless
Z: (defensively) It was perfectly fine! Perfume's got alcohol in it!
N:(stops participating in exchange on account of the fact that her brain has exploded)
Z:(with satisfaction) I am the Ray Mears of medicine.